Parental DisAdvisory
by CkKollman
Summary: After falling victim to her parents' feuding, and Edward's bullying, Bella decides to fight back, and finds herself entwined with the family Cullen. Edward faces harsh realities surrounding his parents' accident years prior. Can they mend? ExB
1. Prologue: Blank Paper

**Stephenie Meyers owns The Twilight Saga.**

**I own the books, movie, and a magazine.**

**That's about it.**

**This is my first fic. Enjoy. Please don't hesitate to comment.**

**P.S. Each chapter will start with a poem, assume to be written by Bella, unless told otherwise.**

* * *

Prologue-Blank Paper

**BPOV**

_"Blank Paper"_

_I keep trying to come up with excuses,  
Of why the page is still unread,  
As you know you can't judge a book by its cover,  
Yet the words are still in my head,  
I think it feels so empty,  
Because you aren't here by my side,  
The emptiness spills upon the paper,  
I feel the pain writing itself in your eyes,  
All I see are a bunch of lines,  
A pattern of definition,  
An article of confession,  
For a love,  
That will never be again,  
And yet I want more,  
As the tear is the only emotion,  
That's fallen into these pages,  
A book of true obsession,  
A lifetime of perfection,  
From the art of skillful war,  
And yet the swords are words,  
That I refuse to have to defend myself from,  
So at that the battle is won,  
My heart beats no longer,  
For the one I've longed for,  
This book is of self-expression,  
For random kindness and senseless acts of beauty._

**Phoenix, Arizona**

"Are you ready, Bells?" Charlie asked.

I zipped my bag, and took a final look around the apartment. Satisfied that I had everything, I answered.

"Yeah, dad I'm ready, do you need help with mom's things?" I guess I could at least go easy on him.

"Nope, I think we're good, let's get out of here, we have a flight and long drive ahead of us."

The flight wasn't too bad. The drive in the car with only my parents was much worse. Luckily, I drowned myself in my mix cd's, turning my portable player full blast. By the time we made it back home in Forks, I was nearly deaf from the music.

I made a beeline for my room, I locked myself up to unpack, I grabbed my cigarettes first and wretched my window open to fan out the smoke and along with it the smell. I let my mind wander to what is yet to come.

I ground out the cigarette, making sure the flame was completely out before sticking my head out the window and stealthily dropping the butt behind the bush down below. I grabbed a couple pens and pencils, my journal, a notebook, and sketchpad. Drowning myself in my emotions, I began to write, and draw.

Blank paper was my freedom. I could be who I wanted to be. I wrote poetry and dabbled in stories. Most of all it kept me sane, which was my biggest worry. I didn't want to inherit the crazy.

I decided it was late enough that Charlie and Renee would be in bed. I made my way down stairs, grabbed some iced tea, and my secret stash of twizzlers. I entered my room again, and I abruptly noticed my eighth grade yearbook peaking out from under my bed. Deciding to take a minute to be nostalgic, I grabbed it. I didn't make it past the inside cover before I felt tears prick my eyes. I read the passage over and over.

_'Isa- I hope this summer you realize your true place, and that it's not next to me. Here's to getting over your obsessions, your clumsiness, and your intentions to annoy me to death. I hope you drown in your tears. -Sincerely Edward. P.S. Have a nice summer.'_

Why the teachers thought it was a good idea to pass this around so that anybody and everybody could sign it was beyond me. If this summer wasn't bad enough, I had to get this delivered just to make it worse.

I flipped to Edward's picture and began to study his features. His Bronze hair was in a spiky buzz cut, popped collar on his pink polo. I remember the guys thought it was the new trend. It was those damned emerald green eyes that still got me every time.

I looked over to my picture. I was wearing a simple flower patterned sundress, hair in a high ponytail. I wasn't extraordinary, or beautiful. I was just normal, plain, bland, Isabella. Oh, what they are in store for come Monday. My first day at Forks High School.

I vow Edward. Will. Not. Get. To. Me.

**EPOV**

Shit, three days, three days until my first day at Forks High.

This summer flipped my personality ass backwards, and I'm not quite sure how it happened. My parents passed years ago in a car accident, and I had long ago coped with the loss. I was just grateful that my mother's best friend, my godmother, kept her promise and took me in.

I had always referred to them as Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle, so it was comforting when they took me in at the age of seven; it seemed natural. I even grew accustom to calling them mom and dad. Alice and Emmett were always like my siblings, so I took to calling them sister and brother, which they also reciprocated.

It wasn't until mid-June that a package arrived. I guess they had sold my parents' house finally and the new owners found a few things that had been left behind. I nearly wretched again thinking about its contents.

The hospital records were in it and it took me three days to get up the nerve to read them. The first thing I noticed was the report of a cocktail of anti-depressants which my mother was on. This made me flinch, because I never remember her being unhappy. It was the alcohol level on my father's tox. report that sent me in a whirlwind.

Don't get me wrong my father was not an alcoholic, but it angered me to think he'd be stupid enough to drink and drive. Even though the report states that the accident was caused by the other driver, I couldn't shake the knowledge. I blamed him, I blamed her, thus my transformation over the summer.

Since then, I've grown my hair out, Em says it looks like glorified sex hair, which I find ironic. I pierced my lip. I mainly wear bondage pants, band shirts, chucks, or combat boots. Sometimes I sport black nail polish and 'guyliner', much to Carlisle and Esme's dismay. I never talk to my old friends anymore. I find them completely immature and ignorant. I quit playing sports and joined the band and chorus this year.

I've thrown myself into music this summer, playing, listening, appreciating. Esme was thrilled that I started playing the piano again, even if she felt the tunes were 'melancholy', but whatever. I have even written quite a bit of poetry and lyrics. They might not recognize me this year, and for that I am entirely hopeful.

All the anxiety of going back to school was creeping in so I decided that I needed a cigarette. In the haste of getting my nicotine fix, I dropped my lighter. I knelt down to reach under my bed, but it wasn't the lighter my hand first made contact with, but my yearbook.

I grabbed the cigarette-blocking book and quickly found the runaway lighter. I decided to familiarize myself with the faces, before I had to take to the halls Monday. I smiled at the fact that I had everyone's signature. Except hers. Isabella Swan.

I kind of felt bad considering the crap I wrote in hers. She was never mean to me though she was a little obsessed with me. The guys were always pushing me to treat her shitty or say completely rash things to her.

I made my way out to my balcony, and proceeded with smoking. I ran my thumb over her face, a picture of her pure innocence, well as innocent as I was aware. She had an abrupt change to her though. I couldn't help but to laugh at the last vague conversation I had with her.

_"One day you'll realize that you are, in fact, not as cool as you think you are." Isabella's voice was clipped, and determined.  
_

_"If I'm not that cool, then why do you blush every time I so much as look at you sweetheart? What is it that you find irresistible if it isn't my cool factor?" I asked her in the best silky voice I could muster. _

_"Your eyes." She shrugged. _

_I stood speechless for a full minute before I could muster a smirk. "They were my mother's, though I think they look good on me, don't you think, honey?" _

_"Of course, but if you're not careful they will lose their power on us girls, behind your asshole demeanor, shittastic attitude, and all the fuckery you pull." She replied in a huff, before turning to stalk away from me._

_To say I was speechless was an understatement._

She usually cried or ran from me, but those last couple of days her eyes seemed vacant and cold. I knew things were going to shit with the chief's wife. Never, never had I heard Isabella curse before, she always berated me when I did. That rant floored me, and I had realized in that moment that something was terribly wrong. I never got a chance to verify that, because after that day, she was gone.

I snubbed my cigarette out before retreating back into my room. I took one last look at her picture before tossing the book back under my bed. I needed to know what turned her world over, and fix it. I needed to know her.

I would fix Isabella. Marie. Swan

**A/N:**

**The prologue is rather short, the chapters tend to be quite longer...**

**Prologue Playlist**

**1. Warning- Incubus**

**2. Like a Man Possessed- The Get Up Kids**

**3. Psycho- Puddle of Mudd**

**4. Nowhere kids- Smile Empty Soul**

**5. Numb- Linkin Park**

**Reviews are more than welcome.**

**I hope you continue reading...**


	2. Chapter 1: Claustrophobic

**I do not own 'The Twilight Saga', Stephanie Meyers does.**

**But she doesn't let her Edward and Bella do the things mine do.**

If you're bored I have Twitter.

Please leave feedback on my poems, it would be greatly appreciated considering it was my first love.

I hope you Enjoy.

Ch. 1-Claustrophobic

**BPOV**

_"Anything"___

_If I could feel anything,__  
__Say anything,__  
__Do anything,__  
__I would be angry,__  
__Crazy, insanely, frightened,__  
__Tears trailing to a fist,__  
__Which would punch the first,__  
__Mirror in which I see myself,__  
__Back sliding against the wall,__  
__To the floor, Banging my head,__  
__Unto a door that leads me,__  
__No where in particular,__  
__Banging my head anyway,__  
__To feel the pain buried,__  
__Beneath the numb,__  
__I would walk and hitchhike,__  
__Miles and miles to the Pacific coast,__  
__Just to breathe the air,__  
__And maybe drown,__  
__But at least I would have,__  
__Seen, that which is not there,__  
__I would sing every night,__  
__In front of strangers who would,__  
__Probably laugh and boo,__  
__But at least I would feel,__  
__The air enter and leave my lungs,__  
__Signaling that I am, in fact, breathing,__  
__But I cannot truly do these things,__  
__So I will just sleep another night away,__  
__Alone in my own room.__  
__With no one wanting to be with me,__  
__Snuggling the pillow of the one who refuses to stay,__  
__Refuses to go,__  
__Refuses to do anything._

As I walked through the first set of steel doors, I could feel the tension in the air. I couldn't really wrap my head around it. The hospital staff, the students at school, the people around town all have witnessed my embarrassment, her name is Renee.

Those who haven't figured it out yet only know that during spring break of eighth grade year, I was pulled from school and taken with my family. My father Chief Swan took a leave of absence as we took my mother to Phoenix, to the "Psych Ward."

Where's the embarrassment in that you ask? What fourteen year old do you know had to carry a garbage bag filled with hate letters, dirty underwear, pubic hair and dildos, onto an ambulance, at two o'clock in the morning? This one. I had to accompany my mother, who was screaming that her husband, my father, gave her crabs.

No my father did not give my mother crabs, but in all her delirium she thought that he had. Charlie, however, after getting in a fight with Renee, had opted to retreat to his friend Billy's house in La Push or "The Rez" as we so like to call it. I had no idea what was going on, but I could not fathom Charlie ever cheating on my mom, turns out I was right.

What solidified this fact was mom's reaction to finding out where dad was. I believe she said something along the lines of "That damn Indian 'ill skin your head Charlie, he's a werewolf. Don't you know you can't trust werewolves? I did once, and so help me I'll never do it again."

That time the doctors had called it 'Paranoid Schizophrenia.' No one knew the extent of this beyond myself, they just knew that the Chief's wife and my mother, had gone completely mental.

I am Bella Swan, daughter of the Chief of Police Charlie Swan and Crazy Renee, and this is my freshman year at Forks High.

We returned from Phoenix about a week ago, but I kept safe distance from anyone and everyone. I wasn't ready to answer their questions, nor was I ready for their blatant opinions. I think everyone was shocked to see me again. Well, at least in the state that I am in. When I left four and a half months ago, I had been an honor student. I was clumsy, high-strung, I had been 'Isabella'.

Now I am unresponsive with black nail-polish, masking my face with my hair, and the hood of a worn Korn hoodie that I 'stole' from Billy's son Jake. I am 'Bella', and I choose to stay that way.

I could hear Lauren whispering to Jessica, I'd know their voices anywhere. Best friends my ass. I glanced over my right shoulder and I could see them peaking at me. Angela was with them shooting them disapproving looks, and apologetic ones at me.

Angela is such a good person, I'm pretty sure she'll be my only confidant in these gossip riddled halls. She isn't into all the gossip, but she's a good listener and silent partner.

I was attempting to locate my locker, but I stopped dead in my tracks. My ears were hot, and cold chills ran down my spine.

I knew that feeling, but now it was much more intense, it was a presence, his presence. It wasn't until I felt my hood being lowered, and hot breath tickling my hair, that I was absolutely sure. My nerves kicked into high gear, and my mind went wild.

_Why is he so close, and touching me?_

I mean in Junior High, he knew that I had this embarrassingly huge crush on him. He made fun of me everyday for it. He hated me. He was the popular bad boy persona, that also had perfect grades, he was just mysterious. He made me cry in public more times than I care to admit. I told myself that I was done and he would not affect me anymore. This summer I vowed that much.

"Isabella" his velvety voice swept over my skin. So much for him not affecting me anymore. My knees were weak, my cheeks went flush, and I swear if I so much as exhaled, I'd fall to the floor.

"Isabella, you are in front of my locker." Suddenly I was not aware of what he had said, all I could think about was the voice in which he said it, 3,2,1...and now it started sinking in.

_Oh well, that's embarrassing, I'm ogling his voice and he's telling me I need to move. _

I took two steps to the right to find that I too was in front of my locker.

_Crap, great start to the year ISABELLA, perfect._

I turned my head slightly to the left, and without actually looking at him, I replied in a stern whisper.

"Actually Edward, it's Bella."

I could almost feel his velvety chuckle making my composure cracked along with my temper. I turned to take him on, but instead I felt my jaw drop as I took in his appearance.

_My god. No really_.

His hair appeared much longer, definitely not a buzz cut, but pretty awesome. He was wearing chucks, bondage pants, a red studded belt, an old Nirvana t-shirt and the sexiest labret I had ever seen. It matches mine as a matter of fact.

Fuck I was completely, madly in love with Edward Fucking Masen, yet again.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, no really smirked. Incredibly sexy I must admit, until I heard his next statement.

"Okay well, Izzy, I hope you have a good rest of the day, and by good I mean no trips to the nurses office. Oh and I have some tissues in my locker in case you feel the need to cry."

_Shit, that mother-_ "Eddie, the only one going to be crying is you, if you ever fucking dare to call me Izzy again."

He looked shocked for about a second and a half.

"Uh Oh, looks like IZZY may need a trip to Phoenix."

Did I mention I hate Edward fucking Masen?

"EDDIE, you don't fucking know me or my situation well enough to be pulling mom jokes on me."

And, I kneed him in the groin. _Man that felt good._

"Why don't you have Dr. Daddy take a look at that, will you rich boy."

_No now that felt good._

I walked away, and I proudly wore my little smirk that I cleverly stole from the one and only Edward Anthony Fucking Masen Cullen.

_Ha ha, Eddie, ha ha._

I made it through my first two classes without much trouble. Teachers thought I was new, and made me introduce myself, eliciting sideways glances and a lot of whispering. _Great now EVERYONE recognizes me. _

_Cue hiding in the hair..._

I got hit on a few times, I usually just ignored them, or did the classic smile and nod thing. I was on my way to lunch, Angela had just joined me and said I could sit with her.

I grabbed just a lemonade and a slice of pizza and was heading towards the table Angela was directing me towards.

_Just great Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley._

"Bella. Bella Swan, come here and sit with us!" I heard. I turned my head to find...wait is that Alice, ha-ha she looks like a goth Tinkerbell.

"Go ahead, I know you don't want to be stuck with these two, have fun." Angela reassured me, and she didn't seem hurt by it at all, so I conceded.

"Thanks, though I'm not sure I'll do much better over there. I'll give it a shot I guess. Talk to you later."

_Crap, what the hell was I thinking..._

Alice was there waiting with her brothers Emmett, and Edward of course. With them were Jasper and Rosalie Hale, as I'm guessing are her and Emmett's significant others, considering the way they were wrapped around each other.

"Hey Bella, welcome back to Forks, you weren't gone long, when did you get back?" Alice spouted off, before I could even take my seat.

"Um I got back a week ago."

Her expression softened a bit. "How's your mom doing?"

_Great sympathy._

"I'm sure she doesn't want your sympathy, Alice." Edward who had been quiet up until that point, decided to, oh so pleasantly, throw in.

"No, she's fine. It's a legitimate question. My mom is stable. She's slightly skid-dish right now, but meds will do that to you I suppose." I tried to answer respectfully and only a little evasive not wanting to really relive the whole garbage bag incident.

"Bella, if you ever need a place to stay, Alice's parents or our own, would never hesitate to offer you a bed. Just let us know." To say I was surprised would be and understatement, because this was Rosalie Hale, inviting me to live with her if the situation called for it.

As I glanced around the table though, I noticed them all nodding their heads in agreement, only Edward hesitated, but agreed. "Thank you, Rosalie. I must say though that if it comes down to that, I'd be much safer with Alice's parents, considering the relationship my mother has with your own."

She looked confused for a minute, and then it clicked. "Yes, I suppose I forget that you are Marcus and Kate's sister."

"You have siblings, Bella?" Edward posed the question, though Emmett and Alice were both questioning me with their looks. Jasper was just nodding, as he too remembered my extended relationship with their family.

"Yes, I have siblings, Edward." I was pretty surprised by his interest, though it was Emmett this time with the curiosity.

"How many?"

"Four." I replied nonchalantly, trying not to make a huge deal out of it.

"But aren't you the only one living with Charlie and Renee? Where are the others? Who are the others" Edward was tapping into Alice I do believe. This was bound to be a longer conversation that I was not quite sure I was ready to have, but might as well get it over with.

"Listen up, because I'm only going to get through this once with the little amount of time we have." I gave a slight smile so they wouldn't think I was being bitchy.

"My mom and dad are eleven and a half years apart in age, and they are both on their second marriage. Renee was married to an abusive alcoholic Phil first. With him, she had two children Marcus and Kate. My dad was married to this trashy slut Carmen first. With her, he had Alec and Jane. Mom is significantly older making Marcus 29, and Kate 22. While dad's kids are closer in age to me with Alec at 19, and Jane at 18."

"So where are they all?" All the Cullen's chimed together.

"Marcus is married and lives in Seattle. Kate is in Port Angeles, she's engaged, to a guy that just got out of jail, which is what set my mom off to begin with. Alec is married and also lives in Port Angeles, and Jane is married, and I have no idea where she is."

_Okay well, nothing but raised eyebrows, further explanation needed._

"Kate became pregnant at 18, middle of senior year. She moved to Port Angeles when I got chicken pox, so I wouldn't give them to her while she was pregnant. Mom only gets really bad when stuff happens with her, because she doesn't think she can do anything for herself. Which I agree with because she has no common sense. Alec got his girlfriend Maria who is 16 pregnant, so they are married now and expecting in February. Jane was married nearly three years ago when she got pregnant at 15, she's expecting again in December. She appears time and time again, but she never sticks around."

"So how are you, Rosalie and Jasper related?" Emmett asked.

"Well, we're not really. Marcus and Kate are, because their dad is like Rosalie and Jasper's second cousin, which makes their mom, my brother and sisters Great Aunt? Do I have that right?" I looked at Jasper and I knew I had it at least somewhat correct.

"Yeah, it's something like that. Or you could just say that our mom and your mom are like sisters or best buds." Jasper said. I was nodding until Rosalie snapped out. "Yeah, that's until your mom went all nut-so on her." I cringed a little inside, but instantly agreed, glaring right back at her.

I didn't know if it was agreement or contradiction, but she was right and I was too with my reply. "Hey, I agree I wouldn't stick around either, but I had no other choice. I had no where to go."

I decided I had enough Dr. Phil, or in my families case, Jerry Springer, and got up and left, feeling as though I had explained myself enough for one day.

That was until I felt that presence beside me again. With only a slight glance I saw him jogging towards me. "I'm sorry about Rosalie, she can be a bitch sometimes."

_Was he really doing this?_

"I know she can, I grew up with her remember? Look I don't need your sympathy either. You can just go back to making fun of me, and I'll just going back to kneeing you in the groin when you do."

He tried to mask his cringe, but I think I saw him keeping a close eye on the movement of my legs. "Look, I know you may have came to your senses since Junior High, and you hate me now, but Alice is right, if something happens again we have a spare bedroom."

"Thank you." I responded, slightly touched.

"What class do you have next Izzy-bella?" I believe I groaned internally. "Biology, but if you call me 'Izzy-bella' one more time, Eddie-ward, you may want to stop by coaches office and borrow a cup."

With my confusion he only smirked. "What is with you and wanting to hurt my man-junk? Never-mind. Let me walk you to class, Bella."

We were running late and everyone had already taken their seats, in my rush to get settled I hadn't yet noticed that Edward had sat down next to me. "Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention that Biology is my next class also."

_Smart ass._

Lucky for me, Mr. Banner had chosen that moment to start class. He explained that the partners we have now, will be our partners for the rest of the year.

_Great. _

I had zoned out somewhere in the middle of class, because I heard Edward chuckle. "Bella" he said as he nudged my elbow.

"143...I'm sorry what?" I replied.

He looked well humored. "143 what, Bella?"

"Sorry, sometimes when I zone out I find myself counting the bricks in the wall, or tiles on the floor. Sometimes I recite lyrics in my head. I think it is some sort of adult A.D.D. or something."

He nodded in understanding. "Yeah, sometimes I do that, too." he said.

"So what did I miss, I assume you were trying to get my attention for a reason?" I inquired. He simply pointed at the desk in front of me.

There was a small pile of notes in all different shapes and sizes. I risked a glance at Edward, who was turned away, trying and failing I might add, to hide his amusement.

The first note was from Mike Newton. Edward eyed me warily, but seemed relieved when I just rolled my eyes.

_'Bella, I was wondering if you'd join me at the bonfire on Friday?'_

Ah yes, the back to school bonfire, not happening, especially with that egghead, Mike. I jotted down a 'No thank you, I have plans this weekend.' and I sent it on. The next note was from a kid I didn't know, John.

_'Bella, I was wondering if you would like to study with me after school today?'__  
_  
_Was he joking? We haven't had any assignments yet._

I glanced around and quickly found this John character. I shook my head slightly in disbelief, I wrote a simple 'No thank you' and sent it on it's way. Last note looked like it was from Eric. I had met that kid earlier, he was the geeky type, so this one couldn't be too bad.

_'Bella, would you like to go to the movies with me? My mom can drive. She won't care if we make out in the car.'___

_Uh, gross. __  
_  
Okay that was my quota, I wrote a quick 'Not in your life.' I turned and chucked it at his head. While I was turned around, I felt something move slightly behind me. I turned back around in my seat and found yet another note waiting for me. I believe I muttered 'Christ' as I opened the paper.

_'Would you say yes to me?'_

I wanted to write, _'Well depends on who the hell ya are.'_ but that would be pointless because that was the mystery at hand.

I looked around the room, no suspects, huh. Then I noticed Edward sitting stone still. I replied with a 'Maybe, What are your conditions?' and I beat him to a smirk as he slightly gasped. He took the paper back and started writing again.

_'No conditions, the gang wanted to hang out after school and I thought you could help me even the group out. We thought about watching a movie at my house, and "snackin on some grindage".'_

I agreed, though I busted him for the Polly Shore vocab, and he told me I could ride with him, Emmett, and Alice in the Jeep.

The rest of the day went rather smoothly, I just couldn't wait to get this day over with. I could feel the relief spilling out of me as the final bell rang. I made a quick call to Charlie on Alice's cell, and before I knew it I was being strapped into the off-roading harness of Emmett's Jeep. Sitting next to Edward in such a confined space, the tension was thick, along with that undefined hum I felt around him.

_I wonder if he feels that too...__  
_  
The Cullen house I discovered is really a mini-mansion.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Jasper asked. "Encino Man or Pulp Fiction?"

We opted for Encino Man, and I couldn't help but toss a smirk to Edward.

"Bella, I have such a great idea for you!" Alice squealed.

I got some panicked glances from the boys that told me this was bad.

"What would that be, Alice?" She squealed again.

"A makeover!"

"No, Alice." She started to protest, but I interrupted again.

"Alice if you make me over, I'm making you over and trust me you won't like it." That shut her up.

"Touche" I heard her mutter.

They took me home a little later, filled up with popcorn and twizzlers. The next couple of weeks flew by in relatively the same manner. My sister Kate's wedding was fast approaching, and arguments, between my parents were becoming more frequent.

I stayed at the Cullen's as long as I could on weeknights, and had spent a couple weekends in sleep overs with Alice on weekends. That was until the middle of the second week of September, that my parents decided they needed me around to help navigate the wedding weekend fiasco.

_Please God, I beg of you, just let me survive..._

I was pretty sure he could appreciate my slight sarcasm there.

**A/N:**

**  
Chapter 1: Claustrophobic Playlist**

**1. Ready or Not- The Fugees**

**2. Alive- P.O.D.**

**3. Freak on a Leash- Korn**

**4. Pressure- Paramore**

**5. Head on Collision- New Found Glory**

**  
Reviews are more than welcome.**

**I hope you continue reading.**


	3. Chapter 2: Russian Roulette

**I don't own 'The Twilight Sage' SM does. **

**I own pencils, paper, and a computer.**

**With that I give you this…**

**Enjoy.  
**

Ch. 2-Russian Roulette

**BPOV**

_"Together We Wait" _

_Tomorrow never comes,__  
__Today never stays,__  
__And yesterday you just can't take back,__  
__Can you feel the days,__  
__Slipping from this calendar?__  
__Symbolizing the time we've wasted,__  
__Throwing away this eternity,__  
__We'll never have, if we don't find,__  
__Our courage, and strength to pursue,__  
__Together we wait,__  
__For the other to admit,__  
__Their mistakes, wants, needs,__  
__Together we wait,__  
__To sort out our thoughts,__  
__Our feelings,__  
__Together we wait,__  
__And fade away from this life,__  
__This love that we blatantly disregard and break,__  
__Before we can begin again,__  
__We'll lie, cheat, steal,__  
__But never take the consequences,__  
__Until we fall into each others arms,__  
__Slowing the clock,__  
__Taking our time,__  
__To touch, feel kiss,__  
__To remember what we'll soon know,__  
__What is to be a fate,__  
__That we will take full advantage of,__  
__Together we wait,__  
__To take on the world,__  
__Because together will be forever,__  
__When I'm in your hands,__  
__Your heart,__  
__Your whole existence,__  
__Which we call life._

I could tell it was going to happen the day of the wedding. My mom was going off about every little thing. Mrs. Hale or Charlotte, was trying to distract her to keep her calm, her husband Peter Hale, however, was staying out of the way. Smart man. It wasn't until the reception that it started getting really bad.

The wedding had went rather well. Pictures took forever, no joke. I had to walk with Jacob, one of Paul's groomsman, and also Billy's son. Yes, that is right, the owner of the 'Korn' hoodie. They happen to be cousin's, Paul is Quileute, same as Jacob, who is, I have to say rather handsome. I've never really felt that way about him, though. It didn't go unnoticed that Edward glared at him the entire time we had to be within proximity of each other.

The Cullen kids, and the Hale's were all there. The Hale's were invited because of their relation, the Cullen's were more because I begged and whined and got my way. Anyways.

I really loved my dress, Mori Lee, I'm not sure how much it cost, but I'm sure it wasn't as pretty as the dress. It's a pretty simple strapless, A-line, dark blue dress, with light blue accents below my bust to my waist. Very pretty. Edward told me so, well in his own way.

_'You look...beautiful, Bella. Um...yeah, very beautiful.'_ he had said. I could feel the heat ascending from my chest to my ears.

As soon as dinner was served at the reception I had Alice run out and get my bag so I could change out of the dress.

"Bella, would you care to explain why you have a week's worth of clothes in here?" I nodded curtly and just barely cracked the bathroom door.

"Where in the fuck did she go, Charlie? I need to know who gets these champagne flutes," Renee screeched.

"I saw her walk outside," Charlie said in a hushed tone.

"Well, where's that numb-nuts Paul, this is his wedding, too," she said.

"I saw him chase out after her!" Charlie shouted.

"Well, where the hell are they going, they better not think I'm cleaning this all up by myself, I'm already babysitting Joshie for a week!" she shouted, and right on time Charlie quipped back.

"I think she's trying to get away from you!"

And with that I closed the door. Alice looked shocked to say the least, considering there were still probably fifty guests watching all this go down.

Alice and I found the others and slipped out the back. Sure enough my sister was high-tailing it, wedding dress and all down the 101.

"I'll get her," Rosalie sighed.

"You can stay with me, there's no way you're going home to deal with that," Alice added.

We went inside to inform Charlie, as Rosalie ushered Kate and Paul back in. "Dad, I'm staying with Alice until mom calms down, alright?"

"No, you're not. I need your help dealing with her and Joshie," Charlie barked at me.

"Dad, I'm not staying with her while she does this, I had to deal with it all by myself last time," I reminded him.

"Fine you can stay at the Hale's tonight, but you are to be home tomorrow morning, 10 A.M. sharp are we clear?" I narrowed my eyes at him nodding.

"Yes, we are clear, but you can stop trying to issue me a punishment, because I didn't do shit. You need to focus on mom."

I saw his anger flair for a moment, a little bit of a mustache twitch, but he conceded, because he knew I was right.

Alice decided to stay at Rosalie's too, in fact we all did, so that they could try to defuse what was going on. "I think they need to up her meds," Emmett provided.

"Actually, they need to give them back. They took her off of them three days ago," I told them. To say they were shocked was an understatement. I decided to get some rest so I would be ready for the storm to ensue tomorrow.

I spent the entire day taking Joshie to the park and on a walk, anything and everything I could think of to stay out of the house. Charlie and Renee had been trying to see who could scream the loudest. Finally late enough that I could put Joshie to bed, I went home.

I went to my room and donned my headphones, so I could dull the noise. At some point, I distinctly remember someone opening my door, kissing me on the head, then leaving again. Then I heard the cruiser leave.

_'Seven already?'_ I asked myself. I better get ready for school.

I opened my eyes and noticed it was still dark in my room. I chanced a glance at my alarm and saw that it was 3:57 A.M. and that's when I felt the paper on my chest. I turned my lamp on and proceeded to read.

_Bella-__  
__ I couldn't handle it all. I escaped to Grandma Swan's. Then tomorrow I'll settle back in at Billy's. You are to look after your mother and Joshie, good luck. I love you.__  
__ -Charlie__  
__ P.S. Please don't tell mom where I am._

_That fucking hypocritical traitor._

Oh well, I decided to wait to deal with it until morning. I tossed and turned for a while, but I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I saw was Alice bounding through my bedroom door.

"Bella, what are you doing, go get showered, we're going to be late for school."

_Well at least she has coffee.___

_Wait..._

"Did my mom let you in?" I asked in disbelief, considering the attitude she's been in.

"No, she's not here," she said nudging me out of bed.

I sighed, slightly relieved we were alone, and high tailed it to the shower. Walking back to my room, I noticed a slightly paled Alice perched on my bed, clutching a piece of paper. "Alice, what's wrong?" I asked.

Holding out the piece of paper to reveal Charlie's note from last night, she replied, "I have a bad feeling about this." I nodded in agreement.

"It's what he usually does. I'm rather used to it. Though keep your ears open for me at night, I might be crawling in a window. If he isn't here, I don't have to stay. Period," I told her.

_If Charlie could run, well, so can I._

I was pretty numb coursing through school all day. Even band was a blur, and that's an accomplishment since I know for a fact I didn't get away without playing. Edward sensed I was out in Biology, but politely did not comment. I could tell, that he could tell, that I was bracing myself for what I might be potentially facing when I run into my mom, unshielded.

_Damn that Charlie. _

In the parking lot, I could tell the concern on all their faces. Edward handed me something when I got into the back of the Jeep. "It's a cell phone."

"We wanted you to be able to get in touch with us at any time under any circumstances, okay?" I nodded.

"All of our numbers are programmed in, including Peter, Charlotte, Carlisle, and Esme's, and some general emergency numbers. Do not hesitate to call or text." I'm pretty sure I was tearing up.

"Thank you," I managed to get out without breaking my composure. I knew if I let them see my real panic, they would never take me home. As it were though my nephew was with this psycho, so I needed to be there.

Edward grabbed my hand as I stepped out of the jeep. I glanced back, noticing a good amount of worry in his expression. "Be Safe," he murmured, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it.

I made my way through the house, but no one was there. No signs of anyone being there since I left. I hung out in my room trying to keep my nerves down, for what seemed like hours. I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I knew the front door slammed, foot steps ran up the stairs, and my door flew open. "Who do you love more, me or Charlie?"

_Bah, really mom...really?_

I groaned as I glanced at the clock.

"Mom we'll do this tomorrow, go get some sleep," I said.

"Fine," she said as she slammed the door.

I passed out again. At seven my alarm went off. I made my way to the bathroom. I walked in, closed the door, and sat on the closed toilet seat.

Brushing my hair and yawning like crazy, that's when I smelled it.

_Smoke, cigarette smoke. _

Sure enough there was an arm draped over the bathtub, cigarette in hand and what looked to be approximately fifty butts put out in the rug.

A small growl escaped me, _what the hell is she doing?_

I heard the water shift slightly and I heard her voice. "Who do you love more, me or Charlie?" she asked yet again.

"I'm not answering this mom, I'm trying to get ready for school."

She went to stand, step out, and face me. That's where my face mind and emotions numbed.

"You won't have to worry about school if you don't answer my question," she stated matter-of-factly, holding the hand gun about five feet away from me. It was pointed directly at my head.

She took a few steps forward, barrel now sitting directly against my temple. "Now I asked you a question, who do you love more, me or Charlie?"

_She cocked the gun. Um...shit._

I was probably stupid for doing it, I don't even know why I did, but without so much as removing my glare from the spot on the wall, not even blinking I said it, "Charlie."

With that she pulled the trigger. To my surprise my head was still attached. For some reason I didn't fear for my life. I don't know if I didn't have it in me, or if at that moment, I possibly would have been relieved, but I know I didn't feel as though my mind was attached to my body for the time being.

I knew this gun well enough to know that it only held six bullets. So I sat there and waited patiently. She continued cocking the gun and pulling the trigger. She was up to number four. "Where's Joshie mom?" I asked. I became terrified, rather quickly, for her to answer.

"The Hale's," she said attempting to shoot again. I let her get to twelve before I lost it.

I grabbed the barrel and pulled the gun from her hand quickly, I looked dead at her, no emotion left to give, I told her in the smoothest voice I could muster.

"Next time you try to kill me, make sure you have bullets first, mother." I dropped the hairbrush and made my way out of the house.

I noticed I had my cell so I quickly texted Alice to keep them from stopping at the house. I was about halfway to school when my sub-conscience told me a car just stopped for me.

Next thing I knew a very weary Jasper and Emmett were approaching me with hands at surrender. The rest were in the background looking horrified. That's when I noticed I was still clutching the gun, this time by the butt.

"Oh sorry," I let out. I extended the gun out to Jasper, barrel in my palm facing me, butt out, telling him I wasn't dangerous.

"Jesus, Bella, why do you have a gun?" he asked.

"Jasper, I'll answer that later when I'm more composed. Can you stash that please?" He placed it in Emmett's glove compartment, and helped me climb into jeep.

They took me to school and just before the bell rang, I remembered to ask Rosalie. "How is Joshie doing?"

She gave me a confused look. "I don't know what you're talking about, Bella."

I sighed. I guess I could have embellished a little. "Mom told me she dropped Joshie off with your mom in the middle of the night, last night."

She shrugged telling me, "He probably was just still asleep when we left this morning, I had no idea he was even there."

The day was numb and quiet once again. That was until I came into lunch and noticed my entire table talking over Rose, who was on the phone. She shot me a panicked glance and swiftly hung up the phone. I rushed over to her.

_Not good, not good, not good...__  
_

"What's going on Rosalie?" she took a deep calming breath.

"Do you have a way to get a hold of Kate?" I shook my head.

"I don't believe so, why? What is it?" I asked.

"That was my mom, she told me Renee never brought Joshie over." All the color drained from my face, I know it did, and I feel into a chair.

"Have her call Phil, if he isn't completely trashed already. He should have some information. He is the one who paid for the honeymoon in Reno." She nodded, already starting to call her mom back.

"I'll try calling Charlie," I murmured.

It was no use, he wasn't taking any calls from me.

"Mrs. Cope, really this is an extremely important family emergency. Please, I need to be excused the rest of the day," I pleaded with the office secretary.

"Why must all of you be excused?" she eyed my five friends like we were up to no good. "They are my friends, moral support, safety, brainpower, they are my family, and right now my guardians. I need their help," I replied honestly.

"Look, time is essential," I added.

"I don't know, I think I should call Chief Swan first," she retorted like it was some sort of threat.

"Go ahead, but he's not dealing with anything revolving around myself or my mother right now," she looked at me in disbelief.

"I think you should explain the situation first."

_Fuck of course, she's going to think I'm making this up._

"Alright, but just the bare minimum." She nodded.

"Charlie left around 4 A.M. Sunday morning. Leaving my mother, myself, and my nephew Joshie at the house. My mom and Joshie were no where to be found that morning. This morning she showed up and we had an argument. I asked her where Joshie was and she said she dropped him with the Hale's. Rosalie here, checked in with her mother at lunch to see how he was doing. That's when Charlotte told us that Renee never came to their house."

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I piled into the jeep, while Rosalie and Edward took the BMW. I had them slow to a crawl in front of my house. When I was satisfied Renee wasn't there, we stopped so that I could make sure Joshie wasn't left anywhere in the house. There was no sign of him, we checked the neighbors', the church, and the hospital. We went to every store in town including Newton's, and still nothing. I was really starting to panic.

Jasper's hand had taken up permanent residence on the back of my neck trying to calm me. Alice had about wore holes in my shirt while she attempted to hide her nerves and soothe mine. We relented for time being and decided to do another drive by so I could safely get some clothes and necessities to take with me to the Cullen's, where I was going to temporarily take up residence.

As we rounded the corner to the house, I froze, there was a white car in the drive. I realized there was someone perched on the porch. I noticed the driver's side door had a 'DCFS' emblem. I launched out of the jeep, which was barely stopped. Somewhere in my bravado I managed to stay upright.

"Where is he? Do you have him? Is he alright? Where's Renee?" I spouted out in rapid succession. She looked at me wide-eyed for a moment, then she glanced at the others who had accumulated behind me.

"Yes, we have him, he's at the office for now with a sitter, he's fine, and who's Renee?" she answered.

"Where'd you find him? Renee is my mother," I asked and answered.

"Let's sit," she motioned to the steps. I sat beside her, the others just stood waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Would your friends like to go inside while we talk?" she looked pointedly at the group.

Jasper started to speak, but I cut him off. "No, they may stay where they are. They're in this nearly as far as I am," I said, staring at her.

"Okay, I received a call from the 24 hour day care. They reported that a nearly fifty year old woman came in, and handed the child over. She said 'If you don't take him, he's going in the trunk.' then she gave Charlie's name and left."

_Sounds about right._

I must have been clutching the railing extremely hard, because the next thing I knew a warm hand was unfolding my fingers. Before I realized what happened, I was sitting across Edward. His right arm around my shoulders holding me tight to his chest, while he still held my hand he had unfolded.

I was trying to calm my breathing while I sucked back tears that I couldn't figure out if they came from fear or anger. "Can I see him?" I asked.

"I don't think so, but if you can explain who his is and why his mother dropped him like that, maybe we can work something out," she said rather sternly.

"Joshie is my nephew. Charlie and Renee are my parents, his grandparents. They are watching him while my sister is on her honeymoon," I told her. She told me to try my hardest to get ahold of Kate. I saw Joshie long enough to hug and kiss him, and make sure he was okay.

Charlotte gave me the name of the motel she finally weaseled out of Phil. After an hour and a half of me begging, Emmett cursing, Rose threatening, and a speaker phone conference with the regional, district, and general manager, they relented and patched me into the correct suite.

Another three hours of non-stop calling the room, and I finally got ahold of my sister, who of course panicked and said she would be on the first flight available.

Hanging up at approximately 1:43 in the morning, I looked around at my friends. My friends who were completely keyed up out of worry. They all gently waited for me to decide what's next. Except Alice.

"Well, what now?" the pixie asked.

They all saw the anger flicker over my face and I was met with raised eyebrows across the board. "We're going to La Push!" I said with forced enthusiasm, laced with disdain.

_I hope you're ready for me Charlie._

_  
_____

_  
____**A/N:**_

___**Chapter 2: Russian Roulette Playlist**_

___**1. White Wedding- Billy Idol**_

___**2. She's Gonna Break Soon- Less Than Jake**_

___**3. Stay Together for the Kids- Blink 182**_

___**4. Emergency- Paramore**_

___**5. Silhouettes- Smile Empty Soul**_

___**  
Reviews are more than welcome.**_

___**I hope you continue reading.**_


	4. Chapter 3: Asphyxiated

**I do not what-so-ever own 'The Twilight Saga'…dammit.**

**Feel free to stalk me on Twitter, because I love that shit.**

**I have outfits on Polyvore that I am still trying to figure out how to put on here, so um until then it's the same username if you want to check that out.**

**I have nothing else really to say other than…**

**Enjoy **

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ch. 3- Asphyxiated

**BPOV**

_"Asphyxiate"___

_Chalk drawn line,__  
__Powdered ignorance circumscribe,__  
__And yet you stand there over me,__  
__Not phased or even mesmerized,___

_You said, "We were just standing there."__  
__Continued with a- "That look, that glare."__  
__Truth was it was all you,__  
__It was all because of you...___

_"She looks like she asphyxiated."__  
__"Well, there's no sign of strangulation."__  
__"Sir please tell us what happened,__  
__We really need to know."___

_"Well detective, we were standing here,__  
__Communing in a sense, and she was angry.__  
__I told her that I couldn't go on,__  
__That the truth was, it was all a game."___

_"She looked at me and said 'asphyxiate',__  
__And then she started to have this seizure.__  
__Her eyes were cold and she looked so full of pain,__  
__Then she said 'told you' and clapsed."___

_"Detective we've found something that may be of assistance,__  
__Seems to us she knew this was coming,__  
__Yet she didn't care, all she cared about was...__  
__Him."___

_Note:__  
__Dear you:___

_ Keeper of my heart, writer of my songs, Actor of my play, Prince of my life.....I sing to you my song of death.....Because tonight at 9:43 p.m. I will asphyxiate....for your poison was consumed through that one kiss......I will seizure and I will roar.....I just want you to know that it's you that I adore........Song of death, air to be, let this man come to forgive me, song of all songs, righter of wrongs, let his mind relate, asphyxiate...................................good-bye.__  
__  
__ Sincerely,__  
__ Me___

_"Dear sir are you ok?" the detective said.__  
__"Detective I...I"__  
__Detective, "Oh my, Oh my...he asphyxiated."___

_I guess he shouldn't have read that note out loud,__  
__For now he's encircled in death's chalk cloud...___

_9:43 p.m. Dear you...asphyxiated.___

~*~

The little red house was completely still at 2 a.m., along with the rest of the town. We filed out of the cars , and without a care of neighbors or anyone else for that matter, I started pounding on the door.

I noticed Emmett's massive form directly behind me, flanked by Edward and Jasper, their arms crossed over their chests in matching stances. They were going to give it to Charlie if I couldn't, police chief or not.

Rosalie and Alice were off to the side with similar stances. I could tell Rose was fuming. Alice was bouncing with anticipation.

"Charlie, you cowardly bastard, open up right now or Emmett will bust down Billy's door!" I seethed. Rosalie snorted, I assumed she was quite proud that I was putting both chiefs in their places.

I was still pounding on the door when it swung open to a still half asleep Jacob. "Jesus sweetheart, stop your damned pounding. What do you want, Bells?" he grumbled.

Jacob's massive form towered over me, by more than a foot. He was taller than Edward, Jasper, and Emmett, and his build certainly competed with Emmett's, but I didn't care. "Charlie, get him now!" I demanded.

He flinched noticeably enough, but quickly took a determined stance. "I'm sorry, but Charlie said to ignore you and Renee for the time being."

I started to try to nudge Jacob out of the way and squeeze between him and the door frame, but he wouldn't budge. Instead his massive hands secured around my upper arms, surrounding alabaster with umber, and he physically placed me a little further out of the door.

Before Emmett had a chance to react I had swung my right hand forward making contact with Jacob's left cheek with a loud slap. "You do not touch me, Jacob," I said eerily low.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I told you, you're not coming in here," Jacob reiterated once more.

"Okay Jacob, I understand." I started. "Please let Charlie know that Renee is missing, Joshie is with DCFS, which by the way, is now looking into Charlie for child neglect. In the aspect that he knowingly left minors in the custody of a psycho who was in the middle of an 'episode,' and that he left this..." I paused long enough to bring the gun that I had retrieved from Emmett's glove box, out of the waistband of my jeans, and point it lazily at Jacob. "At the house." I finished.

"Charlie!" Jacob hollered frantically.

Charlie appeared in the hall only seconds later. His jaw dropped when he saw me with his gun pointed towards Jake. "Isabella Marie Swan, what in the hell are you doing?"

I clucked my tongue, and I new my face was a mix of annoyance and smugness. I felt a slightly manic giggle bubble up and out. "Don't worry Charlie." I cooed. "It's not loaded. Thank goodness Renee is half retarded and never paid attention when you took us to the shooting range. I don't know where I got my brains from, I know it wasn't from you two dumb-asses-"

"Enough child, your ass is grounded as soon as I get this all under control." Charlie said, attempting to take back his parental status.

"No, that is where you are wrong Charlie. You don't get to choose when to be a parent, you abandoned your responsibilities, and in the same sweep your privileges. I won't be there when the smoke clears. I will not be left to try to secure a balance between a psycho and a coward.

You are very lucky that you are not explaining to your deputy why my brain matter is scattered across the bathroom wall. You are getting off easy Charlie. I'll never forget any of this.

I will be at the Cullen's indefinitely, or until I tell you otherwise. You can let me know how all of this turns out. I'm done with it." With that I placed the revolver in his hand.

I turned and walked straight to Emmett's jeep. I climbed into the passenger seat, closed the door, and stared out the windshield, waiting for the others to join me.

I vaguely noticed Em sitting next to me, his knuckles squeezing the steering wheel tightly. He breathed out a sigh and dropped his hands to his lap, turning his head to glance at me. "Bells, are you o-"

"Just drive Em, just drive." I interrupted, while shaking my head, signaling I wasn't ready yet.

I exited the vehicle quickly, once we pulled up to the Cullen's, and waited for the others. Rosalie was the first to approach. "Bella, do you want to talk about...everything?" she asked.

"No, right now I want access to several cigarettes. I want a cherry coke with rum, a big one, and music. Loud music." I said to no one in particular, grabbing my mp3 player from my bag and making my way to the patio on the side of the house.

Edward jogged up to me. "Here," he said, placing his pack of cigarettes in my hand.

"Thank you," I said. "Um, can you make sure it takes a little while for everyone to make that drink? I need a few minutes." He could see the pleading in my eyes.

"Of course," he said, squeezing my hand in reassurance.

I finally made it to the patio, dug through my bag and found my lighter. The first strains of music made it through my ear buds as I pulled a long drag from one of Edward's cigarettes.

I closed my eyes, and my tears slowly fell as my voice started singing the low chords of Smile Empty Soul.

_Too many weeds in the flowers, __  
__Too many pills in the pharmacies now,__  
__Too many bugs in the shower,__  
__There's too much shit in the air we breathe now..._

I could feel my voice become slightly stronger as I paced the deck bobbing my head to the beat.

_There's too much anger inside me,__  
__There's too much scarring when I bleed,__  
__There's too much therapy I need, __  
__There is no God that I have seen..._

I took another long pull of smoke into my lungs and I felt my tense muscles start to loosen. I let the song embody me...

_There's too much doubt in my mom's words,__  
__There's too much fear in the way she see's life, __  
__I wonder if I'm just like her,__  
__I wonder if I can make myself right..._

I found it so amazing that these words felt so right falling from my lips. I flicked the now wasted cigarette into the yard as I placed my forearms on the railing, giving my body the strength and leverage to force the song out from the pit of my stomach.

_There's too much anger inside me,__  
__There's too much scarring when I bleed,__  
__There's too much therapy I need,__  
__There is no God that I have seen..._

My tears were falling in earnest, but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them from my face. I needed this release.

_You try to help, you listen well,__  
__You cannot change the way I see..._

Never again would I subject myself to this. Never again would I have to. That realization gave me so much relief, but not enough. I found myself nearly screaming the end of the song as sobs nearly threatened to take over. I was relieved, yes, but I was also so, so broken.

_There's too much anger inside me,__  
__There's too much scarring when I bleed,__  
__There's too much therapy I need,__  
__There is no God that I have seen..._

I nearly clapsed from all the emotions I felt coursing through me. Instead I was spun around and a warm body engulfed mine, holding me upright.

"You're okay, Bella, you are going to be just fine," his velvety voice soothed.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together, and that ever present hum progressed to a full on electrical fire within me, and for the first time, in a long time, I felt alive.

My breathing returned to normal, and the sobs had dissipated. I placed my hands on Edward's biceps to steady myself. Once I was standing on my own I gave him a small smile of thanks.

I looked around at my audience.

"Sorry guys, sometimes singing helps. A lot," I justified.

"Your voice is amazing," Jasper reassured.

Alice came forward and placed a very tall glass of Cherry Coke and rum, heavy on the rum, in my hand.

"Okay, I guess talking would be good," I admitted, taking a seat in a love seat on the patio, pulling Edward down with me, and signaling for the others to sit as well.

I took three long pulls from my drink, and took out a new cigarette. I handed the pack back to Edward, who grabbed one as well. Before I could grab my lighter, Edward was offering me a light. I raised an eyebrow, but cupped my hands around anyway, allowing him to do so.

After he lit his he shrugged. "I light all my bitches cigarettes," he said with his signature crooked smile.

I laughed, rolling my eyes at him and nudging him with my shoulder.

I smoked for a minute before finding the courage to start.

"The other morning I entered the bathroom to get ready for school. I didn't see Renee before I smelled the cigarette smoke. She asked if I loved her or Charlie more, and I wouldn't answer. She pulled the gun and asked again, and I admitted Charlie. She shot twelve times, never producing a bullet, before I took the gun and told her next time to make sure she had bullets. That's pretty much the gist of it." I shrugged.

"Damn," Emmett sighed.

"Yeah, the scarry part is, I wasn't really scared, at all. It's more like I was numb to it. Like at least if she managed to kill me, I wouldn't have to continue going through all the mental and emotional strain my parents have put me through in all these years passed. I can't go back. I won't. I'd run away first," I admitted.

Edward's right hand was weaved through my hair, his left on my knee. "Bella, you are safe now, you don't have to go back ever," he breathed in my ear.

I cleared my throat. "You guys ready to go inside? It's getting chilly."

The six of us made our way to the three sofas that made a 'U' shape in the family room. We talked and joked a little more until we were all falling asleep. I vaguely realized where I was as my eyes were closing, but was too tired to fix the situation.

I slowly started to wake, I heard a little scuffling, and realized some of the others were awake.

As I opened my eyes, my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch directly in font of me, with Rosalie and Alice perched in their laps. They were all staring intensely at me with small smiles on their lips. Then I took in my sleeping arrangements.

The first thing I noticed was an arm wrapped tightly around my torso, and long fingers cupping my right breast over my black tank top.

Our legs were intertwined, and I noticed I was sporting tiny red and black plaid sleepshorts, that matched perfectly to Edward's pajama pants, and black wife beater.

I felt his lips press under my ear and saw bronze in my peripheral vision. "Mmm, Bella," he murmured, pressing another kiss to the nape of my neck.

My eyes went wide and my onlookers stifled giggles.

Then he shifted a little, and I felt the very obvious body part snuggled tightly against the small of my back. I stiffened.

_  
__Wow..._my mind shouted.

_Shut it._ I told myself.

_Don't be hasty, that thing is huge! _

_Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!! _ I was beginning to wonder if I got this talking to myself thing from my crazy mother.

I was afraid to move so I stayed put and mouthed a small 'help' to my friends.

They smiled and shook their heads 'no.' Alice pointed back and forth between me and Edward, before mouthing 'too cute.' I glared at her furiously, and they took that as their cue to leave me to contemplate my next move.

_Traitors!!!_

I didn't have to contemplate long. I felt Edward start to stir and then stiffen. "Bella?" he asked.

I 'hmmed.' He removed his hand and his legs. "Sorry," he said, looking sheepish. "I didn't snore did I?" he asked.

"Nope, no snoring..." I teased.

"What did I do?" he yawned.

"Well, other than feeling me up and holding me down, from the few minutes I've been awake you've said my name three times and kissed my neck at least ten." I smiled mischievously.

"No way," he said.

"I'd say there was more before I woke, because we had a pleased audience that filed out soon after I opened my eyes."

"Ungh," he groaned.

"I'm sure they will fill us in," I told him, and removed myself and the pressure off his manly parts, trying in vain to pretend that I didn't notice.

He smirked. I blushed.

Of course.

_He definitely noticed..._

I decided I should get dressed for school before running into Dr. and Mrs. Cullen in my barely there pajamas. It was embarrassing enough that everyone else had saw them. So I hurried away to change.

Alice pulled me into her room and told me I could get ready in there, since the spare room hadn't been made up yet and she had just tossed my bags in with her stuff. "Bella, will you please let me dress you today?" she begged.

"No Alice, but if we do something this weekend maybe I'll let you. I do have some sense of style you know, I just never have the funds, nor the right opportunity to dress for occasion," I defended.

"Eep!" she squealed. "There's a teen dance club in Port Angeles and everyone has agreed to go this weekend, except you and Edward. I think he'll go if you do."

I conceded, though I'm not very good at dancing, I still like to try. I slipped on some jeans, a Smile Empty Soul band t-shirt, my green chucks, and called it good. Alice had left a few moments earlier saying she'd meet me in the breakfast nook. I opened the door and followed the smell of coffee.

I grabbed a cup of coffee, and decided to take it black, considering I was still pretty dead, even if last night was the best three hours of sleep I ever had. Though I'm not letting Edward take the glory for it. I think it was the mere fact that I was held while I slept, comforted, safe.

Before I could get the coffee cool enough for my first sip, I felt the cup being pulled from my hand. I let out a small primal growl, and looked for the thief. "Sorry, I'm a little predatory with morning coffee." I pouted.

My pout was met with a raised eyebrow, and smile from one Dr. Carlisle Cullen. "I don't think a fourteen year old should be consuming it, the caffeine is bad for your heart," he said.

"I can understand not letting the A.D.D. Thumbalina having some, but I'm generally dead weight in the morning without that hot goodness you have right there, please?" Another pout.

Orange juice, he replaced it with orange juice. "Fine, I'm sure my teeth thank you, and I'm sure somewhere in the next few hours I'll be ready to apologize for being disrespectful..."

I glanced at the calendar on the wall and felt a smile spread across my face. "Dr. Cullen, what are your rules for a fifteen year old consuming coffee?" September 13th, my birthday.

Carlisle's face seemed confused, but he just shrugged. "The same as it is for a fourteen year old. Why do you ask? Something you'd like to share, Bella?" A small smile graced his lips.

I was caught. "No, not at all," I tried to say nonchalantly. By this time the whole room was interested in the conversation.

"When is your birthday, Bella?" Jasper asked. I knew I couldn't lie to him.

"September 13th." I conceded.

A squeal erupted from the damn pixie, and about ruptured my eardrums. "Oh my God, we have to celebrate!" I could tell she had thrown herself into party mode.

"Alice, please how, about we just celebrate while we're dancing Saturday?" I hoped it could be that easy.

She plopped into Jasper's lap at the breakfast table. "Okay, but we're going to take you out to dinner before, and Rose and I are taking you shopping Friday night for your birthday outfit." I foolishly thought it was fair.

"Okay sounds good, because admittedly, I have nothing to wear."

I managed to make it through school the rest of the week without much incident. Charlie had stopped by the school Thursday to give me my birthday presents. He apologized for it being a day late, he had apparently been in Seattle all day Wednesday getting Renee settled into the hospital's accommodations.

My parents gave me a digital camera and a scrapbook. I don't usually like accepting gifts, but I was pretty excited to have the camera, and wanted to be able to document my friends and I having a good time this weekend. Today was Friday and was starting to get excited, I've never really had friends to go shopping with, so this was bound to be an interesting experience.

After school Alice, Rosalie, and I piled into the BMW, while the boys departed in the Jeep. "Okay Bella, let's brainstorm. I think you'd look best in maybe a midnight blue. You don't have enough boobs to fill out strapless, and you are wearing heels, I don't want any arguments on that one." Alice was staring at me, waiting for me to protest. I just stared back.

"Are you done?" I asked, pulling a sketch out of my backpack. "You get red and black, that's it." I told her, when as I was handing her the sketch.

"The skirt and top are to be black, the corset red and black plaid. We'll need to hit Hot Topic, and Victoria's Secret, for socks, arm-socks, lingerie, garters and accessories. I already have the converse stiletto boots, and clutch, any questions?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alice just shook her head 'no' with a surprised, but gleeful look on her face. "This is an awesome sketch Bella, but do you really think we're going to be able to find a bust to thigh plaid corset?" she asked skeptically.

"Nope, we're going to have to make it, I know you have the equipment and skills, we just have to find the fabric. The skirt and halter should be easy." I shrugged.

"Eep!?!?! Bella, this is so awesome," she squealed.

We made our way through the mall in no time. What took the longest was Victoria's Secret. Alice said she had a 'feeling' I'd be needing at least a few sets, and maybe some more playful pajamas. I had to remind Alice that I'm only fifteen and not yet desperate enough to work the streets.

I left with five bra and panty sets, one negligee, two tank and short sleep-sets, and of course my garter belt. We made it back to the Cullen's around ten, and set to work.

Saturday started out with the girls and boys on separate sides of the Cullen mini-mansion. Music was pouring throughout. We had plans to eat at seven in Port Angeles.

Filing out of Alice's bedroom at six fifteen we couldn't help our victory dance down the hallway. We were pouring with pride, from finishing our outfits. Kanye West's 'Gold Digger' was streaming after us. We turned toward the stairs, and took in the view in front of us.

There at the bottom of the wide staircase were Edward, Jasper, and Emmett still trying to pick their mouths off the floor. Standing in the back of the room were Carlisle and Esme, trying to suppress their laughter to the boys reaction to us.

We danced our way down the stairs, before letting our giggles out a little.

Rosalie had picked a strapless plunge sweetheart neckline dress, with links holding it together between her chest. The dress is red with a black waist corset. It was higher in the front and had a black wrap underlay.

Alice was wearing a lime green cap sleeve wrap shirt that showed patches of skin. She was also wearing black leggings ripped and torn throughout, that hit mid calf. She finished with lime green peep-toes.

I, however, had my sketch created to a T. Haltered bikini shaped top, a red and black plaid corset from the bottom of my chest, down over my hips and ending just above my ass. Then a black tutu mini spilling out the bottom. My garter straps were attached to black and red leggings reminiscent of tube socks, and black and red thigh-high Chuck Taylor stiletto boots. Black arm-socks. Cherry necklace. Awesome.

The guys were dressed to impress. Jasper had on black snakeskin boots, boot-cut jeans, white button up with sleeves rolled up over his elbows, with a sage vest over the top, finished off with a black pin-stripped fedora. Emmett had some intricately torn jeans, black beater and red short sleeve button up left open.

Edward was definitely drool worthy in his black sexpender pants, combat boots, black button up with the sleeves rolled to mid forearm, and a black and red plaid tie hanging loosely from his neck. I assume a certain pixie is responsible for that.

"Bella, you look amazing, ready to go celebrate your birthday?" Edward asked me, placing his hand at the small of my back. I shot Alice a panicked glance, but she only mouthed, '..'

"Yeah, I'd say I'm ready. Esme would you mind taking some pictures of us?" I asked, pulling my new camera out of my clutch.

"Sure thing dear," she said. After some pictures of us, and me snapping a couple of Carlisle and Esme, we headed out to Port Angeles to Bella Italia, my favorite restaurant.

The hostess and wait staff just gaped at us. We were kind of punked out for a formal restaurant, but we didn't care. We made our way to the club 'Eclipse' around eight o'clock, and we were allowed entrance instantly.

I think the bouncers were feeling kind of pervy checking us girls out, being as we're obviously underage, but we didn't mind. As soon as we entered Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl' started and Rosalie and Alice automatically made a Bella sandwich in the middle of the dance floor.

While grinding and staring directly at the boys, I took Rose's nod as a cue, leaned in and put a chaste kiss on her lips, while reaching back and grabbing the back of Alice's thigh, so I could better grind with her.

At which point all three guys were forced to adjust themselves. We couldn't contain our laughter, so we separated and made our way to them.

"May I have this dance?" I felt Edward's breath at the nape of my neck as his hands settled on my hips. I couldn't help but to lean back into him. I nodded and he led me back to the dance floor.

'I Wanna Fuck You' by Akon started playing, and Edward resumed his position behind me, grinding into my ass. I couldn't help but to let all my past frustration with him out, and let myself feel the music. He started singing in my ear.

_"I see you windin' and grindin' up on that pole, I know you see me lookin at you and you already know, I wanna fuck you, you already know, I wanna fuck you, you already know, girl."_

I couldn't help myself, I turned around, grabbed the sides of his shirt and dropped to the floor. I swayed back and forth grinding on the way back up keeping eye contact the entire time. He swallowed noticeably, but continued to grind with me.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked.

"You wanna fuck me?" I retorted, with a raised eyebrow. I believe he blushed.

"I wouldn't just fuck you Bella, you deserve better than that." He said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear and leaning in.

"How about getting us some drinks, Edward?" I jumped, as did Edward, too wrapped up in our moment to notice Alice sneak up.

"Sure," he said, I believe laced with annoyance, especially seems I also heard him mutter, 'Cock-blocked by the evil pixie yet again,' as he walked away.

"Care to explain why you and Edward were vertically fucking, before the sweet kiss scene I just interrupted?" Alice asked, while bouncing, and barely containing the huge smirk attempting to grace her face.

"Caught in the moment?" I tried to get out innocently.

"You are so full of shit," she said.

We heard a bunch of girls giggle and figured that could only mean one thing. They were checking out our guys.

_Our guys? Christ Bella, get it together! _

We turned to see Emmett jump down from the DJ's stage. He emptied the dance floor. Jasper and Edward joined him as Rosalie, Alice and I stepped just inside of the circle in front of them to watch.

'Ice Ice Baby' started playing, and the guys started their routine, Edward in the middle. The girls were swooning, that is until we glared and took a threatening step towards them.

The guys were staring at us the entire time. The song may have been ridiculous, but it doesn't change what the sight before me, was doing to my lady parts. Alice and Rose had the same hungry face I was wearing, and somewhere in my mind, I realized that I have no claim to Edward.

So when they finished, I stayed put while Rose and Alice went to their men. I wanted to give him the choice of whether or not he wanted my company. Girls started to descend on him, but by my surprise he made his way to me.

"That was..." I started.

"Ridiculous," he ended, looking at me sheepishly.

"The song maybe, but I was going to say...hot," I corrected.

"Really?" he asked.

"Definitely," I verified.

At that point I saw Rosalie hop up to the stage with Alice. They signaled for me to join them and I automatically knew what they were up to. Alice grabbed the microphone.

"Excuse me, I believe we've started a showdown. Why don't you boys take our positions here to watch, this spot has the best view." I told Edward and headed to the middle of the dance floor. I was flanked by Rose and Alice, who handed me the microphone. Joan Jett's 'I Love Rock and Roll' started playing.

"This is going to be good!" I heard Emmett boom.

We started swaying and clapping before I started singing.

_"I saw him standing there by the record machine. I knew he must have been about fifteen_ (ok i changed it), _the beat was going strong, playing my favorite song, and I could tell it wouldn't be long 'til he was with me, yeah me..." ___

He quirked an eyebrow.

I couldn't help myself, I sauntered up and grabbed him by the tie.

_"He smiled so I got up and asked for his name. That doesn't matter, he said cause it's all the same. I said can I take ya home, where we can be alone_? (he nodded) _and next we were movin' on."_

I went back with the girls, but never took my eyes off Edward. The song ended and I made my way over to him.

"Wow...that was...." he led.

I grabbed his shirt so I could balance on my toes and leaned up to his height.

"Hot," I breathed in his ear. He nodded and gulped.

"Very hot," he whispered, placing his hands at my waist and staring me in the eyes.

"Man Bells! I didn't know you had it in you!" Emmett boomed beside us.

"Damn it Emmett, you're like a giant cock-blocking robot, developed by some secret government facility," Edward stuttered out in a growl.

I snorted a little and laughed, as he retreated to get us some drinks.

_Ha ha, Somebody watched Zombieland!!!_

We enjoyed our refreshments for a moment, until DHT's 'Listen to Your Heart' came on.

"Love this techno version," I said dancing around. Edward shot everyone warning glances.

"Would you like to dance, Bella?" he asked with a smile.

"Of course," I replied.

We couldn't help but laugh at each other as we danced around like fools, on crack.

Edward grabbed ahold of me as the slower chorus took over. He placed his right thigh between my own and held me close as we swayed. Running his hands up my sides and over my arms, collar bone, before settling on my neck as the music picked up.

We were losing ourselves to each other, and we didn't mind one bit. The music picked up again, but Edward slowed slightly. Still cradling my neck, he leaned me back slightly, ask he made eye contact. Searching for hesitation, but he found none. His lips met mine chastely at first. We both let out sighs.

He moved back in deepening the kiss as our breathing picked up. His tongue traced my bottom lip, and I granted him access. We kissed until the song ended. He placed his forehead to mine. "Bella," he sighed.

I nudged his head with mine as I placed my arms around his neck, and wound my fingers into his hair. He looked at me, before I murmured 'Edward' and took his lips once again. We heard some hoots and hollers, so we broke apart. There on each side of the dance floor, were Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett, giving us their approval.

Smile's 'Mr. Wonderful' started. "One more?" I asked holding my hand out to him.

"As many as you'd like," he said breathlessly.

We finished our dance and I excused myself to use the restroom. I couldn't help the smile plastered to my face. My fingertips traced my lips, that were still tingling from the kiss that Edward left just minutes before.

_He kissed me. Best birthday EVER!!!_

I washed my hands and made my way down the corridor. I could faintly hear 'Addicted' by Saving Abel playing. I couldn't wait to get back to the group. I was ecstatic.

I turned to enter back into the main floor and two things happened simultaneously.

I made eye contact with Edward, who was standing clear on the other side of the club. His smile faltered and I didn't know why until a hand circle around to cover my mouth.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and before I had time to realize what was happening, I was drug out the back door.

_What the FUCK! NO! This is not fucking happening!_

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N:**

**Chapter 3: Asphyxiated Playlist**

**  
1. Therapy- Smile Empty Soul**

**2. GoldDigger- Kanye West**

**3. I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry**

**4. I Wanna Fuck You- Akon**

**5. Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice**

**6. I Love Rock and Roll- Joan Jett**

**7. Listen to Your Heart- DHT**

**8. Mr. Wonderful- **

**9. Addicted- Saving Abel**

Reviews are more than welcome.

**I hope you continue reading.**


	5. Chapter 4: Dead Man

**I don't own 'The Twilight Saga' though if Rob would like to chill for a day, I'd be cool with that. **

**Warning: This chapter contains violence, and some sexual assault. Please stick to the rating and it's suggested audience.**

**Feel free to cuss me out in reviews, though I don't promise that I won't cuss back.**

**Enjoy.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~  
**

Chapter 4: Dead Man

**BPOV****  
**

_"A Dead Man Bleeds a Country Song"___

_This war between two lovers,__  
__Love and war is much the same,__  
__But the love has died long ago,__  
__And the war is not the game,__  
__It's solitaire now,__  
__Only one placing the bets,__  
__The young man takes his bow,__  
__And the ever after never sets,___

_The young girl sits and sews,__  
__And the young man sits and reads,__  
__They gave their lives long ago,__  
__And now a dead man bleeds,___

_He's died long ago,__  
__No feelings left he knows,__  
__All he can do is smile,__  
__And pretend not to let her go,__  
__Whiskey glass in his hand,__  
__Two tickets in hers for the show,__  
__Seems he's lost his wedding band,__  
__And hers is just for show,___

_The young girl sits and sews,__  
__And the young man sits and reads,__  
__They gave their lives long ago,__  
__And now a dead man bleeds,___

_He tells her that he hates her,__  
__And wishes she were gone,__  
__Tells her he ain't leavin',__  
__And turns the T.V. on,__  
__Turns over the table,__  
__And hopes it did her harm...__  
__Well she called the cops,__  
__And said fellas take him in,__  
__He tried to hurt me once again,__  
__And I don't want to be with him...___

_The young girl sits and sews,__  
__And the young man sits and reads,__  
__They gave their lives long ago,__  
__And now a dead man bleeds....___

_And now a dead man...bleeds.___

I started fighting against his hold, trying to get as much leverage with my heels, to throw my body enough to break his grasp. It was no use, he had me pulled me into the abandoned warehouse before I could accomplish anything useful. He roughly threw me onto a desk sized table.

He quickly slammed his hand over my mouth again doubling to gag and pin my head to the wall. It hurt, and I realized he probably gave me a concussion considering the way my vision was blurring.

I took use of my sense of sight to gather every feature I could see on him. He had long blonde hair, gathered into a ponytail at his neck. He was roughly 6'1'', maybe 180 pounds. Lean, but rather built. Dark hallow eyes, all in all, kind of grungy.

"You're going to keep your mouth shut or I'll kill you, you understand?" he asked. I nodded, and I could see the silent tears that had escaped me coat his hand. He let go of my face and backed away a second. He took in my appearance, and I could tell he was physically excited.

That's when it hit me. He intended to rape me. "Please, don't touch me, please!" I pleaded.

_Think Bella! How many conversations did Charlie have with you about attackers and such?_

I noted the exits around the room. There was the one we entered, and one on the side of the room to my right, which I decided was a quick way to the club's parking lot.

I had a feeling though, that I wouldn't get a distraction in time. He had a hungry look on his face. His hands lowered to his pants, as he started to undo them. I scurried as far back on the table as I could get. My tears turning into sobs. He gave me a smirk.

It wasn't like Edward's smirk that I knew and loved. This look was dark, menacing, evil.

"Don't worry this will be over in no time," he said.

He grabbed me behind the knees and pulled me roughly to the edge of the table. That's where my fight or flight instinct kicked in.

I started to swing my fists at him, and squirming as best as I could, screaming as loud as I could, that is until I felt the worst pain shoot across my face. He smacked me hard enough that I was seeing spots.

At that moment, I fought with rationalizing letting him do what he wanted, with hopes that once he was finished he would leave me alone, or to fight to the death.

I sided with the latter.

I gritted my teeth and glared at him. He pushed my skirt up and let out a low whistle.

"Dirty Bitch, ready for me with this lingerie," he hissed.

_Fucker! You wish this was all for you!_

I clutched my fists tight enough, I thought the bones would break through the skin.

Right then he made his ultimate mistake. He leaned back to take in the view creating just enough space for me to retaliate.

Before I could even think about what I was doing, I fell back onto my forearms for balance and leverage.

At the same moment, I kicked my leg up high and stomped my heel into his face.

My inner badass screamed _Take that, Bitch!_ as blood shot out of his nose.

In the same moment, I heard a door swing open.

"James, did you get one?" the voice called out from the door I had just moments ago been pulled through.

_Oh, thank God!!! Run, Bella, NOW!!!_ My mind shouted at me.

I didn't even think, I jumped down grabbing my purse that had ended up on the floor, and ran toward the side door.

As I ripped the door open I heard him yell, "Get her."

I bolted and started screaming hoping to discourage them, and attract attention at the same time. I fumbled with my purse trying to get a hold of my phone.

Fourteen missed calls.

Emmett's face lit the screen and I abruptly opened the phone.

"Parking lot, parking lot," I started hollering, I round the side of the club as Emmett rounded the other with Alice right behind him.

I heard the footfalls behind me stop, and a 'Forget her, run!' shoot out from James' buddy. I made it a few more feet before I figured I was safe. I felt my knees buckle and I fell to the ground.

I could vaguely make out voices screaming chorus' of 'Bella.' I heard Emmett's voice on the phone telling Edward to bring the others to the parking lot. I felt his arms pick me up and sit me on what I am assuming was the hood of the BMW.

It didn't help I just slid back down to the ground and wound into a ball. I heard chanting 'Edward, Edward, Edward' and realized somewhere in my mind, that it was my own voice.

**EPOV**

I smiled as I watched Bella exiting the corridor, waiting for her to come back to me. My smile was short lived though as I watched her get grabbed from behind, and dragged off. I knew it would take forever to make my way through the mass of people so I went through the front door.

I grabbed my phone and called Emmett, and I told him to gather Jasper and the girls and meet me there.

Emmett made his way out the doors in one minute flat. The rest trailing after him. They were freaking out as I was frantically trying to convey to them what happened and get on my way.

Em, and Alice went one direction, Rose and Jasper the other, and I took off like a bat out of hell toward the back of the club. We were all trying to call Bella, but there was no answer. It was about 5 minutes, though it felt more like 5 years when my phone rang.

It was Emmett, and he told me to meet him in the parking lot, he found Bella and it was bad.

I rounded the corner in time to watch Bella slide from the BMW to the ground. She looked...catatonic.

_No, no Bella! I'm so sorry!_

I raced as fast as I could over to her. Alice was knelt in front of her, trying to get her to look at her. I waited patiently, even though I could hear Bella chanting my name under her breath.

That's when I heard Alice gasp.

"What? What is it, Alice?" I pleaded.

"She's bleeding." Alice said. I heard Alice sob, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"What's wrong? Where is she hurt?" I asked trying to get a handle on the situation.

"There's so much blood, I don't know where it's all coming from," Alice stuttered out.

Alice took a deep breath, leaned back, and looked at me. 'Edward,' she said with a sob.

I glanced over her shoulder. _Fuck, that's a lot of blood._ I lost it, I know I let out a long stream of expletives, and felt a stinging pain go up my arm. I soon realized I punched the side of the club. I grabbed my hair in my hands as I slid down the wall to try to reign back my anger.

"Edward she needs you," Rose said, as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I scrapped myself up off the concrete, and grabbed Bella gently off the ground.

I signaled Em, and Jasper. They took off to do a sweep to see if they couldn't find the guy.

I sat in the back seat of the BMW with Bella perched in my lap. I brushed her hair with my fingers as she sobbed into my neck.

I whispered that everything would be okay, even though I knew this would leave a huge mark on her forever. The guys came back after twenty minutes, saying there were no signs of him.

"What should we do now?" Emmett asked, the question we were all silently thinking.

"I'll call dad, he'll tell us what should be done," Alice said, retrieving her phone from her purse.

Bella stiffened. I wasn't sure what was wrong until she jumped up in my arms.

"Alice, no!" Bella practically yelled, frantically grabbing the phone out of my sister's hand.

We all looked at Bella expectantly, especially since she had broke free of her traumatized state-of-mind.

"Bella, you probably need to go to the hospital and get checked out, and we'll have to notify the cops, so they can find who did this to you," I said trying to rationalize the impending call to my father.

Then it clicked. The cops. Charlie. She didn't want him to know.

"Edward, if my father finds out a series of things will happen.

One, I will have to go through endless questioning, everything will get dragged out, and if they find this James guy, I will be forced to relive everything repeatedly through court.

Two, my father will remove me from your parents house, and possibly not let me see any of you again, that's if he even lets me out to begin with.

Three, my mom will twist everything inside and out, she will say I wasn't attacked, just trying to cover up the fact that I am a slut, who willingly went with a strange man. They already think I am a whore, based on the the history of my two sisters.

She won't just say it to me though, she will tell the whole town, and they will believe her, and eventually my dad will believe her too," Bella concluded, still begging me with her eyes.

I realized in that moment that: One- Everything she said was absolutely correct, and two- I wouldn't and couldn't deny anything that she asks of me.

I nodded in agreement and she sank into my lap, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing my face several times before pulling me into a tight hug.

"Okay, but Bella, we are going to have to tell Carlisle, he's going to have to examine you, and do some tests. I'll talk to him when we get home, so he knows exactly why you don't want to involve the hospital or police, okay?" I asked.

She nodded into my neck.

"Bella, you're bleeding, a lot. We need to figure out where you are hurt," I told her.

Bella glanced down, just now noticing the blood on her boot.

"That's not my blood," she said very low and eerily.

"What do you mean, that's not your blood?" Alice piped in.

"I mean stiletto boots are good for more than elongating the legs," Bella smirked.

"Nice," Rose high-fived.

"Bella, you have a lot of blood streaming down your leg too," I told her.

She stood and lifted her skirt at the side of her right thigh. There on her pale skin was a pretty deep gash about four inches long, spilling the precious crimson of her body.

"Fuck, that hurts! Why'd you have to tell me. I probably wouldn't have noticed through all the adrenaline," she said pouting.

"Yeah, well, you were about to notice, you bleed on my upholstery, I'll kill you!" Rose laughed.

"I have it covered," I said holding up Em's outer shirt he had shed earlier, now drenched in blood.

"The smell is making me nauseous. My head hurts. Right here," Bella whined, pointing to an obvious goose-egg on the back of her skull.

"Thank God she hit her head, I was starting to wonder if her being out of it was injury, or if she is naturally this fucked up in the head," Jasper laughed.

"Probably a concussion," Emmett provided.

"You'd know," I murmured.

We pulled into the drive. Bella still securely perched in my lap, she was breathing shallow, but I knew she was still awake. I carried her up to my bedroom on the third floor and placed her in the center of my bed.

She refused to remove her hands from around my neck, so I signaled Alice to come sit with her.

"Bella, you have to let go so I can go talk to Carlisle. Alice won't leave your side. Emmett is just outside the door. No one will get you, and I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" I asked hesitantly. I really didn't want to leave her side, but Carlisle really did need to check her out.

She nodded, but didn't let go, instead she pulled me closer and placed a hesitant kiss on the side of my mouth. I shifted so my lips fully met hers, and placed a firm, but gentle kiss there. I wanted to show her that nothing has changed. At least not for me.

"Don't be too long," she choked out, as a last tear trailed her pale cheek.

"I won't, beautiful," I said, smoothing the offending tear away, and giving her a small smile.

I don't know if it is possible for a person's heart to mend and break at the same time, but I'm pretty sure mine did. I made my way to Carlisle's second story office, I knew he was there considering the door was mostly closed and the light on.

I knocked lightly.

"Come in," he said absentmindedly.

I entered and closed the door.

"Did you guys have fun tonight?" he asked before I could turn around, but as soon as I did, his smile faltered and turned in to a look of concern.

"Edward?" he asked hesitantly.

I sighed and fell in to one of the chairs, fisting my hair in my left hand, before my right hand decided to join in.

"For awhile, the night was perfect," I started, leaning back to look at him.

"Care to elaborate?" he asked, slightly impatiently, leaning back in his chair, and crossing his hands in his lap.

"We danced, sang, it was fun. I kissed, Bella. We're together now. Well, hopefully we still are," I grimaced, a little unsure of how she feels about that, after everything.

"What did you do?" my father-figure asked skeptically.

"Me, nothing," I stated, shaking my head.

"Dad, something very terrible happened, and I need you to stay calm so I can explain everything." I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose. A habit I picked up when angry, embarrassed, etc.

_I wonder where I got that from...FOCUS!!_

He nodded, as he straightened up in his chair, preparing himself for the worst. "Edward, please don't make me wait any longer. You know I love all of you as my children, the Hale kids, and Bella included, you're killing me here," he said, impatiently pinching his nose.

_Ahh, yes. That's where._

I straightened up so I could get this out the best I could without breaking in two.

"Bella, was in the restroom on the other side of the club, there was a mass of people in there, but I saw her come out in time to be grabbed from behind, by a man, and dragged out of the back entrance," I managed to get out, before being interrupted.

"I'm assuming she's here, because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't come home without her," he stated. I nodded.

"I exited the front of the club, met the others, and we took off to find her." A sob broke through my voice and I felt a hot tear hit my cheek.

"He was going to rape her, she fought, then he was interrupted and she ran. She got to her phone as Emmett called, told him to get to the parking lot. He got there the same time she did, and she crumpled."

"Is she injured?" Carlisle asked, obviously very concerned. I nodded.

"There was blood, all over her boot, but she said it wasn't hers. She kicked him in the face," we both smiled a little at that, knowing Bella was very capable of taking care of herself was comforting, though the thought of someone giving her a reason to have to, wasn't.

"She cut her leg on the steel table, when she jumped off and ran. I got it to stop bleeding and I bandaged it using the small first aid kit we had in the car, but it will need stitches," I assured him.

"I should get her to the hospital, and call her father."

I abruptly shook my head, and told him everything Bella had said on the situation. It took a little convincing to get Carlisle to back away from his doctor and father instincts, but he decided to agree with Bella's wishes.

"I'm going to have to make a quick trip to the hospital, let her wind down a little. Get her into some comfortable clothes, but bag what she wore tonight."

I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What, I may not call the cops, but I have connections. I might be a well respected doctor, but I'm not past payback and punishment, Edward." Carlisle admitted, with a sadistic smile.

I couldn't help but to laugh at him.

I exited the office the same time as Carlisle. We parted at the stairs where he went down and I traveled up. Once back to my room I asked Alice to retrieve Bella some comfortable clothes. I told Bella she'd be able to get comfortable, and Carlisle would be back shortly, to examine her, and stitch her up.

Alice strolled back in with a small bag, that I am assuming was the new change of clothes for Bella.

"Bella, I'm going to help you change sweetheart. Edward would you mind stepping out?" Alice asked, and I began to leave.

"No, please stay, Alice if you'd just start the zipper, I can get it on my own, I'd like a minute with Edward," she pleaded.

"You sure?" Alice asked, slightly hesitant, but Bella nodded, so she conceded.

"Bella, I probably should go, so that you can get comfy honey," I said, but she just shook her head no.

"Edward, everything I wore today, I wore for you to see."

I believe I gulped.

"I know we can't do anything, but I still wouldn't mind seeing your reaction. Would you mind me showing you?" she asked.

It took every ounce of me to say what I said next.

"Bella, as much as I would love to see what's under that dress, I don't think nows the time, you don't have to prove anything to me. I don't want anything that happens between us to be a reaction to the violence that happened tonight." I tried to rationalize with her.

"Edward, I desperately don't want to remember my birthday celebration as the day that I was attacked. Please, please just help me forget this. Please." She pleaded as tears flooded her eyes and threatened to escape. I couldn't stand to see her cry another tear.

"Okay, Bella." I said, but before I could let her expose herself to me I had to show her how much I truly cared for her. Not just her body, not just for what she wore, not just to forget.

I strode over to the bed, where she was perched in the middle, kneeling. I climbed up and crawled to her, before kneeling the same before her.

My hands grazed up from her elbows past her shoulders until they were cupping her upper throat below her ears. My thumbs gently pushed along her jaw to angle her chin up until my sage met cinnamon.

"Bella, just so you know, this is much more to me than forgetting." I rasped. My hands knitted into her silk mahogany tresses, as my lips desperately tried to convey how much she meant to me.

My tongue greedily asked permission, and was easily greeted with it. My right hand fell to the small of her back as I pulled her towards me, leaving no room between us. Her left hand flew to my hair pulling it roughly though she pushed me closer as her right hand fisted my shirt and pulled.

_Fuuuck...I think I love this girl. Love...fuck I _**_do_**_ love this girl!_

Bella groaned my name huskily, and it went straight to my dick.

_This isn't about sex, get your wits together man!_

We kissed awhile longer until I thought it would be safer if we were to move on now.

"Mmm...Bella, as nice as this is I think we need to stop, but if you'd still like to show me I have no problem with that," I said, hoping it was enough of a distraction.

"Edward, just so you know, I was hoping we'd do this soon anyways," she murmured huskily.

I groaned.

She released me with one last sensual kiss, before sliding off the end of the bed, turning to lean against the dresser.

As soon as I was sat on the edge of the bed she perched her left boot clad foot next to my right denim clad thigh, giving me a perfect peek beneath her skirt. Through my lusty haze I did happened to realize there wasn't blood on her leg anymore. Alice must have helped her clean up.

"Edward, do you think you could help me? I think the zipper is stuck."

If she wasn't an hour old victim, she would be in so much trouble. I slid my left hand from the inside of her ankle, up her calf, under her knee, ending high on the inside of her thigh.

I heard her breath hitch and I chanced a glance up to make sure it was in a good way. It definitely was.

I tugged the zipper and slowly lowered it down to her ankle. I placed my hand firmly under her calve and lifted gently. Bella leaned her forearms back on my dresser to balance herself, and I removed her boot.

She switched feet, but this time, she placed her stiletto heel on my shoulder, and the way her skirt hitched up, allowed me to see the top of her garter belt hung low on her hips. I took note that her lingerie had a tuxedo theme, the belt as a cummerbund, a bow tie on her thong.

I removed her other boot much the same.

I threw them across the room, not wanting the offending splattered boots near us any longer.

I slid off the bed and knelt in front of her. Thank goodness I thought to lock the door, because if my brother walked in he'd think I was proposing.

Instead, I placed her foot flat on my thigh, ghosting my hands up much like before, and proceeded to unhook the garter straps, then rolled her stockings down and off her foot. I repeated the process until her legs were fully exposed.

I stood, and Bella bit her lip, and I knew she wanted me to continue. I placed my hands on her shoulders, sliding them up and around to the back of her neck. I leaned in and kissed her and she snaked her arms around my back.

I untied her halter, pulling the little straps around front and let them drop. Never removing my lips from hers, my hands trailed down her sides. She slipped her hands around my neck, I moved mine to circle around to her back. Slowly, I started working the zipper down her back.

I moved my lips to kiss her jaw, throat, collar bone. I heard her start to whisper.

"I thought he was going to try to take what is yours from me. I didn't want his hands on me, I want you. Please don't leave me. I didn't mean to," she pleaded, as she frantically held me to her, sobs shaking her body.

I stopped kissing her abruptly, I let go of the dress that instantly fell to the floor, but I didn't take any notice. Instead I took her face in my hands, probably more roughly than I intended, but damn it, did she not get it? I locked my hands there, tilting her face so she had to look at me and me alone.

"Bella, it is meant to be me, will be me. I know you didn't ask for this. I would never leave you because of it. Bella, do you not see how much I care for you? Do you not want me still? I understand that you are traumatized and need time, but I'm yours if you're willing to be mine," I told her, searching deep in her eyes for her answer, but I wouldn't have to search long.

"I'm yours, Edward. Always yours, what he tried to take from me, yours," she said with a smile.

"And I am yours Bella. Always yours, my virginity, yours," I smiled back.

"You mean you've never?" she asked.

"Nope, all yours, that is when we're ready," I promised.

She nodded and took a step back. "Well?" she asked.

I removed the garter belt and stepped back to take another look at her.

"God, Bella," I said as I bit my lip. She noticed the gesture both on my face and in my pants.

"You like it?" she questioned.

I closed the gap, between us and kissed her hungrily. "Hot...mmm sexy....beautiful..." I breathed in her ear.

I pulled her flush to me, so she could feel the **entire **front of my body pressed against her. She let out a sexy groan of want that made me groan in return.

"Believe me now?" I asked huskily.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"You can touch me, Edward," she said placing my hands just below her ass on the back of her thighs.

Mindful of the bandage, housing the scar that would forever be a reminder, of this birthday gone wrong, I began to feel her. I ghosted my hands up over her ass, up her lower back, around to her sides to graze the sides of her breasts.

I slid my hands around to unclasp her bra. It fell to the floor along with the rest of her clothes. I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, dragging my hands back up her body only slowing once I reached the underside of her breasts.

"May I?" I asked into her ear.

"Yes...please," she said, before adding, "they're yours."

I took her mouth in mine as I grazed my palms up over her to cup both of her breasts in my hands. I'd swear they were made for me, they fit so perfectly.

I grazed my thumbs over her nipples and they puckered to the touch. I grazed them again, eliciting a loud moan from Bella. I kneaded them lovingly for a moment, before withdrawing my lips from hers.

_God, she's too beautiful._

"Magnificent," I said as I rested my head against hers.

"I think we need to stop for now, love. At least until otherwise cleared with the doctor," I sighed.

"Kay," she said tentatively. "I guess I better get dressed then, before Carlisle gets back," she said, but took my neck in her hands so she could lean up and kiss me one last time.

She grabbed the bag Alice had brought her and entered the bathroom. About five seconds later I heard her groan.

"Bella, what's wrong love?" I asked.

The bathroom door swung open, and Bella stepped out, still only in a thong. My knees nearly gave out. She was really testing our virginity status. There's only so much one guy can take.

"You told her comfort, she decided sexy," she said as she held up the lace negligee my sister provided her.

"There is no way in hell I am wearing this for your Dad to examine me," she said.

"Um no, definitely not. That however, is for me," she giggled as I tossed it into my dresser drawer.

I went to my closet and grabbed my football shirt from last year. "Here, wear this and I'll grab your black shorts."

I went to Bella's room, right next to mine and grabbed the tiny silky shorts. When I got back to my room she was gliding around with her back to me singing.

I couldn't help but to smile when I read MASEN-CULLEN across her back.

Mine. My mind shouted. Yes, mine indeed.

I continued to watch as she sang.

_There will never come a day, you will ever hear me say,__  
__That I want or need to be without you,__  
__I want to give my all, baby, just hold me, simply control me,__  
__Because your arms they keep away the loneliness,___

_When I look into your eyes then I realize,__  
__All I need is you in my life, all I need is you in my life,__  
__'Cause I never felt this way about lovin', no,__  
__Never felt so good, baby, Never felt this way about lovin',__  
__It feels so good...___

_Lately when I look into your eyes, __  
__Baby I fly, you're the only one I need in my life,__  
__Baby I just don't know how to describe,__  
__How lovely you make me feel inside, ___

_You give me butterflyz,__  
__Have me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,__  
__You give me butterflyz,__  
__Got me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,___

_It seemed like the likely thing, __  
__From the start you told me, yeah, I would be your queen, __  
__But never had I imagined such a feeling,__  
__Joy is what you bring, I want to give you everything, ___

_You give me butterflyz,__  
__Have me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,__  
__You give me butterflyz,__  
__Got me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,___

_You and I are destiny,__  
__I know that you were made for me,___

_I can't control it, It's driving me, __  
__Takin' over me and I,___

_You give me butterflyz,__  
__Have me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,__  
__You give me butterflyz,__  
__Got me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,___

_You give me butterflyz,__  
__Have me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz,__  
__You give me butterflyz,__  
__Got me flying so high in the sky,__  
__I can't control the butterflyz, Oh no, Oh no,___

_You give me something I just can't deny,__  
__Something that's so real,__  
__I just can't control the way I feel and I don't feel,___

_You give me something I just can't deny,__  
__Something that's so real,__  
__I just can't control the way I feel, __  
__Oh I never felt like this...__  
_

By the time she had neared the end of the song, I felt the tears welling in my eyes.

_When did you become such a pussy, Cullen?_ My mind asked me.

_When I fell in love with her..._ I told myself.

She turned and smiled as she pulled the buds out of her ears, she must have retrieved her mp3 player from her purse that had been tossed onto my bed.

"Sorry, like I said before, singing helps," she said as she blushed. She must have realized what she was singing. I just waved her off with a smile.

"It's no problem at all. You have a lovely voice, I very much enjoy listening to you," I told her.

"Voyeurism much, Cullen?" she teased.

"Maybe just a little," I told her, as I mimicked a 'little' with my thumb and forefinger.

I walked up to her and sank to my knees again. I placed her shorts next to me. I ghosted my hands up her legs, placing a soft kiss on the bandage housing her injury, continuing to her hips where I grasped the sides of her thong and brought it down her legs.

She assisted me in stepping out of it, then again by stepping into her shorts, which I then shimmied up her hips. I tried not to take notice in that part of her, but I couldn't help that my mind shouted at me.

_Dude...she's bare down there...nice!_ _Shut up._ I told myself.

I stood and kissed her lips. "Perfect," I said, "and comfy." She giggled. I took her clothes, folded them, and placed them into a large freezer type bag.

I laid with Bella on the bed and waited for Carlisle's return. Music was still streaming from the mp3 player that had been tossed haphazardly onto the bed. It shuffled from angst, to R&B, pop, classical, showing just how unique Bella really is.

"Do you think Carlisle and Esme will let me stay in here with you for awhile? I don't want to be alone at night. I have a tendency of having nightmares. I think I'd actually sleep sound if you were there," she said.

"Remember the night on the couch?" she asked. I nodded. Of course I remembered. That was the best sleep I have ever had. That was also when I realized my aversion to Bella, was actually my attraction to her.

"I should have had nightmares, after the gun incident, and being scared for Joshie, but those three hours were the most peaceful in my life. I felt comforted, and safe," she admitted. "I used to wake up abruptly, sometimes screaming, so if you hear that, especially after today, that is me and my nightmares," she warned.

"I think they will be okay with it. They trust me. They trust you too, Bella. They love you like you're their own," I assured her.

"Good, because I may never leave," she said smiling.

"I don't think they would mind. Emmett and Alice already accept you as a sister. I don't however, no sisterly vibes coming from me," I laughed, as did she. A quiet knock sounded at the door.

"It's open," I yelled out.

"You ready?" Carlisle asked, after popping his head in the door.

Bella sighed, but nodded, and I squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"Ready," we both said.

My mind was still focused on the song that was playing in the background though.

_Lose myself in your eyes,__  
__Choke my voice, say goodnight,__  
__As the world falls apart,___

_Fuck, I can't let this kill me, let go,__  
__I need some more time to fix this,___

_Here's a letter for you,__  
__But the words get confused,__  
__And the conversation dies,___

_Apologize for the past,__  
__Talk some shit, take it back,__  
__Are we cursed to this life?___

_Fuck, I can't let this kill me, let go,__  
__I need some more time to fix this problem,__  
__I need some more time to fix this problem,__  
__I need some more time to fix this..._

In the back of my mind I knew that Bella and I were meant to be together forever, but that didn't change the way I treated her in the past.

_I need some more time to fix this..._

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: **

**Playlists are suggestive listening, and can significantly effect your experience with the chapter…**

**  
Chapter 4: Dead Man Playlist**

**  
1. Crawling- Linkin Park**

**2. Body Crumbles- Dry Cell**

**3. Break Stuff- Limp Bizkit**

**4. Alicia Keys- Never Felt This Way/ Butterflies**

**5. Here's Your Letter- Blink 182**

**  
Reviews are more than welcome.**

**I hope you continue reading. **


	6. Chapter 5: Nightingale

**I think we all know I don't own 'The Twilight Saga.'**

Same blah blah blah…come stalk me on twitter…read the poems, listen to the music, etc.

**Enjoy.**

P.S. There's more lemon than lime this time. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ch. 5: Nightingale

_"Fallen Melody"_

She sings it in her sleep,  
Knows she can't part her clenching teeth,  
She'll never wake up in time,  
To recognize that she, she's still alive,

Singing through the night,  
Never knowing what she has left behind,  
She keeps his photograph,  
Under the pillow, where he used to lie,

'There are chords in the hearts,  
Of the most reckless,  
Which cannot be touched,  
Without emotion', [1]

She'll wake with a scream,  
Without ever knowing what this means,  
She won't care tonight,  
The night of the broken lullaby,

So the words grew faint,  
And all she recognized was her name,  
Cue the tympani,  
End the dramatic fallen melody,

Chords linger fluently...across her lips,

She can't be touched...  
Without emotion...

**CarlislePOV**

As I drove to the hospital, my mind worked back over everything Edward had told me tonight. It didn't stop there though, it also worked through everything that had happened to Bella since she stumbled into our lives mere weeks ago.

I was starting to contemplate whether or not she was truly safer with us, rather than with her father. Those thoughts quickly disappeared though when I remembered Edward telling me about what happened with her mother.

As a doctor, I understood the dynamics of mental illness, I knew that it wasn't something that could just be stopped, and that the person could not help what was going through their mind. That fact made the person that much more dangerous.

It was at that realization that no matter what Bella went through tonight, it could've happened still under the supervision of Charlie, and that much worse could happen within his household, than what would happen in mine.

It disgusted me that someone would put their hands on someone that way with them being unwilling, let alone a fifteen year old child. I knew that if I were to meet this guy, I would most likely be burying a body.

I felt this huge need to protect the girl. If I could adopt Bella, make sure she would never have to endure Renee's mental illness, nor Charlie's neglect ever again, I would in a heartbeat. I knew, however, that under no circumstances, would they give up their rights to the child. That didn't stop me from filing for temporary custody of her.

I presented my case to Charlie the day before stating that the agreement would allow me to cover her with my medical insurance, though she probably never need it considering she's living in my home and I can perform aid to most of her recurring injuries there at the house. Also it would allow me to take her on any out of state family vacations, etc.

He didn't like the fact though, that I had it written in there that any contact with the child would have to be with my consent. Which prevented both of them from being able to approach her at the school or elsewhere.

He agreed to sign, though, conceding that it was most likely best for Bella.

I wasn't too upset though, at the fact that I could not give yet another child the Cullen name, and in the same make Bella an honorary part of the family, because I was hoping one day that she wouldn't need an adoption to receive the name.

I knew it was too early for me to try marrying Edward off, but I couldn't help but to feel that he had found his match with Bella.

I pulled up to the hospital after about 25 minutes of driving, parking the Mercedes in my usual spot, reserved for Dr. Cullen, of course.

I made my way to my office, and pulled up Bella's medical file. I searched her shot records and found that her latest Tetanus shot had been this past May, so obviously she wouldn't need another.

I gathered everything I needed to do her stitches, and then referenced her file again. I decided to grab a few different forms of birth control. I didn't know how I was going to approach the subject, but with the way Bella and Edward had been circling each other these past couple of weeks, and the confirmation Edward gave of them marking the beginning of their physical relationship, I knew I needed to.

I grabbed a bottle of Ibuprofen, and placed it in my bag along with everything else. I printed off a fact sheet about 'which type of birth control is right for you?' and made my way back to the car.

I had been very lucky so far of not becoming a grandfather. Yes, someday I wouldn't mind it so much, and I would give every grandchild, expected or not, as much love and care as possible. I wanted my children and their significant others to make the best of their lives, though, and if that meant going through a couple awkward conversations, I was okay with that. All went well with Alice and Rosalie, as it did Emmett and Jasper, so I was hoping that I would have the same effect on Edward and Bella.

I walked through the front door, most the lights were off so I assumed everyone else was in bed, or at least in their respective rooms. I made my way to the third story, but paused before knocking on the door.

I could hear Edward and Bella, though I couldn't make out what they were saying. I felt like a child as I pressed my ear to the door. I heard Bella ask if I would be okay with her staying in Edward's room to sleep, to keep from having nightmares.

I contemplated that, assuming that hopefully she would settle on some type of birth control, I didn't think I would have much of a problem with it considering, Jasper stays with Alice, and Rose with Emmett, so I couldn't really be prejudice against their relationship without any real cause.

I smiled as Edward assured her that Esme and I trust them, and it widened as he told her how much we accept her in our family. I had to suppress a laugh though when he told her, that there were no sisterly vibes coming from him.

_Good guess on the birth control, Doc._ My mind patted me on the back.

I grasped the handle as I gave a tentative knock. I heard an 'It's open' chorus from the other side, and let myself peak in, asking if they were ready for me. Edward seemed deep in thought, I wasn't sure what that was about, he seemed happy though so I didn't question it.

"Bella, I am going to need you to lie here on the edge of the bed. Edward if you want to sit or lay on the other side and hold her hand that will be fine. I'm just going to unwrap the wound, and clean it. Then I am going to numb it, stitch it, and protect it okay. I'll give you some Motrin IB for the pain," I explained to her.

"Pain?" Edward asked, looking saddened.

It was weird though, it was as if Bella was soothing him, she reached up and ran her fingers at the nape of his neck. He sighed in contentment. It was rather interesting to watch.

"It's okay babe, the stitches will ache a little once the numbness wears off, but the Ibuprofen will dull the ache to a bare minimum. It's not that bad, I've had worse stitches than this," she reassured him.

He nodded and grabbed her hand, signaling for me to go ahead and continue.

I gently cut the wrap from around Bella's thigh, lifting her leg slightly to unwrap and remove the bandage. I started to clean the gash. Edward was right, it was pretty deep. I warned Bella that it might sting.

She sat like a trooper through the whole thing. I waited until I was about halfway done stitching before I decided to bring up forms of birth control.

Edward was laid next to her, their bodies as close as possible without disturbing the process. He was holding her left hand as her right kneaded his scalp and toyed with his hair. His left hand rested on her abdomen as they stared contently, studying each others faces.

They were in love. I could tell.

I cleared my throat lightly, to catch their attention, their hands stayed as they were, but both their gazes traveled to me.

"I know I am your father, and Bella I am just your guardian for now, but you are just as much family as everyone else. I know this might be uncomfortable, but I want to make sure my family is well cared for.

I know you just started this relationship, and I know that you two care for each other so much already. I can tell, you know?

You've been friends for awhile, but this is deeper, more complex. When making things complex, there is a responsibility you hold. Not just with your actions, but with words, gestures.

I trust the both of you very much. I know that you would never be careless, but I feel that it is very much my responsibility to help in any way that I can. Right now that respect has taken me first on a journey of which I need to protect you, Bella. Protect you from outside world, along with your inside would.

I hope you don't mind, but I have filed for temporary custody of you. It will allow me to use my medical insurance on you, you can travel out of state with the family, I will deal with the school when it comes to you, etcetera.

Also, both Renee and Charlie have to go through myself or Esme, to get to you. They cannot contact you, or approach you without permission. Is that okay? I haven't returned the paperwork to my lawyer since your father and mother signed, I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first," I finished. I knew I looked hopeful, but I really wanted to keep this girl safe, and make her happy and for her to feel welcomed at the same time.

"Carlisle, are you kidding me? Of course it is okay. I am actually relieved that I won't have to worry about Charlie trying to grab me and throw me in a van, to kidnap me back to the house of crazy. I want nothing more than to be a part of this family. I was just hoping that I wasn't wearing out my welcome. I know it's a lot of hassle to take on another kid, but if anyone could handle it, it would be you and Esme," Bella assured.

"Bella, you are not a hassle, and you are hardly just a kid. I would adopt you if I could. I want you to know, you don't ever have to leave here if you don't wish. I would actually prefer you stay. I know you have had it tough, and I don't want you to ever have to experience any of that ever again," I reassured her.

"Thank you, Carlisle and I would be honored if you would take temporary custody of me. Just promise to let me know if I am crossing any lines, or testing you, I don't know your rules, but I can be honest and say I don't really do anything to get me into trouble. I mostly kept to myself until I started hanging out with your family.

I never was really allowed to do anything before, not go to the library, no shopping. I didn't really know what it's like to be social, until Alice snatched me up. I always just dreamt that once I was sixteen I would get a job and save as much money as possible, then I would run to the furthest college that would take me, and if none would, I'd just simply run. I'm glad now that I have a reason to stay," Bella admitted.

I felt tears well in my eyes for this girl that has probably been running ever since she could stand, and I just hoped I could provide for her long enough that she would never have to run.

"Um, there was another responsibility I would like to take here, and it's personal, but I hope you guys understand that I am not trying to pry, pressure, or control you. I just want to keep you safe, and I hope you guys can make the most out of your lives," I said glancing skeptically at the both of them.

"Geez, whatever it is Dad just spit it out man," Edward laughed.

I took a deep breath as I finished the last stitch and sat back. I looked at them both and decided to suck it up.

"While I was at the hospital, I grabbed a couple alternatives for birth control," I said guiltily.

I glanced around and noticed all of us were blushing.

"Carlisle, I can assure you we haven't...." Bella trailed off as a new wave of blush took over her face. I glanced to my son who had was running his hand frantically through his hair.

"Son, stop that, you'll go prematurely bald," I scolded.

I glanced over as Bella took a deep breath and prepared herself, I wasn't sure what she was going to say, but I was hoping I wasn't going to get yelled at.

"Thank you, Carlisle, what types did you bring?" she asked, trying to appear calm, I could tell she was failing though, by how much her hand was shaking.

Edward's eyes were nearly as wide as his mouth. I could tell he was trying to think of an appropriate way to respond. He glanced from Bella back to me.

"Bella, you don't have to do this, especially right now, I mean we haven't even...we don't...Fuck!" Edward stuttered around.

"Edward, no we haven't...yet. Carlisle is right though, it is better to be responsible and prepared. It's not like we haven't thought about it. I should be ready for when we get to that point, instead of getting to that point before we are ready," Bella argued.

"Here, it's a chart that compares the forms of birth control, it has listed the pill Seasonique, the shot, the ring, and the patch. You have no reason for an implant, those are reserved mainly for those in between children. I can tell you that both Rose and Alice chose the shot because once every three months I call them to my office, give the shot, then they are done. No problem, nothing to remember. I can do the same for you," I told her.

"That is fine with me, but how does the shot effect my cycle?" she asked, generally curious.

"Most girls, some after a few months, some right away, stop having periods all together," I told her honestly.

"Yep, fine with me, I'll take that one," she concluded.

I grabbed the needed stuff out of my bag. I went ahead and protected the stitches I had just done and wrapped them in a Saran-type wrap so she could shower.

"Wait a minute, just hold on here. You're actually going to do this...and now?" Edward asked her, sounding exasperated.

"Do you really want me to answer that with your father here?" she responded with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, why the fuck not, he's been here the whole time anyways?" Edward questioned.

"Okay, if you don't think I need birth control that is fine for you, but mere minutes ago you had me in just a thong, pressed against that dresser, and did you or did you not have your hands on my breasts? I think birth control is perfectly reasonable right about now, don't you?" she asked, getting quite bitchy, in lack of a better term.

I was a little surprised at her outburst, and admission, I raised an eyebrow at my son who couldn't help but to look smug in return.

"Okay, you're right. It has just been a really long night, and that was a lot to take in," Edward conceded.

"This won't be effective immediately, so um...no intercourse right away okay? Um...I have some condoms here too, just in case. I'll leave them behind when I'm done. Give this about three weeks at least, understood?" I asked hesitantly.

I am never less than perfect on my delivery about these things, but for some reason I just didn't have it in me to feel comfortable this time. Maybe it was because I was here in my son's room, sitting on his bed, just feet away from where he had Bella practically naked, just a mere hour ago. Yep, uncomfortable is imminent I imagine.

"Okay, um what do you need me to do, Dr. Cullen?" Bella asked.

"Bella, it's Carlisle all the time, even if I'm talking about birth control," I said, as I laughed at her blush.

"Edward, why don't you kneel here on the edge of the bed. Bella stand on the floor and face Edward. Lean slightly forward, place your arms around his neck, you can rest your head on his shoulder if you like. Edward, place your hands on her ribs and hold her steady. I'm going to need you to judge if she gets weak. Sometimes shots have that reaction.

If you can ball the shirt up in your hand Edward, just enough to expose the top of her hip. Bella, your going to feel something cold, I'm just swabbing the area. Now your going to feel a slight sting. And....your done. That is it," I told them both.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" I asked.

They both shook their heads no.

"Alright, I will put this all in your file in the morning and I'll set myself up an alert for your next shot. I'm going to refer you to a gynecologist, so you can get your initial exam, you'll have to get one once a year, okay?" I asked.

She nodded her consent to set her up an appointment, and I made to leave the room.

"Um, Dad, do you think Bella could stay in here with me, to sleep?" Edward asked rather timidly.

"Edward, it's not a problem, she can stay with you as long as she likes, okay?" I answered, and clicked the door behind me as I exited the room.

I decided now was the time to let Esme know exactly everything that went on. I also was kind of giddy at the fact that young Edward has found himself in love, even if he hasn't realized it yet. I was hoping I could share some of that 'giddiness' with the wife tonight.

**BPOV**

I was rather stunned that Carlisle gave me permission to sleep with Edward, and even more stunned that he pretty much prepared me to sleep with Edward.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay in here, I don't want to invade your space, or smother you?" I asked him.

"Bella, my space is your space, hell you can move everything in here if you like. I don't care. I prefer it actually. I'm tired of being away from you, and I know you live right down the hall, but for some reason that is way too fucking far. So don't ever think you are smothering me, because your not," Edward protested.

I nodded in understanding, and my head fell trying to hide the blush creeping up my chest and face.

"I just didn't know what to expect. I mean we just started this..." I said gesturing between us, "...whatever this...is." I gestured again.

Edward just looked pointedly at me and quirked an eyebrow. A smile started playing on his lips before he began to speak.

"This...(he gestured) Isabella, I'm hoping means that you are my girlfriend, and in turn, that I am your boyfriend..." he got a little quite, trailing off in the end, sounding insecure, maybe doubtful?

All of the doubt left his face as my smile broadened.

"Edward, are you asking me to 'go steady'?" I asked with a playful edge.

"Yes Isabella, I believe I am," he said as his laughter escaped, and I soon joined in with him.

"Well boyfriend, now that your dad is done with me, I do believe I could use a shower," I hinted.

"I'll get your things from your room for you," Edward volunteered.

He came back in with my toiletry bag, my bathrobe, and I'm assuming his choice of sleep attire. I stood and started towards his bathroom.

I stilled long enough to glance over my shoulder to look pointedly in his eyes, and ask 'you comin'?' before heading into the bathroom. I paused again at the door and slowly pulled off Edwar'ds football shirt. I laughed as I heard him let out a 'sure hope so' in a long staggering breath.

I pulled my shorts off and reached into the huge shower to adjust the water. I was leaning against the wall while I waited, smiling despite how the night abruptly came to an end.

I felt a warm set of arms embrace me around the waist. He placed a soft, yet sensual kiss on my shoulder and I instinctively relaxed into him.

It hit me somewhere in the back of my mind that I was standing naked in front of my boyfriend, but instead of feeling uneasy about it, I almost felt comforted, I knew if he had any problem with my body, he wasn't letting it show, but instead of acting disgusted, he seemed quite pleased, and that fact allowed me to be this open with him.

We stood there a little while, comfortable and relaxed in each others arms, until Edward spoke softly in my ear.

"Bella."

"Hmm," I answered with.

"I'm sorry," Edward rasped.

I started to turn in his arms, but he held me tighter, keeping me where I was.

"I'm sorry for junior high, and the way I've treated you in the past. I shouldn't have, and I know I can't take it back, but I'd like to make up for it. I--" he paused a moment, "I really, truly care about you," he finished.

In the moment I realized that he nearly told me he loved me. Was it too soon? Maybe. I feel it though. I turned in his arms finally and my chocolate eyes met his apple. I smiled.

"I really, truly care about you, too. I feel it, too. I know it seems too soon, and that is okay. I just wanted you to know...that I know," I said placing my right hand on Edward's chest above his heart.

He smiled widely at me, a smile that took my breath away. It was at that point that I noticed that Edward was completely naked also.

_Oi, that is nice! Look down...you know you want to!_

I took in every aspect of him, starting at his hair. His crazy bronze hair, sitting in wild disarray, but still managing to look utterly perfect. His green eyes sparkling. His smile wide, and adorn with the silver hoop on the right side of his bottom lip. I traveled lower, his Adams apple bobbed, his throat looking completely lickable.

His broad shoulders, muscular biceps, hard chest, his forearms, his abs.

_Oh God, his abs, someone has been working out with Emmett. Keep going...Look! Treasure trail. Guess what that leads to...treasure!  
_

I took in the slightly darker huge of bronze hair trailing down between his abs, to the nice toned 'V' that lead to the place I hesitated to look. Thus far I have come to the conclusion that Edward's body doesn't look much like a fifteen year old body should, maybe eighteen.

I glanced down, my eyes widening in surprise. Definitely eighteen, because no boy should have that much man in their shorts. Edward was definitely blessed in length and girth, and he was noticeably hard. I continued my descent, traveling the length of his strong legs, even his feet were beautiful.

My eyes snapped back to his groin, then his eyes.

"See anything you like?" He asked with a smirk. "Are you sure you're fifteen? And yes I see plenty I like." I laughed, biting my lip, so I wouldn't in turn reach over and possibly bite him, considering he was looking completely edible.

Edward ran the pad of his thumb under said lip, causing me to release the hold my teeth had on it. "Careful, you'll rip it out," he smiled, as he referenced my labret. "I don't want any injury to come to those sweet lips of yours," he whispered.

He leaned forward, glancing into my eyes, before they fluttered close. He tugged on my bottom lip with both of his. The cool metal mixed with the warmth of his lips sent tingles from my mouth to my heated core. Eliciting feelings, urges I never knew I could have. That is until earlier when I had Edward undress me.

We continued to kiss a moment.

"Maybe we should get in," he suggested. I nodded and stepped into the hot shower. "May I was your hair, Bella?" he asked. I simply smiled and nodded, biting on my lip once more as I took in the newly wet Edward.

_Mmm, wet Edward..._

"What?" he asked with a smile. I shook my head and let out a long sigh.

As I turned away from him to let him was my hair I muttered, "Three weeks is too long." Obviously I said it too loud, because he laughed and kissed my neck.

I let him wash me and he was very gentlemanly, though I could see him struggling. I laughed when he repeated my earlier sentiment. "Three months is too long."

Edward got to his knees so I could wash his hair. I could hear him humming in response as I scratched and kneaded his scalp. "Does that feel good?" I asked huskily.

He let out a shaky yes before rising to rinse the shampoo out. He turned with a mischievous smile nodding to the body wash, asking if I'd like to was him.

"I don't think I'd make it," I let out, with a laugh. He joined me.

"I didn't think so. Why don't you go on and I'll join you when I've finished?"

I smiled and hopped out of the shower. I patted my body dry some and wrapped the fluffy towel around my hair. Then, I slipped my robe over my shoulders and tied it at the waist. I brushed my teeth, then grabbed my hair brush and made my way back out to the bedroom.

After I had towel dried and brushed my hair, I sat on the bed and waited, lost in thoughts of the naked man just feet from me. He emerged a few moments later, clad in a towel hung low on his hips. His hair was still wet dripping water down his torso.

I groaned a little in response. He raised an eyebrow before dropping the towel and heading to his dresser.

"I think I am going to combust," I said, and I noticed his shoulders shaking in laughter.

"You're not going to combust. I promise you'll go to bed completely satisfied," he said while slipping on a pair of boxer briefs.

I raised an eyebrow, but let it go for time being. I stood and raised a brow at Edward before I untied the belt of my robe, and let it drop from my shoulders to a pile on the floor by my feet. I walked toward him, pressing the front of my body directly against his. Silently loving the feel of skin on skin, as my naked nipples brushed his chest hair.

I reached around his torso and grabbed the pair of dark blue lace boyshorts he had laid out. I stepped back and decided to play with him a bit. I turned around and bent at the waist completely over to put on my shorts. My ass just inches from his groin.

"Ungh, you're completely evil," he let out.

I smirked up at him. "I know," I replied as I straightened and turned to face him. Tapping my chin with my index finger I asked myself, "Now what to wear on top?" I took the matching see through camisole off the dresser ignoring the bra, and pulled it over my head.

It was too much for Edward and he quickly wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me in the most passionate lust-filled kiss yet.

He backed me slowly until the back of my legs hit his mattress and I was lowered unto the bed. We scooted back until we were perched against the pillows. Finally breaking the kiss, Edward pulled back the covers and we silently crawled underneath. He swiftly reached across and shut off the lamp, effectively darkening the room, which was now lit solely by moonlight.

He cupped my cheek and kissed me deeply as he moved his body directly on top of mine, supporting his weight on his forearms. He brushed the hair from my face, looking directly into my eyes.

My left hand rested on his side holding his ribs as if to keep him there. My right arm had traveled up his back grasping his left shoulder holding him to me.

"Bella," he sighed, kissing me again this time he nipped at my lower lip before plunging his tongue deeply to tangle with mine, every new kiss more heated than the last. Our tongues fought for dominance, signaling the need that we felt deep within. It didn't feel forced though, our bodies just melted together as we were consuming each other.

After awhile we broke apart, my chest heaving to find enough air to force into my lungs. I thought I might pass out or implode from his intensity. He however didn't slow trailing kisses and licks down my neck, across my left collar bone.

My body shivered as he grazed his teeth across my skin, moving the thin strap of the tank off my shoulder. He kissed over to my throat before sucking deeply, but only for a second, descending his mouth to my chest.

He trailed his fingertips to lightly across my tank top clad breast. He lowered the cup of the shirt to expose me to the cooler air, laying his head on the right of my chest to watch his movements. He cupped my breast, kneading it, before brushing his thumb over my nipple effectively hardening it.

I couldn't help the small moan that stumbled out and I felt Edward's smile. He surprised the hell out of me when he abruptly lifted his head and self to hover over me. He gave me a smirk as he lowered the other side of my tank.

He cupped my left breast tenderly, but the right a little more firmly as he swiftly ducked his head down and licked from the base underneath my breast, up, swirling his tongue around my nipple. Then he swiftly took my nipple and as much of my breast as he could fit , in his mouth, sucking hard, flicking his tongue over the nipple, at the same moment his once tender hold on my left breast became more rough as he pinched my nipple between his thumb and index finger.

My back involuntarily arched off of the bed. "Fuck, Edward! Don't stop please!" I panted out. He nudged my knees further apart and slipped his other thigh in between my legs, grinding just so, effectively giving me the friction I desperately needed so badly.

He trailed his left hand down my body past my thigh, grasping my clave and hitching my leg on his hip, letting him press deeper unto me. He was kneading, biting, and sucking my nipples, not being at all neglectful of either one. His eyes now dark green met my nearly black, his left hand made its way back up my body until he was supporting my head.

He moved back up to my face, kissing me to the point of breathlessness, before trailing to my ear. "Bella...ungh...Bella, I want you so fucking bad," he moaned as he took my lobe between his teeth. He shifted his hips, and I couldn't believe how unbelievably hard he was.

My legs tightened around him in response, I knew he could feel how aroused I was, it had to have been seeping through to him by now, and I knew I wanted if not needed him just as badly.

"Touch me," I pleaded. "Please," I emphasized. His kissing slowed to a sweet pace as he trailed his hand from my breast, across my ribs, stomach, hip. He toyed with the side of my boyshorts a moment before grazing his hand over the fabric covering my heated core. He rubbed over the fabric a few times, making me squirm.

"Under, please!" I pleaded again, he complied. Running his long middle finger gently over my smooth folds before adding his index finger to part them slightly. His middle finger slipped between, grazing from my clit to my center and back up spreading my arousal.

"Fuck, you are so wet, Bella. So fucking wet, baby," he whimpered, pressing himself, trapping his hand between us, searching for his own friction. I trailed my hands down his sides, gripping his hips.

I pushed him off of me slightly before slipping my right hand between, slowly caressing his lower stomach. I trailed my hand down the the brim of his boxers before slipping my fingers under. I grabbed his length firmly, releasing it from it's confinements.

Edward burrowed his head into my shoulder, as he panted. "Fuck, Bella!"

I waited until his breathing evened out a little before stroking up, my thumb grazed his slit spreading his pre-come, making my movements more fluid.

He circled my clit a couple of times with his middle finger, before sliding it down to play at my entrance. "Please," I whimpered.

"Are you sure?" he asked, I bucked my hips in response as I nodded my head. I was panting way to hard to give an audible answer. He slid his middle finger in once pausing for my reaction.

"Don't stop," I rasped out.

He pumped it in and out a few times before deciding to add his pointer. "Ungh, Edward, Yes! Fuck, Yes!" I urged him on.

"You're so tight, Bella. So fucking tight, and wet. Fuck!" he panted.

I made sure to swirl my hand around the head of his dick an extra time for that. Our hips were unconsciously moving in sync along with our hands. "God, I'm so close, Edward!" I moaned, spurring him on.

"Me too baby, me too," he gasped in return. He then took on a new tactic as he curled his fingers upward and hooked on his way out grazing my g-spot. "Yes, fuck!" I couldn't help my volume, but I don't think he minded.

Edward's breath was in my ear as he whispered to me. "That's it Bella, come for me, baby. I want to feel you come," he pleaded. My hand involuntarily tightened on his even harder cock.

"Edward, come with me, please! I'm going to come," I moaned out, my volume getting louder as my legs began to quiver, and I felt the fire that had slowly been building, burst from my core. I felt it down in my toes, and up through my spine. "Edward!" I screamed, not caring who might hear me.

"Yes, baby. Fuck!" Edward growled, as his hips along with his whole body lifted, and pumped furiously in time with my hand. "Bella!" he roared, as he stiffened, his body still, as his cock throbbed in my hand, spilling his hot seed onto my lower stomach.

A few moments later we withdrew our hands, but we didn't move yet, we were just stuck staring at each other in wonder. "That was..." I started.

"Fucking amazing," he finished, with a huge smug grin.

"Fucking amazing," I repeated in agreement.

After we cleaned up we sat talking about nothing until I remembered to ask about the keyboard in the corner of his room. "Edward, I know you play a little at school, but do you still compose? I noticed the piano downstairs, and you have a keyboard here, and I was just wondering," I trailed off feeling kind of stupid for asking.

"Yes, I do still compose, but I haven't much lately. Would you like to hear something else though, I can play for you?" he asked. I nodded and he scolded me once again for biting my lip. He pulled me over to sit next to him as he began to play a modern classical piece I instantly recognized.

"Helen Jane Long?" I questioned.

"You've heard of her?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, I bought Porcelain months ago off Amazon. I stumbled upon her on Myspace, and loved her. Out of It All, right?" I asked.

He nodded. I waited until he finished. He looked at me shyly. "What?" he asked, when he saw me beaming.

"That was amazing," I said hugging him to me, before winding my fingers in his hair and kiss him deeply.

"Mmm, I'll have to play more often if that is the reaction I get," he teased.

A yawn escaped me and we decided it had been a long enough day. I took the left side of the bed, Edward curled around me on the right side. I couldn't help but notice we fit perfectly, yet again.

We exchanged 'goodnights' and a kiss before setting in for sleep. I was nearly there when I felt Edward;s lips press into my hair. "I love you, Isabella," he said softly, pressing another kiss there before settling into sleep. I was out mere seconds later. "I love you too, Edward."

The next day I received birthday presents from the Cullen clan, Jasper and Rosalie, despite my protests. Emmett provided me with an authentic Forks High football jersey with 'Cullen' across the back and his number 51.

Alice promised to get to work on making it girly and form fitting to wear to the upcoming football games. Alice gifted me an ah-mazing black cherry printed dress, with a form-fitting knee-length skirt, heart-shaped neckline, and cap-sleeves. The waist was accentuated with a small red belt. It was perfect.

Rosalie and Jasper promised to fund my next piercing. Edward promised me a tattoo of my choice. Carlisle and Esme were in trouble as I opened the box to my new Apple Macbook Pro. "No way, that is way too much!" I whined.

"Just be glad it's not your sixteenth birthday, Bella. I saw him eyeing an Audi for you." Esme laughed as my eyes widened. Carlisle smirked.

"What can I say, Bella. You are an honorary adoptee," he said, as he held up the jersey, nodding to 'Cullen.'

"Thank you!" I said on the verge of tears. "How did you know, a laptop?" I asked.

"We asked Charlie if it was alright after we learned from the gan that you're an aspiring writer," he answered. I was bouncing with enough enthusiasm to rival Alice. I bound up to Esme and gave her a tight hug before running to Carlisle. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek with an extra 'smack.'

"Thanks Dadlisle!" I laughed, as did he.

"Yep, adopted children tend to pick up on personality traits the the biological children possess. I think you have Alice pegged," he said. Alice stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"Dadlisle, huh?" he asked.

"Yep, and Esmom," I clarified. "MomMe, didn't sound right."

"I love it," Esmom beamed.

I settled on a tongue ring, as did Edward, he thought he should be able to reciprocate. I chose a tattoo for my left wrist. It was placed on the inside, above my pulse. Two cherries, celtic tribals on both sides, a green star accenting the tip on each side.

Above it read Miserable, the I was dotted with the outline of a star, the s had an was shaped like in the band 'KISS,' and the A was an anarchy sign. Underneath it read STRANGER making the sentiment as a whole read 'Miserable Stranger.' I drew the letters and stars myself, and dictated how everything else should look. I loved it.

The days passed rather slowly. Edward continued to sleep wrapped tightly around me, and we continued our exploration much the same. We decided not to have intercourse with the condoms, but to wait until it could be just the two of us, bare and open for one another.

We counted down the days, until we could be together completely. We literally marked that shit out on the calender with a motherfucking sharpie. One week down...two more to go.

_Fuck. My. Life._

**A/N:**

**[1] Quote: Edgar Allan Poe- The Mask of the Red Death**

Playlist Chapter 5: Nightingale

1. Stolen- Dashboard Confessionals

2. 11:11pm- All American Rejects

3. Breathe- Angels & Airwaves

4. Whispering Fingertips- Flyleaf

5. Out of It All- Helen Jane Long

Reviews are more than welcome. Don't hesitate to ask questions.

I hope you continue reading.


	7. Chapter 6: Cherry Sopranos & Onyx Tenors

**I don't own 'The Twilight Saga' I barely own any merchandise…lame right?**

**  
****OK HUGE SHOUT OUT!!! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, OPEN A SECOND WINDOW AND BOP OVER TO MYSPACE...LOOK UP MMMKAY!!! **

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****www(dot)myspace(dot)com/mmmkaypop**

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This chapter's featured song ****WORTH HURTING FOR**** is theirs, add them cherish them, buy them when they come out!!! (Told you I would PIMP you :P) Oh you can also 'Become a fan' on Facebook!!!**

**This chapter is dedicated to ****Brittany**** from ****mmmkay****, I emailed them to see if I could use their lyrics and ****Mike**** informed me that she is a huge Twilight fan. So ****Brittany**** this is for you!!!**

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If you are bored and want to hear me spout random shit, I have Twitter. Add me. I have been nicknamed Mrs. Funny Fucker there...no lie.**

**Just wanted to say…this is one long ass effin chapter for me….over 14,000 words so…enjoy, because it won't happen again haha.**

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Enjoy :)**

~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 6: Cherry Sopranos and Onyx Tenors

_"Thirst"_

_I hear you dance with Scarlet,  
I've been told you dream in red,  
I watch you sleep with crimson sheets,  
Draped over your bed,  
I'm distracted by your ruby cheeks,  
Flushing in disguise,  
I'll always get the answers I seek,  
By following your eyes,  
My gaze descends upon your mouth,  
Anticipating your kiss,  
But it's the taste of rust and salt,  
That gives me reason to live,  
Oh, how I wish you would submit,  
But not before a fight,  
I'm surprised most by your lips intent,  
For you're the first to bite,  
My body trembles in pleasure,  
Distracted by your touch,  
I never in all my years,  
Have ever thirsted so much,  
Guilty by my compromise,  
I'm disappointed though to say,  
As darkness follows through the night,  
That scarlet lips and hazel eyes,  
Never quite make their way,  
Into a dream on a dreamless night,  
This onyx darkness creeps upon me,  
Stealing my composure as I crack,  
It's then within the shadows I finally see,  
The thirst of which is black._

**EPOV**

Monday afternoon I made it to chorus, just like any other day. We hadn't done much, mainly just running scales and placing people as soprano, alto, etc. Today was different. I came into the classroom to find our teacher Alanna Molone, with a huge cheshire smile on her face.

Miss Mo, as she had us call her, only early twenties in age, our band and chorus teacher, was very easy to get along with.

"Class, I have an announcement. I decided I wanted to kick off this year with a bang. We are going to have a variety show. I know we usually wait until April to do this sort of thing, but I decided, why not do it twice," she announced never dropping her grin.

I glanced around, the chorus only consisted of maybe thirty students, six of them being our group, and we were all wearing huge grins.

"Excellent!" Emmett boomed, pumping his fist.

I could barely hear over the excited chatter and I tried to think quickly over all the different things I could do for this. I was a skilled pianist, guitarist, and I could sing. I was thinking maybe us guys could do something together too.

This was going to be awesome, I set to work flying through every song on my mp3 player, trying to get a clue of what to do.

As I was rummaging through my playlist, I saw Jasper and Emmett approach out of the corner of my eye.

"Guys, I know Edward here probably wants to do something by himself, but I have this kick ass song I want to do as a group for our girls," Emmett announced.

"And what song would that be Emmett?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Remember that youtube video of the fat kid dancing to the 'Numa Numa Yei' song? Well, I thought that would be awesome," Emmett grinned.

"Do you even know the words to the song? Because if we do it, we're doing the English version, which I must admit, is kind of romantic," I agreed.

Emmett pouted a little. "It is?" he asked.

"Yes, Em it is. Here, listen," I said as I handed him the buds to my mp3 player.

We all agreed on the song and we stayed separated from the the girls who looked as if they were making their own plans for the variety show. I wondered if they were going to do a group performance also, but decided to put it out of my head as I focused on what I should do for my solo performance.

I pulled out my laptop, because I knew Miss Mo wouldn't have anything against it. Emmett may be a jock and act like a dick a lot of times, but he knew a lot about computers. So much so that he had actually hacked into the schools wireless internet so that we could use their service.

I had just got on myspace to check it real quick, when I noticed one of the bands that I had friended had an updated status. Then it clicked. I knew exactly what song I was doing for the show.

About the time I put my laptop away the girls wandered over and started poking around, trying in vain to figure out what we had decided on for the show. We didn't budge, and they didn't indulge us either.

The only information they gave us, was that they in fact were going to do a group performance.

The performance would be in roughly two weeks so we set a time after school so we could begin our practicing. We decided to do it at Jasper's considering the girls were taking over the Cullen household.

I looked over curiously at Bella and she looked just as elated as I was. I couldn't wait to open up to her and let her know how much I was in love with her, and I only hoped that she felt the same way, because I didn't know if I could take it. I needed her love, I thirsted for it.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and the next thing I knew we were all tumbling out of the school in a fit of relief filled giggles and making our way to our respective vehicles.

Bella was walking ahead of me heading towards the cars, but I jogged up and grabbed her arm and pulled her to me, before she could get there. She spun around, and barely got out a surprised 'Edward' before my lips found hers.

I pulled her by the hips quickly to me and snaked one arm around her waist as the other tenderly kneaded the hair at the nape of her neck. I squeezed her to me as tight as I could, and took the longest deepest kiss I could on the one short breath I had obtained.

I rested my head against hers, and murmured an 'I'll see you later, love' into her lips, before kissing her once more, and then jogging off towards the cars.

The boys all piled into the Jeep and the girls into the BMW, since we had decided to part ways and begin our practice for the up and coming show.

**BPOV**

I awoke Monday morning wrapped in Edward's arms, and I had never felt so safe. I had my face rested on his chest and his leg was wrapped around my own. I could feel the slow, sleeping rhythm his heart was setting under my palm, and before I knew it, I felt a tear slip from my eye.

Never had I been so happy, so content as I was when I was with Edward. I knew I had to find a way to tell him how I felt. I knew it would seem too early, but with the tight hold he had on me, and the way it tightened when I moved just a fraction away, I was inclined to believe that he felt the same.

My hand took on a life of its own, it started twirling some of his chest hair, as I laid mesmerized. My eyes roamed from my hand up his neck and chin, where a light stubble had taken residence, to rest on his handsome sleeping face.

My hand, with a little more pressure, moved up to cup his neck, as I lifted up and placed a firm, yet gentle kiss to his cheek.

"Hmm Bella'' he murmured, before I saw a flash of emerald, but then it was gone. I only had to wait mere seconds before those precious eyes made full contact with my own.

"Good morning, love," he whispered. His eyes shining, and I knew right then that his heart was in the same place as mine.

"Good morning, Edward," I spoke softly. He cupped my jaw in the same before tilting my face up, at first for a gentle peck on the lips. Then again, and again more firmly. We kissed for a good ten minutes, until I convinced him that if he wanted to get to school at a decent time, we had better get to moving.

I had Comp/Lit first hour, and though I loved to read and write, I dreaded the class. I didn't like being told what I should read or what I should write, therefore my grade in the class was a little less than spectacular. I was going to have to work on that.

Torture presumed in second hour, where I was forced to endure Biology, but what made it so much better was my lab partner/boyfriend. If it wasn't for him forcing me to focus, and teaching me ways of making it fun I would be failing the class.

Our school days were set in a 'block 8' style. We had four one day and four the next, and at the end of each day we settled into study hall. 'A' days as we called them, for myself went as so: Comp/Lit, Biology, Chorus, Algebra. 'B' days for myself went: Band, World Culture, Intro to Art, Physical Education.

I had Biology, Chorus, Band, and Physical Education with Edward, and every day I also had study hall with the group in the same.

Today happened to be an 'A' day, and I had already successfully made it through Comp/Lit and Bio, and I was currently walking from lunch to Chorus with Edward. His arm was tightly wrapped around my waist, while we walked, sometimes I wondered if he did that to keep me upright, or because he really wanted to always be that close to me.

We walked into class and parted ways, Miss Mo liked to start class with us all seated by our respective octaves. I was a Soprano, Edward a Tenor. We separated and I took my seat by Alice, and Rose, as he navigated to and sat by Emmett and Jasper.

As soon as I heard the news about the variety show, my mind went nuts. Abruptly, my mind started arguing with itself, it was like watching two people racing and the one in the back pulling the arm of the leader so that they could jolt ahead, and this kept happening again and again.

Songs were racing through my mind as I was haphazardly and frantically trying to dislodge my mp3 player from my backpack, and the same time my mind was screaming 'use this to tell Edward you love him.'

Once the songs loaded I began at the beginning of the list, quickly clicking through songs, only pausing once in awhile when something seemed it might work, generally I only waited at most ten seconds in before I clicked again.

I was getting exasperated, this thing had over eight hundred songs on it and it was taking too fucking long, it didn't take very long for me to round past 'The Fugees' then again past 'New Found Glory', but I stopped abruptly at the only song that was listed just by name of song and not by band or singer.

This was it, this was the song. I wanted to do it solo, but I knew if I wanted to do a whole grand effect I'd have to get several more people to sing the background vocals. I was so happy, elated even that I had found it.

I was nearly panting, my heart was racing so hard, I slowly pulled the buds from my ears, and jammed the player back into my bag. I turned and saw Rose and Alice with smug looks on their faces.

"Find what you are looking for, so you can finally tell my brother you are in love with him?" Alice asked with a smirk on her face.

"Alice, Jesus, could you say that a little fucking louder?"

She went to open her mouth and drew in two lungs full of air, before I abruptly threw my hand over her mouth and threatened her.

"Alice don't you fucking dare or I will burn down your closet in your sleep," I hissed at her.

Her eyes widened, and she gave me a nod of defeat and I lowered my hand.

"Yes, I found what I'm looking for," I admitted.

"Okay good, because me and Rose want to do another group performance like we did with 'I love Rock and Roll', but this time we want to show our men how much we think of them," Alice said with a shy smile.

"Hit me with it," I said generally curious.

"Well that's the problem, we don't know what to do, your the musical creative one, and you got the chops here so we thought maybe you'd have a few ideas," Rose explained.

That's when my mind started doing this little funny dance singing 'La la la...lala...lalala' and it just clicked.

"Can't Get You Outta My Head," I whispered, realizing that was the song my sub conscious was telling us to sing.

"Well yeah that's the message we're trying to get out, Bella," Rose said, slightly impatient.

"No, fuckin'...bah, shut up Rose. I mean 'Can't Get You Outta My Head' by Kylie Minogue," I said as I quirked an eyebrow, waiting for approval.

"Fucking excellent!" they exclaimed at the same time.

We quickly made way to tell the boys that the Cullen house was our territory and that they were being extricated and sent the the Hale house to practice.

The rest of the day went rather quickly and I was crediting that to all the anticipation coursing through my body.

Edward stunned me stupid when he spun me around, and then literally and figuratively took my breath away. I felt that much more confident that I was doing the right thing.

"Wow, Bella, that was quite a kiss...got any news to tell us?" Rosalie prodded.

"Um, yeah...sure. That was one awesome fucking kiss. That is all. Don't look at me like that. We haven't had sex, we're not supposed to until, well coincidently, the night of the talent show," I sighed.

All I got was raised eyebrows, so I explained to them that we had to wait until we were sure the birth control had set in.

"Bella, you have heard of condoms right? You can use those until the shot is surely working," Rose argued.

"Yes Rose, I know that, but Edward and I decided that for our first times it would be much more meaningful if we could wait until there was nothing between us," I confessed to her.

Alice and Rose both nodded, and the conversation ended as we turned, and made our way up the lane to the house.

"Cullen/Swan love nest, we have arrived," Rosalie announced as she jumped out of the car.

I guess it really was my home too and everyone, or I was hoping everyone that lived here was securely in love.

We made our way back to the kitchen to find Esme and tell her that we would be practicing in the basement entertainment room. It was the biggest and it was pretty well soundproof. It also contained the kick ass sound system.

She asked if she could watch sometime once we had our performances rounded out mostly, and we agreed that she could most certainly and that we would most definitely love to have her feedback.

Alice ran to her room and downloaded the music we would need, while Rose and I grabbed drinks, and snacks, then headed downstairs.

Ten minutes later Alice bounded down the stairs.

"Good song choice, Bella. This is really going to be amazing," Alice said with a huge grin on her face, her eyes were slightly watering.

Rose looked a little confused. Alice popped the cd in, and played the original version of the song for her. It only took moments before Rose's eyes looked a little glassy also.

"Guys, what the hell, it's supposed to be a good thing?" I rationalized. Alice and Rose abruptly shook their heads.

"Bella, this is a good thing. I understand, what you've went through, but you haven't been around when Edward was going through so much. This is going to mean so much to him. You guys are perfect, and that fact is what is making me and Alice such girls right now," Rosalie said swiping at her eyes.

"So you guys really think he'll like it?" I asked, not hiding the hopeful look on my face.

"No, we think he's going to love it," Alice answered honestly.

My mind was working swiftly on how I was going to work everything, and I knew I had to get a lot more people in on this. That is when the thought came to me. The background is sang by a whole group of men and women. I knew that with the impact I wanted to make, I needed to get Emmett and Jasper in on this.

"Okay, let's first start with our group performance, then we will discuss what we're going to do to pull off mine, alright?" I asked.

I took to one side, Rose was middle, and Alice the other side, she hit play on the remote, and we started. We didn't need the words, we knew this song by heart.

We all sang the La's, and Rose sang the first chorus, then Alice twirled around and switched places with her, singing the chorus again, then switched me and I sang the first verse.

I fell back and they both sang the chorus again, then I slid between and sang the second verse. As the song ended, we each took a turn singing a 'I just can't get you outta my head,' before we joined in the last one.

We pretty much had the group performance rounded out, just a little tweaking and then wardrobe and we were good.

They both turned to me. "Okay, now what are we going to do about you?" Alice asked, while circling me.

"Well, right now, I'm going to sing it myself. You and Rose can do background. Then tonight we need to talk to Emmett and Jasper and I think I'd like to add Ben and Angela, that way we have this huge group dynamic going on," I said, rather determined.

"Why Jasper and Emmett?" Rosalie wondered the same time Alice squealed, "Bella, that's brilliant!"

"Because, Rose, I think it will make him feel the depth of what I am trying to get across, by having all his loved one's, his best friends, behind him on this," I explained.

Rose looked as if she was going to tear up again, but she nodded all the same. "I understand that, I really do. Bella, if he don't cry, he's going to be close, and then he's going to carry you out of that auditorium, and have his way with you," Rose said while letting a little laugh out.

"That's the plan," I murmured.

I had Alice switch the disk to October by Evanescence, and I sang the song solo, except for Alice and Rose taking the background. So far it sounded perfect and we were ready to let Esme have a listen.

I hoped she wouldn't think it was a mistake letting me get this close to Edward this fast. I was pretty sure Esme understood the depths of my feelings for him, so I was hoping she would react with as much care as Rose and Alice, and not think we were moving too fast.

We made our way upstairs after finding some drinks and set out for Esme. She was curled up in a chair in the library reading.

"Esme, would you like to have the official first look at our performances?" we asked with big smiles gracing our faces.

She leapt out of the chair so quickly I thought she would overturn it.

"You guys are ready? That didn't take long, well, I should have figured. I know how much talent you all possess," she beamed, looking rather proud.

I gave her a questioning look, knowing I've never given her a show before. She blushed a little before explaining she had overheard me a few times.

She led us all back downstairs and took a seat on one of the leather couches. We asked her where Carlisle was, and she said she decided to kick him out too, and sent him to the boys for moral support.

We did the group performance first, and Esme had a smirk on her face nearly the entire time. She clapped excessively at the end and commented that the boys would be eating out of our hands by the time the night was over, and asked if she could take us shopping on the weekend to find our costumes.

Of course we agreed and all agreed on a time.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward as Alice and Rose fell back, and hit Alice hit play on the remote.

I began pouring out my heart there in font of who I considered my surrogate mother, and as Rose referred to her, my future mother-in-law.

It didn't take long until I saw her eyes glass over, and I could already feel the streaks that had made it down my cheeks. By the time the song was over Esme was off the couch and had me wrapped in her arms. She began whispering in my ear.

"You love him, I can tell. I'm so happy, I know you are so young, but he has changed so much, and you have both gone through more than most retired people I know. You make him happy, I am so glad that you have found each other. You're my daughter Bella, I have taken you as my own. If you ever need anything, to talk, or anything else, I'm here. As is Carlisle, he loves you so much, you have know idea. The song is perfect sweet heart, if you need help with anything you just let me know," Esme managed to say, before placing a kiss to my cheek and backing away to wipe her own tears away, as I did mine.

"Thank you," I whispered, since I feared I wouldn't be able to find my voice. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would jump straight out of my chest.

"Alright girls, who wants pizza, I'm buying," Esme smiled.

"Do we have chocolate ice cream? That would make a great dessert," Alice asked, and we all nodded in unison.

"Do I ever let my girls go without chocolate ice cream? That's what I thought, lets go," Esme said as she ran up the stairs, and straight towards the take out menu drawer.

An extra-large pepperoni and black olive pizza, and nearly a gallon of chocolate ice cream later, we were all sprawled out on the couch...Esme included. We were watching Live Free or Die Hard, when Carlisle, Edward, and Emmett, busted through the front door, laughing their asses off.

We were all to stuffed to move so we just threw waves in the air, and suddenly the laughter stopped.

We all glanced back with raised eyebrows, just to be met with the same.

"Um, you guys get a girls night and watch Die Hard?" Emmett laughed.

We all just blinked at him.

"Replace the ice cream with beer, and or beef jerky, and you would think it was a guys get together," Em pointed out again.

"Em, if I remember right, you like to watch The Princess Diaries, with your pizza and jerky," Bella accused.

Everyone laughed at Emmett as he blushed. "What Anne Hathaway is funny?" he tried to rationalize.

"Anyways, what's going on guys?" Esme asked.

"The boys got done practicing, we ate pizza, and came back here," Carlisle informed.

"Wow, it's getting rather late, time to get wound down and thinking about going to bed alright guys? I'll pick this up and I'll see you in the morning," Esme said, as she hugged us all goodnight and shoo'ed us towards the stairs.

As I rounded off the stairs towards my room, Edward snaked his arms around my waist.

"Where do you think you are going?" Edward asked, and I could feel the warmth of his breath sweep across my neck.

"Just to get some more things, then I was going to come straight to your room."

"I'll go with you," he said and followed me.

I grabbed some clean pajama shorts, tank, undergarments and clothes. I pretty much grabbed a whole duffle full, I mean, I might as well, right? Esme always had our clothes washed and put both my basket and Edwards in his room anyways, so why not?

Edward took the bag and grabbed my hand practically dragging me to his room. He pretty much pushed me through, he dropped the bag by the door and shut and locked it. It was only seconds before he had me backed up, and the back of my knees hit his mattress.

His hands grabbed my hips as he bit his lip, and I felt like I knew what he was feeling. My eyes flickered up and quickly met his. My hands were resting on his abdomen and I pressed into him and drug them up over his chest and collar bones, he groaned a little and I slid my hands into his hair. I tugged his head back making his eyes meet my own.

I gave a Cheshire grin before reaching forward and running my tongue roughly along his bottom lip. He growled subtly and his jaw dropped open. My thumbs roughly traced his jaw and I put more pressure on it so his mouth was completely open in an 'o'. I nipped his chin before I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and bit it a little less gently.

I did the same to the top before I pulled his hair harder and aligned my body with his. My mouth covered his own and we were battling for dominance before I knew it. Something took over me, some need for dominance.

My hands fell to his waist and before he could attempt to stop it, I spun us around and pushed him down to the bed. His eyes widened a moment before he reached forward and grabbed my shirt from neckline down and pulled me on top of him.

I straddled his legs and sat up, with my hands on his chest, I pushed until he fell back again. I didn't remove them as I leaned forward and licked from the base of his neck all the way up his jugular, and took his lobe between my teeth and gently bit down as I teased it with my tongue.

My hips unconsciously started grinding in time with his, and I couldn't help the loud moan that I let out. I had this sudden need to please him, and I knew exactly how I wanted to do so, but first, this animalistic side was taking over me, and I quickly glanced down to his shirt...just a simple white one.

_He has plenty of these._ I thought.

I couldn't help myself, I leaned forward, my hands that were fisted in his shirt, released and grabbed the neckline. I tore that son of a bitch right down the middle.

_Wow, that was hot._ I thought, and by the look on his face...he thought so too.

"Jesus, Bella fuck!" he exclaimed as he tried to roll me under him, but I held firm.

I shook my head at him and he gave me an incredulous look, a look that said, why the fuck not? I just smirked. I was not nearly done with him.

I leaned forward, and nipped at his navel. I licked a trail up his abs, and circled his nipple before nipping at it. His back arched and I did it again to the other. I kept taking them between my teeth and running my tongue over them, before releasing and blowing, leaving a cool trail behind.

I ravished his mouth as I reached down and undid his pants. I stood and pulled them down, before he kicked them off. He leaned forward I assumed to remove some of my clothes, but I just shook my head and pushed him back down.

I stepped back and removed my shirt, before reaching down and also removing my jeans. His jaw dropped as he took in my miniscule ruffled panties and bustier. Thank God for Alice insisting we go lingerie shopping.

I ran my hands up his thighs and grasped the elastic of his boxer-briefs. He gave me a skeptical look, but I just raised an eyebrow. I pulled them down his legs and settled on my knees on the floor.

Edward gasped rather loudly as he was figuring me out.

"Bella, no...you don't have to...I don't want you to think I need...this," he stuttered out.

"No, maybe you don't, and I don't think you need anything, but I do, right now, I need to taste you."

I stood and walked around the bed. I grabbed our pillows, and tapped his shoulder so he'd sit up, I slid them under his head and shoulders.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, for one I want you to relax, and to be able to watch, if you like. Secondly, I'm going to turn on some music, because I want to hear you react to me, and not worry that other people will hear, and third and finally, I am going to suck your cock," I finished.

I needed something else first. The courage, confidence, and dominance in me right now, was yelling at me just to go for it.

I crawled back up the the bed, until I was kneeling beside him, I threw my leg over and straddled his lower abdomen, but up enough that I wasn't making contact. His hands grabbed at my ass and he sat up to kiss me, but I pulled back and lightly tapped his cheek.

"I didn't say you could do that," I chastised.

"Then tell me what I can do for you?" Edward said huskily.

I grabbed his hair with my right hand, jerking his head back once again, before repeating my earlier motion, running my tongue across his bottom lip, and biting playfully.

I kissed him some, and while he was distracted I took my left hand and pulled the top of my bustier down. I reached back and grabbed his right hand, and slid it off my ass. I ran it up my side and stopped.

I pulled my head back, looked at him and said one word.

"Suck."

At the same time I pushed his hand until he was cupping my bare breast.

His eyes met mine briefly, before he huskily murmured, 'yes, love.'

At that, his lips surrounded my nipple, he sucked and kneaded my breasts, each one a little rougher than the last. His other hand came up and he switched, making sure both were equally pleased, he nipped and pinched and pulled, by now he knew what I liked, and I could feel the wetness on my thighs.

I wanted to let my boy know how well he was doing, so I ground against his chest slowly, in time with the music. Truth Hurts 'Addictive' was playing, my hips were matching the pace. His hand slipped down and caressed my damp panties, and he moaned out a 'so wet' against my chest.

He made to slip a finger under, but I swiftly was kneeling in front of him.

I shook my head no, and pushed him back, so he was once again reclined on the pillows.

I reached forward and grasped his length.

"Fuck, Bella," Edward gasped out yet again. He swiftly bit his lip, unsure of whether he should be saying anything.

"It's okay, let me hear you. I want to know if I'm pleasing you right," I assured him.

"God, everything you do feels perfect," Edward encouraged.

I grasped the base of his shaft before I ran my hand up the length of him. I thrust back down, and gripped a little harder with my newfound confidence. I leaned forward swiftly and my tongue swiped the precum from his tip.

Edward gasped. "Fuck, Bella are you sure, you don't have to, you, your mouth, oh God," he panted out his protests once again as I swirled my tongue around the head and took it in my mouth, my tongue teasing his slit.

I chanced a glance at his face, and his eyes were drooped, and his mouth was hung open as he breathed slowly.

I sucked him as far into my mouth as I could, I got a little more than half in, but I wasn't happy with that. The second time he hit the back of my mouth I relaxed and my throat opened up. I took him all the way in and I twisted on the way back up.

I started alternating pulling him all the way in my throat, and doing short shallow thrusts. I felt his thumbs brush my cheeks and jaw. He was leaned on a forearm. He swept my hair to one side, and brushed from collar bone to jaw, as he stared into my eyes. The intensity took ahold for a moment and I had to close my eyes to keep from losing focus.

When I opened them the intensity was still burning into me. He cupped the back of my neck and gently started helping me as he thrusted slowly into my mouth. The speed started picking up, and I felt as he became impossibly harder in my mouth. I knew by his breathing and that fact, that he was close.

"Bella," he whispered, "you need to move baby, I'm going to come."

I gave him a soft, but determined look, with the slightest shake of my head.

"Fuck, baby please, I can't...not...ungh, Bella....yes," he practically whimpered.

I met his eyes as the head of his cock hit the back of my throat and he stilled. I felt the warmth and tasted the slight bitterness of his come as it caressed my tongue and I swallowed repeatedly until there was nothing left. I sucked and licked lightly making sure I got everything before I released him.

His hand was still caressing my cheek before he leaned forward and rested his forehead on mine.

"I don't know what that was for, but thank you," he said before he leaned forward, and kissed me tenderly.

"I don't know either, I just needed to do it, I just needed to show you," I whispered as I chanced a glance at his face.

"Bella, I know, God I know," he agreed, as he swept me off the floor, placed me on the bed and rolled on top of me.

"Edward, you don't need to reciprocate, I'm fine, I just had to do that," I reassured him.

"You may be fine, love, but I'm not. Watching you do that, watching you taste me, it just made me want to ravish you," he groaned out huskily.

He started undoing the eye-hooks on the back of the bustier until I was freed. Then he let out a slightly menacing chuckle.

"Ah, Bella, what is it they say, an eye for an eye?" He smirked, then he fisted my panties and literally tore them off of me.

_Fuck, that was so hot, note to self. See if he'll do that one again sometime._

"Edward fuck, more...give me more, please," I begged.

_What? We are not to proud to beg.  
_

He slipped his middle finger between my lower lips and circled my clit, as he did the same to my nipple with his tongue. I let out a small whimper and he slid the middle finger into my opening first, and then a second, thrusting them in and out at an agonizing pace.

"Please," I whimpered again.

"Tell me what you want, love. Tell me and I'll do it," Edward said with a roughness to his voice, as his tongue dipped into my navel.

"Oh, God Edward, I wish I could have you. Please I need...I need," I panted out, and I couldn't finish I was so breathless.

"You will have me, you will have me in about twelve days, but right now I'm going to have you," Edward informed.

He knelt between my legs, and he gently picked up each of my calves and placed them on his shoulders, his long glorious hands were gripping my thighs, and he blew directly onto my clit.

My back arched off of the bed and he quickly pushed me back into it.

"Don't go nowhere, we're just getting started," Edward smirked.

He dipped his thumbs into my wetness and spread me before him. I was resting on the pillows the same as he had, and I could see him, and it was a sight to behold.

His hair, his face down there, was the most erotic thing I had ever seen. His tongue flicked out, and circled my clit, before he lowered his head and did one deep, hard lap with the flat of his tongue from bottom to top.

"Edward," I whimpered.

That was all he needed, his tongue thrust into my opening, barely at first, going deeper and deeper with each thrust, and then he groaned.

I felt it in my spine.

_Fuck, that wasn't a groan that was a growl, woman.  
_

I couldn't help it I started thrusting in time with him. My hips met his pace, and my hands on their own accord started teasing my nipples.

"Yes, fuck yes, Edward, harder, faster please," I pleaded.

He groaned again, yes...it was working.

His nose was hitting my clit in time with his thrusts, and I could feel the fire scorching, consuming me.

"Edward, your tongue feels so good, yes fuck," I encouraged. I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging lightly with each thrust. He growled once more, and I felt my stomach start to tighten.

"Edward, growl again, fuck please, I'm so close," I pleaded, his eyes met mine, and I gasped at the intensity, before I felt a tear slip out.

_Why can't you just tell him? Because it's not the right time. I will at the variety show, it'll be perfect.  
_

I don't know if it was the sight of my tears, and the intensity on his part, or the need to listen to my orders, but whatever it was, Edward growled again, and that was all I needed.

I was panting and all of a sudden I saw white hot stars, and behind all the stars I could faintly make out Edward's green eyes still intent on my own. The pleasure shot up my spine and down to my toes, and my pussy was throbbing, gripping tightly at his tongue that was still pushing me and prolonging my orgasm.

"Edward yes, yes I, I, oh God, yes..." and with that I nearly spilt it. I had to stay strong though, I could not tell Edward I loved him, until he could see it with his own eyes.

I was breathing shallow, coming down from the most spectacular orgasm ever, as Edward placed one last kiss to my clit. He laid down by me and kissed me deeply. I groaned at the taste of myself on his lips, it was amazing.

"Edward," I whispered, "that was amazing, thank you so much, you have no idea...how I felt, it was just, wow."

"I think I have some knowledge of how you felt, come on it's late. Let's get showered and get to bed," Edward said, as he kissed me once more and helped me up from the bed.

As we made our way to the shower to get ready for bed, I heard Edward murmur something.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I was just saying how I needed to stop watching porn with you, or well, maybe we should watch it more often," he replied with a huge smirk on his face.

I smacked his arm. "Are you complaining?" I asked.

"Um, most definitely not!" Edward laughed out.

Our shower went rather passively, since we were both sated and dead tired. I fell asleep in his arms again that night, and I had never felt more at home.

* * *

The rest of the week at school passed rather quickly. We were all signed up for our performances, and Miss Mo could not be happier. We had talked to her before class about rehearsal times.

Auditions and rehearsals was set to be open to all the performers, and considering the three of us didn't want the three of them to get a preview, and vise versa, we convinced her to let us do our rehearsals and auditions at separate times in separate venues.

Friday was our audition and Miss Mo loved both of our performances. She asked us about the secrecy with the boys and she then agreed to help place our performances in the show so that it would be to our best advantage. She said we had the four most promising acts anyways, so it would make the show more balanced in the end.

Saturday morning came, wardrobe shopping day.

Alice woke me at 7 A.M. this morning.

"Alice, please, no stores are open at..." I looked at the clock, "7 A.M." I finished with a yawn.

"Someone shut that pixie up," Edward mumbled beside me.

"Shhh...don't wake him up, he should get to sleep in even if I don't," I said as I tossed her a scowl.

I started to crawl out of bed but an arm pulled me, and I was back to chest with Edward.

"No, I don't want you to go, your my cuddly bear," Edward murmured, both Alice and I giggled.

"You are such a girl," Alice whispered.

I tried to move again, but was turned and I felt his breath before his lips met mine.

"Fine, you can go, but I get to do this first," he said and then kissed me deeply.

"Ew...guys common, I'm right here. C'mon Bella, let's go, we gotta get started..." Alice said as she finally successfully pulled me from Edward's arms.

He pouted, but hugged my pillow instead. "Be careful to day, I'll see you later,love," I heard him murmur before he drifted back off to sleep.

"Did he just call you 'love'?" Alice asked after she closed the door and started steering me down the hallway.

"Um yeah, it's something he's been doing a lot of lately," I said with a light smile as my cheeks noticibly blushed, Alice smirked.

We dressed and grabbed a quick breakfast before piling into Esme's car...I don't really know what it is, but it's pretty, and I'm guessing rather expensive. I'm pretty car retarded.

Anyways we jumped into the beautiful bluish car/SUV type thing, and started down the drive.

"Where are we going that we have to leave this early, surely nothing is open this early?" I asked hesitantly.

"We're going to Seattle. I have some designer friends there and their loft is full of clothes that would be perfect for you girls," Esme responded with a smile.

The car ride was rather smooth. The conversation flowed easily, along with music and laughter, Esme was a wonderful mom, but she was also so easy to get along with.

We made it to the loft and we all went different directions. I was near this rack of dresses that I like to call 'woodland fairy dresses' searching for something that screamed Amy Lee or even just me.

Alice came bounding up to me and all I saw was a blur of pink. "Bella, Bella I found our dresses!" she exclaimed quickly, bouncing on her toes seeking my approval.

"Alice you are not putting me in that pink dress, forget it," I told her.

She smiled coyly and pulled two more dresses from behind her back. "No Bella, I would never dream of it...the pink is for me, blue for Rose, and the white and black for you," Alice said with a huge wide grin, she knew she had done it.

"In that case...I think they are perfect, let me find something here and then we can try them on okay?" I asked.

She nodded and took off to find accessories.

I kept searching through the land of fairies until I came to the mother of all dresses. It was black and dark red, almost a tye dye pattern, It was spaghetti strapped, from hip to bust it laced up like a corset and the skirt hit about mid calf.

The skirt was all layered so it varied, it would move well with me and show some leg depending on how I stood, it was perfect, almost classic romantic or gothic. I grabbed the dress and took off towards the shoes but something caught my eye first.

I wanted to be able to hide my wardrobe from everyone until I went on stage, I would have to change after the Kylie Minogue song, and have just enough time to watch Edward's solo performance before needing to get set up back stage. The only way to make it work would to be to cover my wardrobe.

That's where I found myself staring at this almost medieval duster/trench type coat. It was beautiful. It was black and double breasted so it snuggly around the waist, accentuating a woman's figure. I grabbed it and continued on to the shoes.

Alice was there and she had set out three matching pairs of Valentino heels to go with our dresses. I hung my dress and duster and set out to find shoes. I felt a presence and turned to find Alice with a pair of Christian Louboutin corset lace-up ankle boots.

"Perfect," I said with a wide smile.

"I saw a glimpse of the dress so I grabbed you some lingerie, stockings, and matching lace gloves. It's going to look so perfect together," Alice grinned triumphantly.

We made it to the dressing rooms and everything fit perfectly.

Esme paid for our clothes and we made it back to the car, it was still pretty early so we went and ate before heading back to Forks.

Our rehearsal was set for tonight at seven, so when we got home we rounded up our clothes and dressed for our group performance. We made sure that we could still dance in our heels and we performed for Carlisle for the first time that night. The boys were at Jaspers and Esme and Carlisle were going to check on them next.

I paced around my room frantically pulling at my hair.

I decided to keep my wardrobe hidden in there since Edward doesn't let me alone long enough to actually make it in here that often.

I was effectively dressed and stressed the fuck out. I snuck over to the balcony and puffed quickly on a cigarette. The boys were running distractions with Edward. Their rehearsals were Monday after school, and the boys were having to sneak away from him tonight so that they could practice with us.

Giving myself one last glance in the mirror and taking a breathe I made my way downstairs, it was only Carlisle after all, but here in awhile I'd have to do it in front of my teacher, and that always made me a little anxious.

I walked into the room with even the duster gracing my shoulders, everyone turned to me and raised their eyebrows.

"I just wanted to make sure you couldn't see the dress or anything with it on," I explained.

"You're safe," Alice promised.

"Okay, good," I said unbuttoning it and pulling it from my arms, I draped it over one of the couches.

"You look great Bella, are you ready?" Esme reassured.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I said smiling at her.

Esme started the cd, we were using acoustic guitars for the show, but since the boys couldn't be here Rose was the only counterpoint that could play and really we needed two guitars. Jasper and Rose were originally going to play, but we decided to let both Angela and Ben play, that way I could have the whole Cullen circle standing together.

I knew the Hale's are technically just that, but they were what made it whole, with exception of Edward, and I hoped that void would be filled by me.

I took my stance and though I could feel Carlisle's presence there I really was in my own zone.

Once the girls joined in with me I heard a slight gasp from Carlisle, I chanced a glance up and his face was glowing, and though I knew he wouldn't cry, I thought this was the closest I would ever see him.

I kept eye contact with him for a long time, I don't if it was in reassurance that what I was saying was true or what, but it needed to be done. I know he cherished Edward, even though he wasn't his biological son, he was someone to be gentle with when it came to heart-strings.

When I finished the song I found Carlisle in front of me with his arms open in offering of a hug. He hugged me tightly, and while I was there he whispered faintly for no one else to hear.

"You take care of him for me, will you? I know it's a lot to ask, but I just want to to be gentle with his heart, and I know he'll do the same for you. I know as a parent I shouldn't encourage this, this early, but the damage has been done, and who am I to tell someone when they can and cannot fall in love. You are good for each other, and I hope this keeps forever, because if it does...you guys will be a force to reckon with," Carlisle finished with a kiss to my head.

"Good luck tonight guys, you're not going to need it, but have fun. You guys are going to be spectacular to watch at the show," Carlisle said, before ascending the staircase. He went to take Edward to the movies in an attempt to divert him while we stole Emmett and Jasper, who claimed Mrs. Hale needed their help at the house.

We made it through our rehearsal with no problems at all, Miss Mo was especially pleased and was bouncing in anticipation of the show. If only she knew.

The week went quickly and we found ourselves getting closer and closer to the show. It was Friday, and the show was tomorrow, I was completely terrified.

I had never had stage fright, but this was completely different, I was spilling my heart, wearing it on my sleeve before handing it to Edward, and I was hoping it would put it in his pocket for safe keeping, hopefully to the end of time.

I only hoped he felt the same as I did, because if he didn't I was going to look like a giant ass.

School ended and we made our way home like always. I was sat next to Edward in the back seat, his arm slung over my shoulders, his other hand clasping mine tightly. I felt him lean over and then I felt his warm breath as he spoke quietly in my ear.

"I want to take you out tonight," he whispered, and I tensed slightly remembering the last time we went out.

He squeezed me tightly in his arms. "Not out like that, I can't drive anyways, fifteen remember? I had something better in mind," Edward finished.

I quirked an eyebrow and I know he felt it, but I nodded anyways. "Yes, I'd like that," I whispered.

Once we made it home, Edward stopped me in the foyer, taking my bag.

"It's rather warm out today, so wear whatever you like. I'll meet you downstairs in say, what half an hour? I'll leave you to get ready," Edward said. I nodded and started for stairs.

It was an unusually sunny warm day, so I decided on a simple white sundress, decorated with pinkish flowers...yes I know pink. Today felt pink.

I finished it with some matching low cut chucks, I left my hair flowing, but decided to pin the sides up and out of my face. I added a little makeup and called it good.

I sat and waited a little while lost in my thoughts, not wanting to rush down and seem too eager.

After I had effectively been gone for approximately twenty-three minutes, I made my way down the staircase to find Edward waiting for me, picnic basket and blanket in tow.

He walked me to the back door and I gave him a curious look. We made our way towards the back of the yard and down the path in the woods. After walking for about fifteen minutes, he tugged me sideways off the wide path down and much more narrow one.

After lifting a couple branches over my head, I found myself standing in the most beautiful meadow I had ever seen.

I gasped.

"Wow, this is amazing Edward," I said in a whisper my hand was on his bicep, and in the back of my mind I told myself I'd have to take a good look at him later, I think he's been working out.

I walked entranced throughout the wondrous place. Edward stopped at one point and laid out the blanket and started setting everything up, but I continued my endeavor. I walked around, touching trees, leaves, flowers.

I stopped in front of one tree, it was beautiful, I leaned against it and sighed. It felt like I was in a fairy-tale. The tree itself reminded me of the one Alice chased the kitten around before falling down the rabbit hole. A favorite of mine.

Edward cleared his throat and I looked up at him and I knew I was beaming.

"How did you find this place, I thought landscapes this beautiful only came from storybooks," I said breathlessly.

Edward smirked a little.

"I came across it one day, and I always came here when I needed peace, or reassurance. It really is marvelous isn't it. I thought I would share it with you," he said with a smile, as he held out his hand to me.

I crossed the distance and took it, he embraced me and kissed me tenderly before helping me lower to the blanket.

"Wow this looks amazing," I said smiling knowingly at him.

"Yeah, well Esme may have helped a little," he said chucking.

There was an assortment of sandwiches, fruit, vegetables, we hand sweet tea and lemonade, and chocolate chip cookies, because he knows those are my favorite.

We ate quietly for awhile, and I helped him pick up the food once we were done.

We laid back on the blanket, staring into the slightly cloudy but clear sky.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," I told him genuinely.

"You're welcome, I figured you could use a refuge just as much as me, and that you don't have to be alone in it either, I can say that this has been much more enjoyable with you here," he said smiling at me.

I rolled to my side before running my hand tenderly through his hair. He closed his eyes to the contact. His hand was on my side rubbing smoothly over my dress. I ran my lips across his and they opened instantly for me.

His fist bundled my skirt in his hand by reaction, then he pulled me flush to him. I sighed his name as I was hovered above him. His other hand twisted in my hair as mine ran slowly up and down his chest, getting lower with each pass until I eventually slipped it under his shirt and ran my fingers across his abdomen. My fingers delighted in their endeavor meeting the soft skin over the hard muscles.

I retracted my hand and pulled him to hover over me, and it was all I had not to say it again, so I just placed my hand over his shirt where his heart would be, he followed me doing the same and meeting my eyes as he did.

He knew, as did I, but it wasn't yet time. Tomorrow, my eyes screamed and he seemed to understand. We molded our lips together once more and I could barely breathe from the intensity of it all, it stopped all together when he breathed my name. It was such a sound and one that I would never forget.

"It's getting dark love," he said after we hand been laying in each others arms for awhile. "It will be getting cold soon, we better get back, I haven't brought any flashlights..." he trailed off knowing I would get the hint.

"Promise we'll come back?" I asked.

"Of course, whenever you want baby," I smiled at him, not only could I not wait to come back and I hadn't even left yet, but also because he called me baby, it felt amazing.

I went to sleep that night peacefully in his arms, dreaming of wandering through the meadow. I was wearing a blue and white dress. I was chasing Edward around my tree, with that huge cheshire smile on his face, before taking his hand and leaping down the rabbit hole with him.

**EPOV**

I had wanted to take Bella out, I felt like such a bum of a boyfriend, but hell I'm only fifteen, what the hell am I supposed to do? Have Esme drive me out on a date? Yeah I don't think so.

I decided the meadow was just the right touch of romance, and that a picnic would be perfect. She reacted exactly how I thought she would, mesmerized. I nearly took her right there on the blanket. She looked so beautiful in that sundress, her hair tossed out behind her.

My mind was getting the better of me, thinking back to the domineering oral sex she provided the Monday night that we had learned of the show. Sure we had touched and stuff since then, but my God, I didn't think anything could top that. I didn't know she had it in her, but I was very thankful that she did.

I was thankful also that I was told before me and her really got started that I needed to jerk it at least twice a day, if I wanted to be able to last more than five seconds our first time. So I did that shit almost religiously, unless she was doing it for me.

I was nervous for the show, but I had this feeling that it would be spectacular. I knew she loved Mmmkay, and that she would get what I was saying to her. We just had to get through it.

**BPOV**

I awoke abruptly at 7 A.M. once again, by an evil fucking pixie.

"Alice, what the hell? I sincerely hope you don't make this a routine," I said scolding her.

"We are going to the spa and stylist Bella come on!" she said, pulling me effortlessly out of bed, even Edward wasn't fast enough to stop her this time. I righted my balance, leaned over and kissed Edward telling him I'd see him tonight.

The day went on for what seemed like forever and my nerves would not, could not settle. I effectively had my nails done in a french manicure, but I had them put black stars on my pointer and pinkie fingers.

I went back and forth on my hair, trying decide whether I wanted to go with a straight do or if I just wanted it curly and wavy like usual. Alice suggested getting some black extensions for underneath and stuff, and I had to admit it looked kick ass.

My hair that is usually around the middle of my back, now was falling down to my waist in big soft waves of mahogany and black. It looked marvelous, and of course Esme said whenever I wanted to get anything done just let her know and we'll make another girls day.

It had been a day of firsts for me. My hair and nails, and also Alice talked me into getting waxed...legs, eyebrows, and yes my nether regions too. I had to admit, it felt a lot better than purely shaving does.

We made it back to the house and gathered all of our wardrobe and costumes for both acts. The girls and boys would have separate dressing rooms, and we decided it would be better just to wait to put anything on until we get there.

The show starts at seven and we made it backstage around six fifteen. I snuck to the front where the students in the show were setting up lighting and everything else and text Edward. He too snuck up front and gave me a huge hug, commenting how much he liked my new hair, before kissing me deeply and jogging back to the boys side of the stage.

The chorus, including myself and everyone else was singing first. We were just singing a choir rendition of Five for Fighting's 100 Years. After the song was over everyone rushed backstage. Some of the seniors were doing a skit and then next up was Rose, Alice, and myself.

We quickly changed from our street clothes into our group performance wardrobe. We took our positions center stage, Rose in the middle, I was to her right and Alice her left.

They announced us and the curtains opened the same time the music and lights started. Our lights were pink and blue polka dots, moving sporadically. I chanced a quick look and there were the three guys wedged between Carlisle and Esme, directly in the front row. I couldn't help but smile at that.

Their eyes were all wide and their grins were just as huge as they took in our forms. Esme and Carlisle were wearing smug looks on their faces. I knew it was just a matter of moments before they went into a frenzy.

Then it started, Kylie Minogue's 'Can't Get You Outta My Head.'

We all sang the La's together and Rose began with the first chorus.

La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy your lovin' is all I think about,  
I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy it's more than I dare to think about,

Emmett let out a loud 'Yeah Rose! That's my girl!!!' and I had to stifle a laugh. Alice and Rose smoothly switched positions as we all sang the La's again, and Alice sang the chorus the second time.

La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy your lovin' is all I think about,  
I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy it's more than I dare to think about,

It was Jasper this time. I didn't think he would because they always communicate in this weird silence, but it happened. 'Yeah Alice, you rock babe!!!'

Me and Alice twisted around each other and it was my turn to sing the first verse.

Every night, every day,  
Just to be there in your arms,  
Won't you stay,  
Won't you then stay forever,  
And ever and ever and ever,

La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la

During the La's I slowly fell back while Rose and Alice took the front again, I saw all three boys jump up when they heard snickers when I sang, they turned and glared at who I think was Mike Newton and his group.

'That's my Bella!!!' Edward shouted and right after both boys put a hand on his shoulder and screamed 'Woot! Yeah, Hells Bells!!!'

It took all I had to keep my composure. Rose and Alice sang the chorus together that time and I paraded up between them to sing the second verse.

I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy your lovin' is all I think about,  
I just can't get you out of my head,  
Boy it's more than I dare to think about,

There's a dark secret in me,  
Don't leave me locked in your heart,  
Set me free,  
Feel the need in me,  
Set me free,  
Stay forever,  
And ever and ever and ever,

We did the last La's together, we alternated 'I just can't get you outta my head.' Alice was first one the right, and sank to the floor clutching her hair, then Rosalie, I threw in a slight headbang grabbing my hair then and sank to the floor. Then we all leaned up on our knees and stole the eye contact from our men, with our last 'I just can't get you outta my head.'

We listened to the applause as the curtain started closing, I was filled with adrenaline and anticipation and in result my body was humming. That was until what I saw next. I caught the eyes of someone in the audience, my stomach plummeted and I had to run from the stage.

I found myself getting sick in the bathroom of our dressing room. It was mere seconds before Alice and Rose showed up pulling my hair back.

"What, what is it Bella, what's wrong? You were great, the first part is over! Wait, that's it isn't it? Now you have to go through with it? I knew it, Bella, listen you'll be..." Alice had ranted, but quickly stopped when I frantically started shaking my head.

"They're here," I gasped out.

"Who is here?" Rose asked.

I felt a sob arise in my throat, and I had to take a deep breath to get it out.

"My parents, they are here," I said quietly.

"Oh no," Alice said.

"Oh yes," I replied.

It was only moments later that Alice and Rose had me scraped off the floor, my teeth brushed, and were pulling me to the double doors that lead to the auditorium.

"We will just go sit with Carlisle and Esme, and if they want to try something, let them. Carlisle will take care of it," Rose assured me.

I sat down right next to Carlise, as Rose sat on my other side, then Alice and Esme. It seemed like only moments later, but I felt a firm had set on my shoulder. It startled me so much I grabbed onto Carlisle's arm, I glanced up and sure enough, Charlie.

I gasped, and in the back of my mind I realized I was squeezing the hell out of Carlisle's arm. Carlisle looked over at me and noticed the hand, and glanced to where I was looking. He narrowed his eyes at Charlie, before curtly asking 'May I help you?'

"I need to speak with my daughter if you don't mind," Charlie said shortly.

"I have nothing to say to you," I responded the same time that Carlisle responded with, "Now is not the time, Charlie."

"No, now is the perfect time," Charlie said through gritted teeth.

"Would you like to join us Carlisle, I'm sure this will only take a minute," I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure thing, Bella, " he said, taking my hand and leading me towards the back of the auditorium.

I wasn't too sad to be missing part of the show because the next few performances consisted of, two very lame skits, Lauren Mallory singing an asinine version of 'Pokerface,' and Jessica screeching out a Taylor Swift song.

I made it out into the brightly lit hallway and turned on Charlie.

"And what can I suppose you need from me right this second?" I asked shortly.

"Watch it Isabella, I am still your father," he replied.

"That can be changed," I retorted.

"Did you just move in with the Cullen's so that you could slut around with that boy?" Charlie replied coldly.

Something in me snapped and I could not hold back any longer.

"Slut around? Slut around? I have you know Charlie I haven't 'slutted' around with anybody. Yes EDWARD is my boyfriend, and no, that is not at all the reason I moved in with them, but I think you already know that. Really Charlie, you think that little of me? I'm glad to know that now, so I don't have to fuck around with forgiving the two of you. That's right Renee I see you hiding behind the door. You are really unfuckingbelievable Charlie you know that?" I was pushing him now, no really I was shoving that rat bastard backwards. He made to open his mouth, but I interrupted him.

"I moved out because you left me with that psychotic bitch who tried to shoot my fucking brains out. I moved out because you didn't care enough to stop her. You just ran like the pussy you are. Some chief of police you are, you can't even stand up for your daughter. And what if I do sleep with Edward? I have you know, I'm not a slut, I love him, I love his entire family, and when and if I decide to sleep with him I will, out of LOVE," I finished glaring at him.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I asked.

Then I noticed his eyes zero in on something. I glanced down, my tattoo, shit.

"You let her get a tattoo!?!" he shouted at Carlisle.

"It was Edward's birthday present to her, so yes I consented," Carlisle said calmly.

"The Cullen's are going to destroy you," Charlie said.

"Not if they destroy you first, Charlie. You shouldn't be here, go home," I replied.

"They will chew you up and spit you out when you don't live up to their standards," he said angrily.

"Maybe, but at least I can make since out of that. You and Renee don't have standards, and you killed me. So tell me father, whose the worse choice in this situation?"

"I have a show to put on, and a boyfriend to support onstage, so if that is all," I finished as I turned and walked back into the auditorium.

"Bella," Renee said from behind the door.

"Don't even try it mother," I said hastily, before making my way to my seat. I glanced back and Renee and Charlie took their seats in the back once again.

I glanced to the stage and I noticed Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, poking their heads out the curtain to the side of the stage, they were all giving me concerned looks. I just smiled and they quickly withdrew and let the curtain fall back into place.

A couple of seniors introduced our guys, and I had to laugh when I heard the song they had chose. 'Numa Numa Yei' by Ozone, the English version.

Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha

I couldn't help but to laugh at them, they were doing the same dance as the fat kid from youtube, they did change it to make it a little sexier and provocative, but I still noted the similarities. Edward sang the opening, and they guys joined in in the chorus.

I jumped to my feet and screamed 'That's my man! Go Edward!!!' earning a blush from him. I was quickly followed by Alice and Rose who screamed the same for Emmett and Jasper. That's right, payback is a bitch.

Hello, Salute, it's me your Duke,  
And I made something that's real,  
To show you how I feel,

Hello, Hello, it's me Picasso,  
I will paint my words of love,  
With your name on every wall,

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
I need a love to stay or,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday,

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
I need a love to stay or,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday,

It was Edward again who sang the next verse, with the guys joining in again at the chorus.

I sold my strings, my songs, and dreams,  
And I bought some paints to match the colors of my love,

Hello, Hello, it's me again, Picasso,  
I will spray my words of my love,  
With your name on every wall,

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
Little lover stay,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday,

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
Little lover stay,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday,

They all sang the rest together, doing their funny dance, I glanced over and saw Rosalie and Alice both busting up laughing, that's right they knew the video too. Also we had to laugh at their wardrobe, they were dressed in jeans, Adidas, and shirts that read 'Sorry girls, I'm taken.'

Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha  
Ma-Ya-Hi  
Ma-Ya-Hu  
Ma-Ya-Ho  
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
Little lover stay,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday,

When you leave my colors fade to gray,  
Little lover stay,  
All my colors fade away,  
Every word of love I used to say,  
Now I paint it everyday.

The song ended and Carl

sle and Esme joined us on their feet much like they did for me, Alice, and Rose. After they accepted their applause they left the stage and made their way to us, they stole our seats, but quickly pulled us to their laps.

I kissed Edward softly, and he pulled back lightly and looked in my eyes, with that look of concern.

"What, what's wrong babe?" I asked rubbing my thumb over his cheek.

"Did I see you and your parents together?" he asked. Shit, he saw that.

"Um, yes you did. Charlie approached me and demanded to talk to me. So we talked and I came back it. Really it's okay, I'll tell you about it later, it's no big deal," I answered, but then heard a snort beside me.

"Yeah, no big deal. He just asked you if you moved in with Carlisle and Esme so that you could openly fuck their son, and called you a slut," Rosalie said, and I sighed. Thanks a lot Rose, way to keep the evening light.

I felt Edward's hands ball into fists, and I could feel the anger permeating from his body. I ran my hand through his hair before tugging his head so his eyes met mine.

"It's okay, I'm fine, I shoved him around a little, and pretty much told him to fuck off. Really I am fine. I took care of it," I assured him. He relaxed visibly.

"You shouldn't have had to," he answered softly with a sigh, kissing my temple.

"I better get back there, I have to get changed, before my act," Edward said kissing me gently and easing me off his lap.

"Any hints?" I questioned.

"Nice try," Edward said with a smirk, before leaning forward and kissing me softly.

"Oh crap, I'm up almost right after you, I better go get changed also," I said, Rose and Alice jumped up with me. I started to walk away, but his hand circled my wrist and stopped me.

"Any hints?" he asked, and I just shook my head and smiled before walking away.

Alice and Rose helped me into my dress, and the rest of my wardrobe before donning their own.

I put the duster over the top and made sure that you couldn't see my dress, the only thing showing were my kick ass boots.

We made our way back out to sit by Carlisle and Esme. They announced Edward, and the curtains opened at the same time strains from the Clavinova began. I recognized the song right away and I felt my eyes tear up.

Before I knew what I was doing I was on my feet making my way closer to the stage. I rested my hands on the edge looking up at him. You would think I would be in the audiences way, but my shoulders were at the height of the stage, making my head the only thing above it.

I felt Rose and Alice next to me and and I chanced a glance over to them, both with their partners wrapped around them.

Edward started to sing and I couldn't it in any longer, a few stray tears leaked out. He made eye contact with me, and never removed it.

Tell me the truth, do you run away on purpose?  
Do you feel me getting close to you at all?  
I wanna know if I'm reading you correctly,  
Or if every instinct that I have is wrong.  
I've been fooled before...

But I've come so far  
And waited for so long for you to get here.  
And of all my scars,  
Only yours would tell the story,  
Of a girl worth fighting,  
Girl worth hurting for.

Maybe I'm wrong,  
Maybe I'm terribly mistaken.  
I've been terrible with learning from mistakes.  
But I don't belong in the dark here all alone.  
I've been blinded by the glow of paper flames.  
Yeah, I've been burned before...

But I've come so far  
And waited for so long for you to get here.  
And of all my scars,  
Only yours would tell the story,  
Of a girl worth fighting,  
Girl worth hurting for.

Always searching,  
Time can blame me.  
Seems unfair to wait.  
Always scheming,  
To see you dreaming.  
Seems unfair to wait.

'Cause I've come so far  
And waited for so long for you to get here.  
And of all my scars,  
Only yours would tell the story,  
Of a girl worth loving,  
Girl worth hurting for.

I gasped, he changed the lyrics, but only slightly. He changed the hurting to loving there, I would've been the only one to catch it, and I did. This wasn't a well known song, it was a band we had came across on myspace, and he knew I loved them. Mmmkay was rather awesome. He smiled, and I could only guess that he knew I caught it. He softly finished the song.

Tell me the truth, do you run away on purpose?  
Do you feel me getting close to you at all?

I felt another tear slip out. He stood and took his applause before coming to the edge of the stage and jumping off. He took me in his arms and kissed me deeply.

"Bella, I-" Edward started, but I swiftly placed my fingers over his mouth. He looked worried for a moment, but I just smiled tenderly.

"My turn," I smiled before kissing him softly and making my way backstage, all the others trailed after me, leaving Edward standing alone, earning a very confused look from him. I glanced back and let out a weary smile.

I removed my duster and set it aside backstage. I glanced through the side of the curtain, Esme came forward and pulled Edward back to the seats with her and Carlisle. Esme hand ahold of his hand, while Carlisle clapped his hand on his shoulder, and whispered something in his ear.

I retreated back behind the curtain and took my place. Emmett and Rose were to my left and Alice and Jasper were to my right. Then Angela and Ben were on opposite sides strapped with their acoustic guitars.

I took a deep breath as they announced our names, and the curtain rose as the guitars started. I took a couple of steps forward and instantly met Edwards eyes as he looked up for the first time. It was loud on stage, but I still heard the gasp that he let out as he rose to his feet.

I took another deep breath before I started to sing 'October' by Evanescence. (Background singers in parenthesis.)

I can't run anymore,  
I fall before you,  
Here I am,  
I have nothing left,  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am,  
Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it,  
Broken,  
Lifeless,  
I give up,  
You're my only strength,  
Without you,  
I can't go on,  
Anymore,  
Ever again.

I looked down and saw Edward the same place I had been in front of the stage, with Carlisle and Esme right behind him. I sang my heart out and as I finished the chorus, his stance faltered a little, and I saw his misty eyes.

My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.

I can't run anymore,  
I give myself to you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry,  
In all my bitterness,  
I ignored,  
All that's real and true,  
All I need is you,  
When night falls on me,  
I'll not close my eyes,  
I'm too alive,  
And you're too strong,  
I can't lie anymore,  
I fall down before you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry.

The emotion took over me and I felt myself fall to my knees, with my hand outstretched towards him, telling him I'm sorry. I wasn't sure what all for, maybe that it took me this long, took us this long to find each other through the veil of misery that we had been wearing for so long. Jasper and Emmett picked me up from the floor, it didn't look as pathetic as I thought, it looked rather choreographed.

My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.

Constantly ignoring,  
The pain consuming me,  
But this time it's cut too deep,  
I'll never stray again.

My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love,

My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.

I walked towards him, in the end before sitting on the edge of the stage, where he swiftly pulled the microphone from my hands and shut if off, pulling me into his arms. I glanced behind and noticed a lot of standing people all applauding. I smiled and gave a curt wave and I could feel my cheeks flushing.

Edward kissed me deeply before releasing my lips.

'Edward' I sighed into his shoulder, as he was hugging me tightly to his chest. He loosened his hold on me and pulled back, giving me once chaste kiss, before looking at me softly.

"I love you," he murmured, "I love you so much, Bella."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "I love you too, Edward."

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N:**

**Chapter 6: Cherry Sopranos and Onyx Tenors Playlist**

**  
1. Addictive- Truth Hurts**

**2. Pokerface-Lady Gaga**

**3. You Should Have Said No- Taylor Swift**

**4. 100 Years- Five For Fighting**

**5. Can't Get You Outta My Head- Kylie Minogue**

**6. Numa Numa Yei (English)- Ozone**

**7. ****WORTH HURTING FOR- MMMKAY**

**8. October- Evanescence**

**  
Reviews are more than welcome. Don't hesitate to ask questions.**

**  
I hope you continue reading. :)**


	8. Chapter 7: Cliche Boombox Serenade

**I do not own 'The Twilight Saga' bc if I did I would not be working at Burger King making less than minimum wage, living in an upstairs apartment, but hey I did just get me a newer car! AND it has a SPEEDOMETER…now that is luxury.**

For those of you readers who don't want to read about teenage relationships that involve having sex...*Gasp* I know you're seven chapters in and had no idea that it was leading to this...*shakes head* don't read. 

**  
I've had a couple reviewers requesting I put a ****WARNING**** on any ****CHAPTERS**** that contain ****SEXUAL SITUATIONS****...be that as it may...nearly ALL of my chapters are going to ****INVOLVE**** some kind of ****SEXUAL ACTIVITIES****...so if you do not approve ****DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER....AND**** if you ****DO**** then you are a ****PERV...JUST LIKE ME :) ******

And no not in a 'To Catch a Predator' type of way...that's right apparently I am a lethal sexual predator *insert sarcasm here*

I would appreciate if you would leave me feedback on my poems/playlists...I started writing poetry first and foremost about eight years ago, and have nearly 200 finished works, these are my poems intended to be read as Bella's.

Follow me on twitter CkKollman

Enjoy :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 7- Cliché Boombox Serenade

_"Hunger"_

Should we walk a little closer to the edge,  
Daring a look into depths unknown?  
Or shall we step back from the ledge,  
And watch as others coast down?  
Spiraling into oblivion,  
Never landing peaceful and content,  
Feet forever faltering,  
Not allowing their descent,  
When will this end?  
Should we buy tickets,  
To the second show,  
Of what is to be the aftermath,  
A life to never be shown,  
But to be in black and white,  
Forever exulting this behavior,  
Color is drained,  
Or maybe withheld,  
With intent to punish its pursuers,  
Only wanting to experience this,  
This range of emotion,  
Mandated by the hierarchy,  
Of which we bow,  
Controlling our every smile, laugh, tear,  
And agonizingly painful appeal,  
Please just let me experience,  
Whatever this is for myself,  
I beg of you,  
Color my heart, my eyes, my lips,  
Seeking this love, that never was,  
Never is, and never will be,  
But will forever be my plea,  
I only want to feel,  
Nothing but feeling itself,  
My core is numb,  
From this existence that is dulled,  
Without thoughts, emotion,  
Never allowed, always controlled,  
I only wish to bleed,  
For then I can finally acknowledge,  
The hunger of which is red.

**EPOV**

I was up on stage singing to Bella, and I knew the moment I did it that she noticed. She knew that I was proclaiming my love for her, and when I was finished I had to go to her, I had to hold her. I tried to tell her and when she stopped me, I panicked. Then she told me it was her turn, and my thundering heart slowed, before pounding away twice the speed, knowing that she had something to say to me also.

Mom and Dad pulled me down to sit between them. I felt Carlisle lean over to me. _You guys are perfect Edward. Don't let this go. I'm so proud of you._

I couldn't help but smile. Family approval is nine tenths of the tension in a relationship. This was going to be forever. It had to be, I just knew it.

The curtain opened, and Bella looked like an angel. Admittedly a dark sexy angel, but an angel none the less.

She began to sing, and I had heard the song before, but it was so overwhelming coming from her, with my friends and family backing her up. I couldn't help the gravitational pull she had on me as I made my way to the stage.

I could feel the joy radiating from my parents as they came up to stand behind me. When Bella was over took by emotion and fell unto the stage, claiming how sorry she was. I didn't know exactly for what, and I am assuming neither did she. Her pain, our pain and past was evident and I felt it with her, for her. I knew what she was saying and I knew that she knew that we understood each other as though we were a single being, molded into one.

She came to me and I pulled her from the stage, and I couldn't hold back from telling her. As such she told me. My whole body was buzzing and I felt this numbness, but not a bad numbness it was euphoria, coursing through my body.

The words were like bullets ricocheting around my mind, 'I love you too, Edward.' My heart was pounding in my chest and it swelled to an unworldly size. I gasped at the welcomed ache it was creating. I was just about to pull Bella back to me, but when I reached out, some one else pulled her quickly away.

My eyes snapped up to the thief, and my feet dug into the floor as they pounded across the auditorium. My body weaved between the bodies, there was no way I was letting anything ruin this for us. Not even Charlie Swan.

I could hear her shouts above the throngs of people. The show was still going, but people had risen from their seats to welcome our display of affection, and thus moved more with the commotion Charles Swan started.

"Charlie! Get your hands off me, NOW!!!" She was shouting, but I couldn't see her, I just raced towards the back to where I assumed she would be.

I burst through the doors the same time as Carlisle and Emmett, I was sure the rest weren't far behind. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I tried to shake it off, but it was determined.

"Edward, let me take care of this, I promise, I won't let anything happen to her," Carlisle pleaded.

"I'll get involved if I have to Carlisle," I resolved.

"Chief Swan, what may I ask is the problem here?" Carlisle asked calmly. Always the level headed one.

Charlie pretended to not hear him, and kept dragging Bella towards the front of the school. I could tell the hold he had on her forearm was painful, and more than likely would bruise her pale skin.

I heard a voice behind me, Esme had called the police, Charlie had better get his shit straight before his own deputy arrests him.

"Charles, I suggest you loosen your hold," I growled at him.

He ignored my words, but I saw his fingers let up slightly. It still wasn't enough, it was still hurting and it would still bruise.

"Charles, stop now. Esme has called your deputy. You had better stop now before you regret whatever it is you plan to do," Carlisle said coolly, he was starting to lose it and I knew if he lost it completely, Charlie didn't stand a chance.

Charlie turned abruptly with his threat. Spinning Bella roughly around with him. I could tell she was fuming. Her fists were tight and I knew it was taking all she had not to waylay him.

"Charlie, what are you doing?" Carlisle was searching for reasons.

"I'm taking my daughter back home with me, before she soils my reputation, and her own. You have her slutting around with your son, parading it around the school. You let her get a tattoo? What makes you a more suitable parent, huh?" Charlie replied quickly.

He had moved Bella in front of him, shaking her roughly with each claim he made, I could see the tears welling, and I started ascending forward. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Emmett had managed to get behind the chief and was just waiting for something to happen.

And it did.

Out of his rage he forgot everything he was doing, he let go of Bella and threw his hands up in the air in the middle of his rant.

She turned on him, her anger evident, and even if it wasn't so prominent to the others, I felt it coursing through me the same.

"You do not fucking touch me, Charlie! What right do you have? What makes you holier than thou, high and mighty and justified? I can't believe you!

I can't believe after everything you two have put me through you want to come in now and say I am destroying my life. So what if I am? What would it matter to you if I were slutting around?

Do you want me to? I can. I can fuck, and suck, and luck my way through life if you want. I can get knocked up, quit school, and deal meth if you want.

Tell me Charlie. What makes me good enough to be your daughter? Because I was making good grades, keeping to myself, I never got below an A-, I never had a first kiss, and you left. You fucking left Charlie. You left me with that CRAZY BITCH-"

I felt the surprise in Bella's voice, the word's fell from her lips, and she shrank back, as Charlie drew his hand back. At the same time Emmett pounced, but he wasn't fast enough.

Bella had turned her head, and Charlie's hand curled from her ear to the base of her skull from the force of his slap.

Her body flew the three or so feet to the side, the other side of her head connecting with the lockers as she slid to the floor. I was to her before she made it all the way down, and she didn't appear to be conscious.

Emmett had tackled Charlie to the floor, and it took all of Carlisle's wisdom to stop Emmett's fist from connecting with the chief's jaw. I could tell though if it were anyone else, he wouldn't have stopped him. His jaw was clenched and his face was beet red. I could see his body moving as if the air was humming around him.

"Keep him here," Carlisle managed through his teeth to Emmett.

He knelt down beside me, I had Bella's unconscious form sat in my lap. Her head was rested on my shoulder and I was brushing her hair from her face.

"Bella, sweetie, can you hear me?" I asked her softly.

There was no response at first. Carlisle felt her neck, and murmured that it was fine.

"Bella, honey please wake up," Carlisle pleaded. He placed his cool doctor hands on her throat and rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. I kissed her forehead lightly, and I felt her eyelashes flutter against my cheek.

"I'm awake, but my fucking head hurts like I dived head first into a wall," she said, and then she opened her eyes fully and looked up, "Oh, well that makes sense then I guess."

"Let me at him, Imma break his fucking nose..." she murmured softly, trying to crawl out of my lap.

Carlisle and I just laughed.

Our laughter abruptly stopped as we saw blood.

We moved her hair back and found that, the force of Charlie's blow and the connection with the lockers had knocked some of her earrings out, and tore one of her industrials slightly.

"They will be fine. She'll just have to treat it with peroxide, and let it heal," Carlisle assured me.

"Do you think she has a concussion?" I asked.

"Well she was knocked out, so probably a little one," Carlisle responded.

"Oh please, I wasn't knocked out, I just stayed quiet hoping you two would shut the fuck up. My head was hurting and I wanted quiet," Bella said, pouting and getting a little more coherent.

Carlisle and I shook our heads and laughed yet again, sounds about right.

"Just make sure she stays awake for awhile, and wake her up, every once in awhile tonight," he explained.

"I think I can manage that," I said with a smirk.

At that Deputy Smith walked in the door, along with two of the other Fork's police officers. "What's going on here guys," Deputy Smith asked, slightly irritated. Must have interrupted his nightly checkers game.

Emmett turned, having been quiet the whole time and decided to explain. "Well the chief here, drug his daughter out, decided to take a swing at her and laid her the fuck out, and if it were for my dad the good doctor over there, I would have reciprocated the action. Instead I'm holding this bastard down until the likes of you get here," Emmett said pointedly.

"Chief Swan, is this the truth?" the deputy asked exasperatedly.

The chief sighed and muttered 'something along those lines.'

"Carlisle, would you like to press charges on behalf of Bella towards Charlie?" Deputy Smith asked.

Carlisle scratched at his chin a minute in contemplation, "I haven't decided Bella, what do you think?"

"Carlisle, may I talk to you?" Bella asked, signaling for him to come closer.

She whispered to him, but I could still hear her.

"Honorary, adoptee right?" Carlisle nodded. "What about official...blackmail," Bella inquired. My eyes widened, Carlisle coughed to cover a laugh.

"I like how you think," Carlisle agreed.

"Excuse me, may I talk to the chief alone?" Carlisle implored.

They agreed, and Carlisle proceeded to blackmail and threaten Charlie.

"If you don't agree Charlie, I will file assault charges, and you've disobeyed a court order. You can kiss your career goodbye, and welcome prison. Or you can sign the papers like a good little boy, and go about your ways. Without involving Bella," Carlisle growled out mere inches from Charlie's face.

Charlie gave a curt nod.

"If you think this is the end Carlisle..." Charlie trailed off.

"Oh, it's the end Charles, officer's." Carlisle signaled and the officers made their way back into the hallway.

"We decided not to press charges, but please make sure that the chief keeps his distance from my family," he finished walking back to us.

**BPOV**

Edward helped me from the floor and hugged me tightly to his body. "Are you sure you are alright, baby? We don't have to finish the show, we can just tell Miss Mo...." he was mid-sentence, but I didn't give him a chance to finish.

"No just let me pop a few Tylenol, and we'll go in and sing the finale, then we can go home," I said as I smiled up at him. I bounced up to my tiptoes and pecked his jaw, before clasping his hand in mine and pulled him back towards the auditorium.

I stayed in my dress because honestly I didn't give a fuck, and I wasn't really in the mood to change. We made it backstage and took our places, the curtain rose, the music started, and I began to sing the lyrics, with a whole new view on what they meant.

It was odd, I opened my mouth to sing with the rest of the chorus, and only my voice was heard, I glanced around and over half the chorus had backed to the backup mics, I felt fingers intwine with mine on both sides. I glanced left to right, Alice and Edward were there, but it was just us. The whole chorus had joined hands, and they were letting me take the wheel....and steer.

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear  
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear  
Take the wheel and steer

It's driven me before and seems to have a vague  
Haunting mass appeal,  
But lately I'm beginning to find that I  
Should be the one behind the wheel

Throughout the verses they let me sing, only providing backup, but I was nearly blown away by the enthusiasm they brought to the chorus. The audience began to stand and I thought they were going to attempt an early exit. Instead cell phones and lighters flew to the air, as they swayed in harmony and began to sing the chorus with us.

Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes yea  
Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there, I'll be there

So, if I decide to waiver my chance  
To be one of the hive  
Will I choose water over wine  
And hold my own and drive?  
Aah ah ooo

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way  
That everyone else gets around  
But lately I'm beginning to find that when  
I drive myself my light is found

It was overwhelming, but I figured out that the chorus or at least some other people must have seen some stuff go down with Charlie, they understood, and they were there for me. It felt amazing, I leaned back into the frame that had molded itself around my back, his arms clasped at my middle, Emmett had taken his place at my side, and gave me a wide grin.

Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes yea  
Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there, I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine?  
Hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes yea  
Whatever tomorrow brings  
I'll be there, I'll be there

We accepted a huge applause, and made our way off stage as Miss Mo then thanked everyone for coming. I walked around the auditorium my hand in Edward's, swinging them playfully and peacefully between us, no matter what had happened before.

I pulled him around and clasped my hands around his neck, bringing his lips level with mine. "Take me home, Edward, I just want to go home," I whispered against his lips.

"Mmmkay baby, let's go," he murmured before taking my bottom lip between his own, then deepening the kiss.

He released me, and headed towards the doors. "Emmett, yo can you and Rose drop us off, before you guys head over to her place, please," Edward pouted.

"That works better for Bella, but yeah come on," Emmett sighed playfully.

We got back to the house and the place was empty. I knew that Alice and Emmett were going to be staying at the Hale's, but I didn't know where Carlisle and Esme were. Edward sensed my hesitation, but assured me that they were catching a late movie showing at the old theatre in Port Angeles, and wouldn't be back until really late.

Edward lead me up the stairs, but stopped me outside of his door, he was tugging at his hair excessively and I could tell he was extremely nervous. I reached out and pulled his wrist until he let go of his hair and held his hand in both of mine.

"I want this to be special, and I wanted it to be all romantic and show you how much I love..." he was mid-sentence again, he just didn't know when to shut the fuck up. I shut him up with my lips.

"You don't have to show me something I can already see, and I don't need the theatrics. I don't need some cliché boombox serenade to show declaration of your love. You already do so much, I love you for it, and I love you for wanting to do all of that, but I don't need it. I just need you, so bad, please," the last part became a murmur as I was lost in his kisses again.

He reached behind me and turned the handle of the door. He then broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine.

"I did what I could, without overdoing it, I just love you, so turn around and go into our room," he ordered, and I'm not going to lie, every time he says 'our' my stomach does little flip-flops.

I turned and stepped into the room and took a look around, there were no rose petals, but there were some candles strewn across the dressers, I'm assuming he had Alice come back and light them, that girl is a sucker for romance.

That wasn't all though, he took some pictures of us that I had said we should frame, framed them and set them up as permanent fixtures throughout 'our' room. Now I understand. He's making me know that I am expected to be here at all times. I am so very okay with that. The bed was made down, I saw him reach for the remote to the ihome and soft music played quietly throughout the room.

I'm a girl so as expected a few light tears gathered in my eyes, and I turned to Edward, and with my hands on his cheeks and my lips to his lips I murmur my thanks, before I started kissing him lovingly.

His hands slid up my waist and over my arms, before he gently took my wrists in his hands, and pulled me to the bed, sitting me on the edge.

He knelt before me and started to unlace my boots, before effectively sliding them off altogether, when he finished I leaned forward, giving him a slow kiss, pushing his plaid shirt over his shoulders.

He already removed his boots and socks and was standing before me in his jeans hung low on his hips, and a tight white undershirt gracing his upper-body.

He took my hand and stood me back up, hugging me tightly to his body before tilting my head up, and kissing his way from my mouth to me ear and down my neck. His hands circled my waist and ran up my back until they landed on the zipper of my dress.

He delicately started releasing the zipper and I smiled as I felt the dress slackening against me. I undid the buttons on his jeans, and ran my hands up under his shirt. I released him and stepped back.

Edward gazed at me mesmerized as I hooked a finger through the first strap, and freed my arm. Then I held the dress in place, and removed the other strap. I glanced up at Edward and smiled gently. He probably thought I was being shy, which maybe I was a little, but I was also aware of what I was wearing under the dress...and he wasn't.

I released the dress, and it fell to a puddle at my feet, in the same moments he drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

"Bella love, are you trying to kill me. This is just, you didn't have to, I love you without all the lace and uh shit, but um fuck...you look amazing," Edward fumbled out. I may have felt a little ridiculous, but I knew he was just concerned about my comfort. Actually though it was rather comfortable, and it was definitely a confidence booster.

I had on this one piece thing that had a red and black lace bra and like boyshorts, but they were all attached as one item from under the bust to the shorts there was black net and red ribbon lacing trailing down under from each breast. I had garter straps attached from the shorts to my black net stockings accented with red bows. It looked rather hot together, my main fear had been what Edward would think of it.

I bit my lip, but he brushed his thumb under it, causing me to release it. "Mind your piercing, beautiful," he whispered. I reached forward and slowly pulled them hem of his shirt up until he raised his arms, and let me lift it off up and over his head.

I circled my arms around his shoulders and weaved my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. Our lips met and it was heated, but not rushed. Edward lowered me down to the bed, and I scooted back to the pillows as he crawled over to me, hovering cautiously above me. I grabbed him and pulled him down to me, he rested on his forearms as not to squish me.

He pushed the hair out of my face, and kissed me gently, slow little pecks all over my face, until he made it to my lips. He pecked them twice, before gently taking my upper lip between his own, then teasing with his tongue. I of course obliged and opened for him. My tongue met his as we lazily kissed.

His fingers of his left hand threaded into my hair, cradling the base of my neck as he deepened the kisses, as our breaths grew heavy, and we had to eventually come up for air, but he didn't stop, his hand at my neck tilted my head back and he began trailing open mouth kisses over my jaw and down my throat.

He kissed over my collar bone and then lower dipping his tongue beneath the lace before curling his fingers around it on both sides and slowly pulling it down until both of my breasts were exposed. His tongue circled my already taut nipple, sucking and nipping gently, as his hand kneaded, pinched and pulled at the other.

My back arched off the bed, as my fingers weaved through his hair, silently asking for more. He didn't give more though, he leaned back and was knelt between my legs. His hand guided my right ankle up and over his shoulder as he leaned forward, released the garter straps, and started rolling my stockings down my leg, trailing kisses as he went.

He repeated the process with my left leg, and when he was finished he rested the left foot on the bed, and ran his hands smoothly up my legs, over my shorts, and to my rib-cage, where he grasped the netting and lace in his hands and slowly started lowering it. He trailed open mouth kisses down my torso, dipping his tongue into my navel as he went.

He hovered at my navel a few moments and I looked down expecting hesitation, but I was met with a slight smirk. I raised an eyebrow at him and he nipped at the tender skin there.

"Don't pierce this, this is fucking perfect and delicious the way it is," he concluded nipping at it again.

"Mmm...Edward I won't, I promise..." I moaned out.

He continued to unwrap me, nipping and sucking gently at the tender skin above my hip bones, and lower above where my pussy was between abdomen and thigh. I nearly came at the sensation.

"Edward, I want you baby. Please come to me," I begged holding my arms out for him.

He pulled my garment the rest of the way off, and his jeans quickly followed. He came up hovering above me again. I took his lips hungrily, trailing my hands down his chest and around his back. My nails scraped lightly down his shoulder blades and back until my hands rested on his hips.

I dipped my fingers under the cotton of his boxer briefs, pushing them down over the curve of his ass. I pushed them the rest of the way down with my feet and kicked them to the floor.

He kissed me gently pulling away slightly. "Are you sure you're still feeling alright?" he asked running his knuckles lightly down my cheek.

"I've honestly never felt better, more at home, I love you," I told him honestly and sincerely.

"I love you, too baby...are you sure you are ready?" he questioned, catching my eyes.

I nodded, biting my lip, but still failing at hiding my smile.

"It's going to hurt, baby. Probably not going to be very enjoyable. Even with all my...um preparation, I'm not going to last, I just don't want to disappoint you..." He said, frantically starting to ramble.

I just placed a finger to his lips and told him to listen.

Take the blame off your back  
It's a burden you don't own  
Lay your head in my arms and I will be your home  
You can't carry this alone

I just want to love you  
I don't want to change you or judge you  
I just want to love you but  
darling you have to learn to love you too

The strange familiar poured through the speakers, saying everything that we intended to mean. Edward captured my lips, before pulling back and situating himself above me. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. I felt the head of his cock brush against my lower lips. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Giving a slight smile, with a curt nod I signaled that he should proceed.

He pushed forward slightly, letting out a short breath and the tip of him was in. It was a tight fit, but nothing too bad. He pushed a little further letting out a small groan that I couldn't help but join, it felt good, it wasn't hurting yet, but I felt him brush my barrier and he stilled.

I don't count every line this life has carved in you  
the beauty lies in these eyes  
cause I can see the truth  
I see the strength in you

I just want to love you  
I don't want to change you or judge you  
I just want to love you  
But darling you have to learn to love you too  
I just want to love you

He rested his forehead against mine, taking deep shallow breaths. He was hesitating, I knew that he didn't want to do me any harm. I was going to have to persuade him to continue. It had to have been taking a lot of control not to move.

I slid one hand from his shoulder blade down his arm, and entwined my fingers with his. My left hand came up and cupped his cheek. I placed a soft kiss to his lips, another to his left cheek, and whispered to him softly. "I love you, it's okay. Just do it, baby. I'm yours."

He blew out his breath hard. His voice was raspy, but he gave up the fight. "I love you, too. I'm so sorry," he murmured. His hips thrust forward gently, and he was fully sheathed within me. I felt my mouth open to let out a small scream, but nothing came out, the air caught in my throat. I closed my eyes tightly and breathed through my nose.

It stung that was for sure, but it wasn't too bad, as soon as my thundering heart calmed some, my breathing slowed and I was able to proceed. I moved gently showing him that I was ready to continue. He pulled out slowly, and started with slow shallow thrusts, until I started bringing my hips up to meet his.

You've had your had  
Your mass in stone  
But you don't have to be alone  
The thousands lives you could have lived  
But you're the only one you still need to forgive

I just want to love you  
I don't want to change you or judge you  
I just want to love you  
I just want to love-ove you

I just want to love you  
I dont want to change you or judge you  
I just want to love you  
but darling you have to learn to love you too.  
love you...love you...

I started letting out small moans, and he was kissing me, my throat, whispering words of love to me and I was mesmerized at how he felt inside of me. He was perfect.

"Baby, I love you, but I'm not going to last much longer," Edward rasped lightly. I looked into his eyes taking his lips between my own, and he groaned. I knew he wanted to get me off, but I really just cared about his satisfaction. He wasn't having that though. The hand he had rested at my hip grazed over my pussy.

I felt his thumb rub gently over my clit, before he added a little more pressure, circling it like he knows I love. I bit my lip and arched my back, I couldn't help it, it felt way too good.

"Don't bite that lip, love. I want to hear you, please, let me hear how I make you feel," Edward pleaded.

I gasped. "Edward, fuck. I'm so close, you feel so good," I moaned out.

"Me too baby, you're so tight. I need you to come for me baby, please..." he pleaded.

I felt him get unbelievably harder inside of me, and he hit that place just perfectly and I felt the coil start to unravel, my legs were trembling.

"Yes Edward, mmmm yeah....yes...yes...Edwaaaard!" I screamed. My whole body rose off the bed just my head and toes touching the mattress and I came harder than ever around Edward's cock.

His hands were supporting my lover back and he was loosing his control. He was thrusting into me quickly and slightly off pace, it only took a few more thrusts and he stilled, his head fell to my shoulder and he was breathing heavily into my skin as I felt him spill inside of me.

"Bella, fuck baby, I love you," he said between spurts of breath. He released me gently back down to the bed, and I pulled him down on top of me. Holding him tightly to my chest as I ran my fingers through his slightly matted, sweaty hair. My breathing was almost back to normal and his was starting to slow. He was placing gentle kisses to my chest, and I felt him shift slightly beside me before we both drifted off to sleep.

**  
EPOV**

I awoke to the bright morning sun peaking though the window, wrapped tightly around my Bella. As soon as I closed my eyes again I had to stifle a groan as not to wake her. After a few moments breathing her in, I slowly slid from the bed and tucked her tightly into the covers, as so she wouldn't realize I had left.

I slipped on a pair of pajama pants and my tshirt from last night and snuck into the bathroom for a moment before making my way to the kitchen and grabbing myself something to drink. I poured me a tall glass of orange juice and made my way to my fathers office on the second story. The door was slightly cracked and I could tell that he was there so I softly knocked my knuckles against the door frame.

I heard a soft 'Come in' and I pushed the door lightly open before closing it behind me. He was on the phone and gestured for me to go ahead a take a seat. It was only a few seconds later that he said his goodbyes and placed the receiver back down, effectively disconnecting the call.

"Good morning Edward, did you have a nice night last night?" he asked me with a wide smirk gracing the width of his face. I blushed and ducked my head, but nodded all the same.

"That I did, it was very nice....I guess I would say amazing even," I smiled, trying not to linger to long on any of the memories of last night. I would save those for later.

"And how is Bella this morning, is she feeling alright?" he asked me softly.

"She is still sleeping, though I laid a glass of water and some aspirin on the side table for her," I told him back. I knew that she would be sore having had the night she had with the head injury, and then also losing her virginity, that's why I chose to let her remain sleeping. Just one of those things would have worn someone out, so I knew she would be completely exhausted.

"You take such good care of her, I'm so proud of you for that. I can tell that you love her so very much, so deeply even at your young age. That feat is amazing in and of itself. That is why I haven't ever seen the need to interfere. You guys are so good for each other," Carlisle whispered with a gleam in his eyes.

"I do love her, more than I ever thought possible. It hurts to be away from her. Last night, just made it all the more real. I just don't see myself without her, she's my best friend, and so much more," I whispered, blushing slightly at the fact that I just admitted that to my father.

"I assume you came here this morning to talk about more than your cherry being popped, I'm guessing you wanted to talk about what happened last night?" Carlisle smirked as he questioned me.

My head popped up as my face got redder and redder, but I still couldn't help but to laugh at my fathers joke. "Yes I was wondering what all needed to be done about the adoption, the details and how long it would take," I replied.

"Well I called our lawyer this morning and had the paperwork started. We just have to get Charlie and Renee to sign it in front of the lawyer, and then we have to present it to a judge. I had it arranged that they don't have to be at the hearing, since Esme and myself already have temporary custody of Bella. There's only one thing left that I am not sure about..." Carlisle trailed off in a whisper his brows furrowing in thought.

"And what might that be?" I whispered back, slightly panicked.

"Well I'm sure that Bella would love to change her last name, and I know she would be honored to be a 'Cullen', but I don't think she would want the last name, well not unless she naturally received it..." Carlisle quickly said trailing off at the end.

It took me a few moments to catch on to what he was saying and when I figured it out my head snapped up and I felt my eyes widen so huge that I swear I probably looked like some anime cartoon or whatever that shit is that Emmett watches.

"You want us to get married!?!?" I said a little louder than I had intended, but fuck you can't just like drop that on a person.

He snorted and shook his head quickly. "No I don't want you to get married, well at least not yet. Maybe a few or so years down the line, but definitely not now. No, but what I am saying is she probably wants to change her name, but doesn't want to become a 'Cullen' if or unless you guys did get married one day," he finished.

"Okay I see your point there...so what is the solution?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well I thought that maybe, she uh...mightwanttobecomeaMasen," Carlisle spouted off so quickly it took me a second to catch up with what he said.

I gasped, and drew in a sharp breath. My heart clinched a little thinking about Bella sharing my childhood name, what she could have, would have been had my parents not passed, and we still found our way to each other. My mind stumbled over the name back and forth testing it out for good measure. My Bella Swan as Isabella Marie Masen. Then maybe one day Isabella Marie Masen-Cullen, Bella Cullen. It sounded better than I thought it should to me at this point, it sounded beautiful, perfect.

"I love it, but the decision is up to her. She can drop that last name for all I care and just be Bella Marie, but as long as she is here and there is no chance of her going anywhere, I am fine with where ever her choice lies," I told him truthfully.

"I guess we should have a meeting then to discuss it and we can ask her then. Just myself and Esme and you and Bella though. I don't want the whole squad trying to fire their opinions at her. It is her choice, so after she wakes maybe after lunch, we can talk about it?" Carlisle asked me.

I nodded and left him to his paperwork. I made my way back upstairs and slipped quietly back into our room, where Bella was still fast asleep. I sat on the edge of the bed considering whether to crawl back in with her and dose for a while longer, or to wake her to the morning. I glanced to the clock and saw that it was only seven-thirty. I can't believe I even woke when I did!

I sat there a few moments longer and softly brushed her hair from her face. Seeing her sprawled out on 'our' bed, her hair wildly strewn across her pillow, she was naked except for the sheets that were pulled up to her chin and tangled throughout her legs, she looked heavenly, like and angel, she was my angel.

I leaned down and softly touched my puckered lips to her forehead, eyelids, the apples of her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her chin, and then finally her sweet sweet lips. 'Edward' she sighed, though she did not awaken. Hearing her voice say my name was the most heavenly music, and it brought a smile to my face.

I felt that I shouldn't bother her anymore and I made my way to my side of the bed. I gently tugged the blankets that I had tucked under her earlier and made my way underneath, deciding to leave my clothing on the floor once again. I spooned behind her and drifted peacefully asleep yet again.

It was several hours later, but I started to rouse from my sleep feeling fingers brushing through my hair, and lips pressing softly against mine. I peaked an eye open and found myself nuzzled to Bella's breasts and neck, my arm thrown across her torso, and my leg wrapped around both of hers. She smiled down at me and I returned the smile.

She bent down and kissed me softly again, but this time with me reciprocating. I felt her tongue tentatively peak out to trace my lip, and I eagerly deepened the kiss. I pulled away and nodded to the nightstand containing my morning after remedy. The water and the aspirin. We'd have to work on perfecting it.

She downed the pills, but assured me that she only felt a little stiff, but other than that she was okay. She pulled my face back down to hers and her right leg fell open showing me she wanted me to move between them. I threw my right leg between her thighs to join my left and gently ground against her.

She moaned softly and it went straight to my dick. I dropped my head to her shoulder trying to reason with myself that she needed to re-cooperate and couldn't possibly be able to go again comfortably. She continued to rub her heat against my aching member, and I felt her fingers scratch at the nape of my scalp before tugging gently on my hair, telling me to raise my head.

Her eyes met mine, and she looked at me deeply under her lust filled hooded eyes, and murmured 'I am fine, really I am, please I need you' and that was all the reassurance I needed. I captured her lips with mine, before trailing hot wet kissed down her neck and collar bone, descending upon her breast and taking her taut nippled between my teeth and tugging gently. I released it from my teeth and sucked it into my mouth slowly twirling my tongue around it.

My right hand traveled down and I ran my middle finger along her folds before dipping it inside and finding her dripping wet. I groaned loudly resting my forehead against hers as my breathing sped up quickly matching the pace of her own. I teased her entrance before gracefully sliding my finger slowly in and out of her before trailing it up to her clit and around it in slow tight circles. her hips started circling the opposite way, speeding the pace, I could feel that she was getting close so I pulled back, and let out a small laugh as she whimpered.

"Edward, please baby, I love you, and I need you..." she trailed off in a whisper, I blew out a breath as my heart thudded against my chest hearing her confession.

I leaned up and looked into her eyes, "I love you and need you too, baby....so so much," I glanced back and forth making sure she heard and understood my sincerity. She smiled widely at me and I ducked my head and kissed her softly once more before pulling back and looking into her eyes as I rocked my hips forward and felt my tip enter her.

She gasped but rocked her hips up the same time I teetered again and we connected so deeply. She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me rough and passionately rocking her hips quickly into mine. 'Faster' she whimpered, 'Harder' I groaned and decided to try something Emmett told me would be an 'acceptional newby position' as he so lovingly called it.

I leaned back and sat on my heels, and as I did so I hit inside of her at a completely new angle and we both groaned loudly. I guided Bella's legs up so her ankles rested above my shoulders. I lifted her by the small of her back until her ass rested high on my thighs and I was so deep within her, filling her to the hilt. My hands held purchase on her upper thighs and as I started pounding into her, her back arched off the bed creating a delicious new angle.

Her hands flew to her breasts giving me the sexiest view ever, and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. I slid my right hand over just a few more inches, before dipping my thumb into her heat and circling her clit quickly.

Her back arched further and I slipped deeper and she screamed, not quite blood curdling, but fucking satisfying. "Edwaaaard, fuck...so deep, so fucking deep baby, harder...yeah...oh god yeah...fuuuuck," she panted and screamed and moaned, and then her walls tightened signaling she was about to lose it.

"Oh fuck Bella...baby so tight....fuck yes...fuuuuck....come for me baby...COME!" I growled before I thrusted into her deeply while simultaneously pinching her clit, and a little less than gently bit the soft place on the underside of her knee. It wasn't even a heartbeat later when her walls clinched tightly down on my cock, and milked my orgasm and seed from my body.

I let her legs fall open to the side and I collapsed on top of her, but on my forearms as not to smother her. My forehead rested on her shoulder and we both panted for air.

"Oh...My...God," Bella panted out. I let out a breathy laugh.

"I've been called many things before, but I'm really starting to like this whole God reference," I said smugly. She narrowed her eyes at me and lightly slapped me on the chest, but giggled all the same.

I pulled her up and we went to the shower. We showed quickly without too much fanfare, got dressed and made our way downstairs for lunch.

Esme was just setting out the finishing touches and gave us a wide smile when we entered the room. She came over after setting the last dish down and pulled me down into a hug, then reached over and did the same to Bella placing her hand on her cheek before kissing the other and whispering that she looks radiant.

Of course Bella blushed, and Esme chuckled a little. I just pulled my Bella closer to me and placed a kiss on the top of her head. She snuggled up to my side and sighed in contentment.

"Well, the food isn't getting any warmer, so why don't we all sit down and eat?" Esme suggested so we did, and when we were done, Emmett and Alice cleared the plates and took them to wash so that we could have our partial family meeting.

We made our way to the den and Bella and I sat comfortably on the love seat, while Carlisle sat on one of the leather chairs and Esme sat on the arm of the chair and placed a loving arm around his shoulders.

They proceeded to tell Bella about how the adoption would go, and then Carlisle signaled that I should help explain about the name change.

We told her first that it was completely okay to keep the chief's last name, and she scoffed at the idea, saying how she never felt like family to them. Then he mentioned 'Cullen' and her face lit up before she cringed a little. Carlisle saw this and nodded to me telling me this was my cue.

"Bella, we've also found a third alternative, that is if you would like..." I trailed off slightly panicking and unsure of myself. Carlisle nodded and I took a deep breath, as she whispered 'And what is that?' hesitantly.

I held her hand between both of mine and blew out the breath I was holding. "I would be honored and I am sure my parents would have been honored if you would accept my birth name...Masen."

She gasped as tears filled her eyes, she placed a hand unto my cheek and looked into my eyes for sadness or hesitation of any kind, but she found none. "Are you sure?" she questioned, and I had never felt so sure in my life. I nodded my head, unable to speak, and she crashed her body to my own, pulling me into a tight hug where she clung to me tightly, rocking us back and forth.

"I would be so honored to be a Masen, Edward!!!" She whispered beneath the tears, and she kissed me softly.

I smiled at her, my eyes a little misty from the whole situation, remembering my parents and how much they would have loved her. I wiped the tears from her face, and kissed her softly one more time.

We pulled back and glanced back over to my adoptive parents, who were both misty eyed as well. Bella got up and crossed the small space nearly placing herself in both Carlisle and Esme's laps, hugging then tightly and murmuring her thanks.

It only took about a week and a half, but the papers were signed, and Bella was allowed to retrieve the majority of her things from Charlie and Renee's, and she was officially, Isabella Marie Masen, or Bella Masen as she preferred.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N:**

**Chapter 7: Cliché Boombox Serenade Playlist**

**  
1. Worth Hurting For- Mmmkay (Trailed over from Chapter 6)**

**2. Family Portrait- Pink**

**3. Drive- Incubus**

**4. I Just Want to Love You- The Strange Familiar**

**5. This is Home- Switchfoot**

Reviews are more than welcome. Please don't hesitate to ask questions.

I hope you continue reading :)


	9. Chapter 8: October is 4 Witches&Harlots

**My name is not Stephanie Meyer, and I do not own 'The Twilight Saga'.**

**For those of you who haven't realized this yet, this story has SEXUAL CONTENT and STRONG LANGUAGE and in some cases VIOLENCE...*gasp* I know big shocker there.**

**FIRST OF ALL, I would like y'all to welcome my new beta, Danna...or danna0724 if you are so inclined, she's the best bitch ever!!! no joke.**

**Okay, so I thought I would put some explanations here, we are going to start covering wider time intervals, some chapters may cover months, but don't worry we're nowhere close to done, Danna has insured me by my outline that I'll probably push out at least 30 chapters for this story.**

**Also, this is not going to be happy go lucky, I'm a teenager getting away with a lot, because my parents suck, and I have no consequences. Shit will catch up to them, but there will be a HEA, no worries.**

**Check out my other story Persuading Daniel, I will be updating hopefully within the next few days since this chapter is done kicking my ass, so look out for that.**

**AND if I'm a good little girl and can prove that I can multitask, maybe me and Danna will start our collaboration...Beyond the Fields :D**

*******PLEASE READ THE POEMS I HAVE INCLUDED, AND ON MY PROFILE ARE THEIR COSTUMES, HOMECOMING OUTFITS, AND THE MUSIC YOU WILL NEED TO FULLY EXPERIENCE THIS CHAPTER.**

**ALSO, I SUGGEST YOU LISTEN TO _I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU_ BY BLINK 182 (SONG ON PROFILE) AS YOU ARE READING THAT PART OF THE STORY. IT MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE INTENSE.*******

**Without much further adieu...**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 8- October is for Witches and Harlots

_"October is for Witches and Harlots"_

_You may hide yourself,  
Beneath your makeup and fake composure,  
But behind the curtains,  
I know what you've done,  
Your hands descending upon a body,  
Which isn't yours,  
To touch,  
Feeling no remorse,  
But left empty inside,  
Nothing to fill the void,  
In your body, heart, and mind,  
You can wear a mask,  
On Halloween,  
But they'll still know,  
Exactly who you are,  
October is for witches,  
Harlots blanching as their ex-lovers,  
Caress and love their wives,  
The mothers of their children,  
The one's who were worthy,  
Shamed by your own reflection,  
The truth reverberates against the walls,  
As you scream yourself asleep yet again,  
Only to wake in tears,  
Knowing the only way to subdue the pain,  
Is to look for a wedding band,  
And slide to your knees,  
Yet again,  
Harlot. _

**BPOV**

_Harlot._

I closed my notebook and set it and my pencil to the side with a huge grin on my face. I always feel...I don't know 'relieved' I guess when I finish a new work. We were descending upon Halloween, and were throwing a party at the Cullen house. The title of the poem just popped in my head...so I went with it.

Alice and I were going costume hunting Saturday, well I guess that is tomorrow, so tomorrow then, but for now I had finished homework and was just goofing around. Edward was somewhere around playing some basketball with the guys. Things were going well, and I couldn't be any happier.

I heard the door knob turn awhile later and realized I had fallen asleep, I glanced at the clock and it read 7:00 pm.

Edward came in looking very fine and sweaty, and I couldn't help that my stare lingered on him just a little longer than necessary. He quirked an eyebrow at me and I just smirked back at him.

"Mom, says that supper will be in about a half an hour," he told me and I just nodded, still ogling him, unabashedly.

"Don't look at me like that, when you look at me like that I want to pounce on you, and I can't because I'm all sweaty," he sighed with a small laugh.

"I don't mind that you're sweaty in the least," I told him as I crawled to the end of the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissing him soundly, not hesitating before adding tongue.

He groaned and laid me back while hovering his body over mine. I wasn't having any of that, I tightened my legs around his waist and pushed his body flush with mine. I could taste his sweat mingling with just the taste of him, and it was spectacular.

After a few moments our breathing became labored and he departed my lips, leaving open-mouthed kisses down my chin, neck, and the exposed amount of cleavage that showed with my v neck t shirt. His hands framed my sides by my breasts while his thumbs grazed my nipples, he ran his hands roughly down my sides to my hips, while grinding into me.

He wrapped his arms around to my back and lifted me from the bed. "Shower with me," he asked/demanded, while carrying me into the bathroom. We stripped as fast as we could, and jumped into the hot shower.

After a slightly lengthy shower filled with wandering hands and mutual pleasure, we made our way down for dinner. Esme had just finished setting the table and we were actually the first to arrive. The others appeared moments later and we proceeded to eat.

"What are you girls thinking of doing for your costumes?" Esme asked us generally curious.

"Well the boys gave us permission to choose theirs, as long as they weren't embarrassing, and we wanted to at least do matching couples if not a group theme," Alice explained before continuing, "Bella and I were thinking maybe Wizard of Oz or she is more partial to Alice in Wonderland."

"Well that sounds really fun girls, I can't wait to see them," Esme replied.

* * * * * * * * *

The next morning we found ourselves eyes deep in costumes, costume jewelry, feather boas, masks, and everything you could imagine.

Then I caught sight of what seemed to be a pink flamingo club, and I flailed like a fairy trying to get to the effin' thing. I got over to it and pulled it out and stumbled upon the plethora of costumes that we in no doubt were looking for.

"ALICE!!!" I screamed, like a lunatic, and I saw her pixie head jump like three feet in the air from behind a rack, looking around frantically like I was being murdered, she saw the stack of colorful crap I was cradling and squealed before lunging at me.

"Oh my fucking GAWD!!! This is so perfect here put it all on the floor so we can sort it out and see what we've got," she said ecstatically at what I had found.

We laid it all out, and separated the outfits, we had to do a little searching for some extra touches, and then we decided who would wear what. I was ecstatic; I had never gotten so into Halloween before. I mean I loved the holiday no doubt, but to actually get all gussied up and actually have a costume party, which was a whole other world for someone who had never really been allowed out.

We didn't think we'd be able to do it, but we were wrong. We managed to find a group theme, and it was Alice in Wonderland. It took a little tweaking, but we managed to put the six outfits together.

Rose and Emmett were to be Alice and Tweedle Dee, Alice and Jasper were going to be the Cheshire Cat and the White Rabbit, and myself and Edward were going as the Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter.

Now that we had that settled for the party next Friday after the football game, we needed homecoming dresses. The dance was that Saturday, and Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were all attendants for the homecoming court. Freshman attendants were Edward and (I shudder to think it) Lauren, Sophomore were Jasper and Tanya, Junior were Rosalie and Emmett, and Senior were Tyler and Irina, Jared and Victoria, and Garrett and Bree. Yeah, I'll admit that I was a little pissed about the fact that Lauren was going to be hanging all over Edward that night, not pissed at him, or that I wasn't courted, but at the fact that she would use it, as much as she fucking could.

The girl is a skank, seriously, and I had a right to be on the defense, she's been warned, and not by me, so she better keep herself in line because, I can't believe I'm saying this because I'm not a violent person, on ordinary terms but...I'm not afraid to take the bitch down.

She had already thrown a fit that Edward was still taking me as his date, she insisted that the person he was in court with was supposed to be his date. He had just shrugged and informed her that the court could go fuck themselves and he was taking me as his date. I have to admit that made me smirk just a little bit.

Alice and Rosalie had cornered me and told me we were going to get dresses Sunday, when I argued that nothing would be open tomorrow they laughed and informed me that we were going back to Esmom's friends in Seattle. I smiled at the thought and nodded my approval; there were definitely some dresses I would love to get my hands on there.

We made the boys wait to see what we could come up with before they were allowed to find their own outfits. We finished supper and it was Alice and Emmett's night to help with clean-up so Edward and I headed to his room.

"Do you have any ideas on what you're looking for tomorrow for your Homecoming dress?" Edward asked politely.

I bit my lip and nodded conspiratorially, "Yes, I do. It's going to be sexy, short, and extremely...tight," I said huskily. I watched in no uncertain amusement as Edward gulped, but was caught short when he slowly reached his hand out and curled his long fingers around to grasp my hip. His eyes watching the movement, as though it would restrain his hand, just by the look alone. It wasn't until his eyes met mine that I could understand his desire. His eyes were black, shining with want and I felt heat flood to my core, which _that_ look alone made my knees weak.

"Oh no, my dear, Bella! You better stay upright because I have my plans for you," Edward said menacingly. I stifled a giggle, because that would only get me into more trouble. Edward swung me around abruptly and slammed me into his bedroom door, and I knew his exact intentions. We had been eying his bedroom door for days.

I hitched my leg around his hip and ground into him, he pulled back and before I knew it he'd grabbed my other thigh and tossed me up, and my legs instantly wrapped around his waist. It was a good thing I was hella skinny, and he was an athletic fucker, because with some people our age that little act would have tossed a skinny wimp on his back.

"Oh Isabella, most days you would've been fine with that little remark, but I've been watching you prance around in this little sundress for far too long, and then to turn around and tease me about wearing a short little dress, tsk tsk..." Edward scolded me. I had forgotten the fact that I was wearing a dress until he made that remark.

His hands, that had been resting on my knees by his hips now skimmed up my thighs and under my dress. I thought that he was just going to remove my panties, but instead his hands kept inching up and he hitched my dress higher with each movement. He had it bundled below my breasts and I raised my arms so he could remove it, and then toss it across the room. I had forgone a bra, and was left in only a small lace thong.

I finished unbuttoning his shirt that already had three buttons undone, and pushed it from his shoulders. Then, I let the door support my torso as I leaned back and undid his belt, and pants then pushed them to the floor along with his boxer briefs.

"I like this thong Isabella, I like all lingerie on you, but I don't like it that much," he said before ripping the fabric from my body. I felt myself get wetter as he did this, and couldn't help myself when I grasped his hair and pulled his mouth to mine. He pulled back and looked sweetly into my eyes, before whispering his love for me, but before I could return the sentiment he slammed into me.

I gasped in surprise, but then moaned at the feeling of completion. We went fast and hard, like never before, and I loved it. It was only a few minutes until I felt my orgasm rip and roll from my stomach through my core, and then explode up my spine, and down to my toes. I screamed his name and he covered my mouth with his to muffle my sounds. I whimpered as he kept pursuing his own orgasm, feeling the dull ache turn into much more.

I was so close for the second time, and I knew that my body at this moment could not take a third. My mouth released his and I kissed along his jaw and down his throat before sucking at the tender spot between his throat and collar bone, he moaned loudly and I knew that I was on the right track. I kissed, nibbled and licked back up the column of his throat and stilled my mouth just over his ear. I could hear his panting, and feel his breath in my ear as it sped, as he neared and lingered on the edge.

"Fucking come," I whispered huskily before biting down on his lobe, hard.

"Ungh, FUCK BELLA!!!..." he growled into my ear as he started to spasm inside of me, igniting my second release. He thrusted a few more times, milking our orgasms to the end before letting his head fall to my shoulder.

He turned and carried us to the bed on shaky legs before falling down onto it.

* * * * * * * * * *

"ROOOOSALIEEEEEEEEE!!!" I sung glancing over the racks and seeing her head pop up and whip around in my direction.

"For Christ's sakes, what is it Bella?" she ask with an exaggerated sigh.

I bit my lip and pretend hesitated. "Remember how you wanted something tight, and sexy but slightly old fashioned and completely weird?" I asked in a breathy voice.

She rolled her eyes and nodded her head as she motioned for me to get on with it.

"Well, I may have found a _little_ something..." I trailed off, as I held the dress so that the cinched black skirt was all she saw.

In true Rose fashion she darted through the aisles like a linebacker on a mission. "Gimme, gimme gimme..." Rose whined as I held the dress behind my back.

"Tut tut, Rose, you stay put and I'll hold it up so you can get a good look at it," I said and Rose nodded her head with the same enthusiasm as everyday Alice. I pulled the dress around and held it up.

"Oh My God!!! I love it, it's kinda creepy you know, like I should be wearing one of those short black mourning veils with the hat that widows wear to funerals, except with this dress it would be like 22 year old Anna Nicole, my rich old husband just kicked it funeral attire...sans outdated wedding dress of course...oh and when Anna was playboy material not VH1 reality TV Anna, may she rest in peace," Rose said as she channeled the Catholics and crossed herself, while sucking in deep breaths. Yeah, it's not easy to channel Alice.

The dress was a snug, black, cinched dress, with cap sleeves the bust and neckline had see through netting with peacock feathers that formed cups, and was snug all the way to the end where it sat tightly above the knees.

"Okay, so I know you are totally weird, and I had remembered this dress from when we were here for the variety show, so...I saw this online, and I couldn't help but to buy it for you. I didn't know if you'd ever have anything to go with it, or when to give it to you but it seems now is perfect," I said as I pulled the little gift bag out of my book bag.

And she squealed...like Alice.

She pulled the little drop clutch out of the bag, it was a beautiful peacock feathered bag that matched the dress perfectly.

I glanced towards the shoes and grabbed so moss green one's that matched the hue of green in the feathers.

Alice and I waited while she tried it on, and after she decided it was perfect, she helped us with our searching.

Alice found a mid-thigh length dress, that was form fitting enough. It was a mock tux dress and added to the comedy that was Alice, she paired it with some of those little tuxedo peep-toe pumps, and some skull jewelry that she decided was fitting since it was Halloween.

I was the only one left. Alice held up dress after A-line dress, and I just shook my head. I was looking through a rack when I noticed something that had fell between, and I grabbed it in an instant. I ran to the fitting area before the other two could see it, they didn't even notice I had gone. They were both nose deep in the racks, so I casually strolled to the shoes finding a pair of Rock & Republic sandals with like five inch heels that had chains draping from the ankles.

They were a dark satin gray/silver matching the dress perfectly; the dress was cinched and snug, and hung to mid-thigh. The neckline had a lighter silver lace that went up over the shoulder, and plunged into my neckline, reaching just above my navel. It showed bits and pieces of my chest and abdomen, classy enough, and enough that I knew would get Edward's attention.

I threw on some minimal star jewelry, and then threw my hair back in a side parted pony tail that I let trail over my shoulder, I pulled some bangs out and let them drape seductively over my left eye.

I cleared my throat and both of their heads popped up.

They looked at each other than back at me, and let out a low whistle.

That decided it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Carlisle and Esme, gave us another lecture on not having alcohol at the party, and we decided that since, the chief is not in alliance with us, that it probably was a good idea to forgo the forbidden substance. We made our promises and kissed them goodnight as they left to have a wonderful evening by themselves in Port Angeles, with promises to return before we left for the Homecoming Dance the next evening.

Edward could hardly keep his hands off me as I dressed in my Queen of Hearts costume, but I assured him a pleasant time later. He didn't look too bad himself in his Mad Hatter tux, God I really didn't need to watch Alice in Wonderland before bed last night, mixing Disney movies and sex, while humorous is just wrong all together.

The team was bummed that there wasn't any alcohol at the party, considering we won the Homecoming game, and they were aching to celebrate. We assured them that they would have enough fun that they wouldn't miss it.

Alice had turned the great room into a club setting, with neon lights running away with the beat of the music that was nearly shattering the windows.

It didn't take long before the house was packed and grinding was pursued. In the middle of the floor, Alice, Rosalie, and I had our guys panting as we grind down on them to the beat of Sean Paul's _Temperature_. The boys didn't hesitate to return our moves.

Edward grabbed my hips as he lowered me down to the floor all the while grinding his dick against my ass.

There was a lot of mutual panting going on.

At some point I hitched my leg on his hip and jumping up so my other wrapped around his waist, I pulled some kind of Shakira move where I rolled my torso roughly bumping my chest against his, I loosened my left leg and in some sort of swing dance move twirled around until my torso was right behind his left shoulder and my right leg slid down his left until my back was against his. My shoulders matched the heartbeat pounding of the song, bumping him forward, I turned and spun him around, grabbing the front of him by his shirt and slamming my body against his and grinding down and back up as the song neared the end.

His chest continued to beat against mine with the rhythmic heartbeat thumping of the song until it ended. Our eyes were locked the entire time, and his gaze looked feral. His hands locked around my wrists, and he went to pull me towards him, until I heard a 'HOLY FUCK" and was lifted swiftly in the air by none other than Emmett.

"What the fuck was that Bells? That was like _Dancing with the Stars_, late night edition. I think even if I didn't have Rose here grinding on my dick, I would've gotten contact erection, that was like really fucking hot," Em finished as I heard the slap from Rose.

"He's right though Bells, I think I nearly came just watching you two, I know my clit was twitching and that is saying something," I blushed as Rose finished, and I glanced over and saw Jasper and Alice nodding their agreement.

"Hey, I was there too," Edward whined.

"Oh yes we know Edward, and you were part of the hotness, but this girl fucking climbed you like a stripper pole, and you loved every second of it," Rose smirked.

"That I did," Edward nodded his agreement, "Excuse us."

Edward led me over to the hallway and pressed me against the wall. I sighed as his lips caught mine, but froze as Puddle of Mudd's _'Psycho'_ started playing. I love the song, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't really Alice's taste, and after everything that happened with my mother and father, she always said how disgusted the song made her.

Just as that thought entered my mind Alice skidded to a stop at the entrance of the hallway.

"Bella, I. Did. Not. Put. That. On. The. Playlist," she articulated with a sorrowful expression.

"It's okay, Alice, I like the song," I said with a shrug.

"Somebody is fucking with my music and I'm going to find who did it..." Alice said with a determined glare towards the sound system.

Edward just shook his head and started kissing me, it was only seconds until I deepened it and we were on a quick path to needing to get out of here. Just as I hitched my leg over his hip, my phone started buzzing. I had put it in my cleavage just in case someone needed to get a hold of me, and I knew I wouldn't here it over all the music and people.

What startled me was the tone that started. _'Psycho'_ was playing loudly as I tried to get to my phone.

Edward smirked at me and asked if I was the one that was messing with Alice and I told him no, and that I didn't even put it on my phone. His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to figure out what was going on.

Before he could get too far in thought though as I got a hold of my phone, it started again...

_'Back in the days when we were young, when everything was like a loaded gun, ready to go off at any minute, yeah you know were gonna win again, Maybe I'm the one, Maybe I'm the one who is the schizophrenic psycho, yeah...Maybe I'm the one, Maybe I'm the one who is the paranoid psycho...' _

By the time I got the phone free the tone ended, but not for long.

_'Back in the days when we were young, when...' _

_'Back in the days when we were...'_

_'Back in the days when...'_

_'Back in the days...' _

_'Back...'_

_  
'Back..'_

_'Back.'_

_'Back'_

_'Ba-'_

_'Ba-'_

_'Ba-'_

"What the fuck!!!" Edward exclaimed, he took the phone from my hands as it was still constantly going off and opened it. I started to read over his shoulder.

The first few messages were only slightly disturbing.

_I see you._

_I've been waiting for you._

_I've been watching you._

Then they started to get a little creepier...

_So long Isabella Swan or should I say Masen, have I been waiting._

Wait, we hadn't told anyone about the change...yet.

_You should know I wouldn't just let you get away._

_Are you getting paranoid yet?_

_I can see you look around._

_I'm watching you._

_I will get you this time, Bella._

The only thing I could think about, was what popped into my mind, pretty much the only fear I had left...James.

_You had better run._

_Run little girl, run._

Edward gasped, "Do you think this could be...James?" I nodded my head in answer.

"Fuck..." Edward pulled out his phone and hit a button before bringing it to his ear, "Emmett, I'm in the hall by the den, grab the girls and Jasper and get here now...no I'm not kidding it's important please," Edward pleaded before closing the phone and putting it away.

_RUN!!!_

_RUN!!!_

_RUN!!!_

_RUN!!!_

Edward silenced my phone and set it on the floor, we both watched it intently like it was going to transform or something. The buzzing never stopped as message after message came through. I glanced at the number and noticed it was a Seattle area code.

I picked up the phone and opened it, but Edward grabbed my wrist and told me not to torture myself, but I reassured him that I wasn't going to.

I went to the message inbox and highlighted one of the messages before hitting send. I placed the phone on speaker.

_Ring Ring Ring "I'm sorry, this service user has disabled their messaging options at this time, please hang up and try again..." Click._

"Shit-" I started to say something, but at that time the gang squeezed themselves into the hall.

"Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with your phone, Bella?" Emmett asked.

We explained to everybody what was going on, and showed them the texts, a few minutes later, the phone stopped buzzing, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I glanced at the phone and noticed it was flashing at me, _text box full, _well that was plenty fine with me.

"What should we do?" I asked.

"You should call Carlisle," Jasper said, "he's been trying to track James since that night, and I'm sure he has somebody helping him."

I nodded and Edward pulled out his cell, dialed Carlisle, and hit speaker phone.

"Dad..."

"_What's wrong son?"_

"Bella, has been getting weird texts, okay that is an understatement, she has gotten like three hundred texts in the last twenty minutes from a Seattle number, when she called the number it said the voicemail was disconnected.

These were not nice texts. They sounded like threats, and they told her to run...we think it might be James."

Carlisle let a long sigh out...

"_I hoped this wouldn't come back to haunt her, but I'll call Jethro and ask him to check it out, he's only about ten minutes from you guys, I'll give him your number so he can call you when he gets there, and you guys can meet him in front. Until then stay where you are, and stay together."_

We gave Carlisle the suspicious number so that Jethro could go ahead and start running it, and then we waited.

As Dadlisle said, Jethro called at nearly exactly ten minutes, and we met him out front.

"Bella, I'm going to need your phone," Jethro said. I gave him my phone and looked at him, waiting for him to have an epiphany.

"Well I can tell you this. Whoever it is, is in your house. Now I traced the phone, and it belongs to a Christopher Mallory. Do you know who that is?" Jethro asked.

I nodded, "Yes, it is Lauren Mallory's father..." I trailed off and then sighed, "He's a business man who works out off a Seattle office."

"Yes, okay so first I need you to point out Lauren," Jethro suggested.

We led him into the house and I walked him straight up to Lauren.

"What the fuck do you want, Skankella," she sneered.

Then I pointed to the investigator who stood at my side.

"I don't want anything from you, cunt, but I believe this man here has a few questions for you," I said, ignoring her sixth grade name-changed-into-an-insult game, and headed straight for the cunt-shot.

"May I see your phone Lauren," Jethro asked her. Her eyes got huge, but she handed it over. He looked through it and then called the number on my phone, but it didn't lead to hers. She was fidgeting nervously, and I could see that she knew something.

"Who has it Lauren," I asked and Jethro's head shot up.

"Yes, it does seem her mannerisms are leading me to believe she knows what is going on..." he trailed off and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Jethro, I didn't mean that eye-roll condescendingly, but I've been around this bitch long enough to _know _that she knows something," I told him, and he gestured like 'by all means.'

"Now this is very serious, Lauren, if some guy named James is involved you need to tell me right now," I said threateningly.

"Who the fuck is James? You dumb slut, it's just fucking Newton, he wanted to fuck with you so I gave him the idea, you didn't have to call in the troops jeez you're just as crazy as your fucking-" _mom. Your fucking mom, _I finished to myself just as Rosalie slammed Lauren against the wall, her forearm cutting off her air supply. I probably should have stopped her, but I was thoroughly enjoying it so, I just let it be.

I glanced over and saw Newton green-faced looking at the scene, Emmett started to move and Mike ran up the stairs. I chuckled and shook my head, only Newton would go up the stairs, where there are no exits, pathetic asshole that he is...he deserves whatever Emmett...oh, wait, and Jasper give him.

"Save some for me," Jasper shouted, as he chased after Emmett, and I chuckled yet again.

"Sorry Jethro, looks like your work here is done," I sighed patting him on the arm, "thank you for coming anyways."

"My work is not done, until I do in fact catch James, but for now, you guys party and don't have too much fun," Jethro said as he made way to exit out the front door.

Edward already had his phone open and called Carlisle. He assured him everything was alright, and that other than the fact that Newton would have to attend the homecoming dance, with a couple black eyes and who knows what other injuries, all would be fine.

I glanced at the clock and noticed we were early into the party at just barely hitting two a.m. I smiled, and looked Edward up and down.

"Ready to call it a night?" I asked. He nodded and started leading me to our room. We passed Emmett and Jasper and could see Newton's feet dangling behind their own, but nothing else. I shook my head but continued on.

I started singing, _She lays down on the sidewalk, never very analytical, she is something simply beautiful, reappear when you feel magical, to back in the days when we were young, and everything was like a loaded gun, ready to go off in any minute, yeah, you know where gonna win again...Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one who is the schizophrenic psycho, yeah...Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one who is the paranoid psycho..._

I paused and looked over to Edward who was giving me an incredulous look. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, nothing..." he said with a small smile as he turned the knob and gestured for me to enter our room.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Bella, stop moving. If you don't stop moving you are not going to have any hair left, because I am going to yank it the fuck out, now SIT STILL!" Alice screamed, yanking my hair roughly.

"Bitch, I ain't ever letting you dress me again, EVER, if you don't cool your ass down," I told Alice, and she yanked a little less hard with that.

It took us nearly four hours of Alice induced torture, but we were finally ready for the Homecoming Dance, and I was starting to feel slightly nervous, and I knew that it's ridiculous, but I can't help it.

We met the boys downstairs in the family room, and Esmom and Dadlilse were ready and waiting with cameras in tow.

After about 45 minutes of pictures, and lectures, we made our way to the high school gym. The decorations were cheap, the punch was spiked, but my friends were here, so that was all that mattered.

I consumed around three small glasses of 'punch' and was feeling a little better about the crappy music, okay scratch that...I was feeling well enough that I literally kicked the DJ away, and decided to take matters into my own hands.

I let the DJ have it back after instructing to him what kind of music should be played, and miraculously he listened.

I nearly puked watching Edward walk Lauren down the aisle like some fucking wedding ceremony, when really it was just Homecoming Court, and she was just eating that shit up. She attempted to smirk at me and Edward rolled his eyes. She mouthed 'mine' at me when they were approaching where I was on the sidelines, so I stuck my foot out and tripped the bitch, luckily for her Edward caught her, but he couldn't hold in the laugh that bubbled up. He turned and smirked at me and mouthed 'yours', I smirked back and replied with a 'damn right.'

In the end, Jared and Victoria were crowned King and Queen, and they had their dance, before the rest of the court was forced to join them. Edward danced with Lauren a mere thirty seconds before she started putting the moves on him, she leaned forward to whisper in his ear but instead took his lobe between her teeth. He pushed her away with a grimace, and waved me over with a 'come here baby.'

I finished the dance with him as Lauren watched on with her arms crossed and a pout/scowl across her face, but I was too busy enjoying being in Edward's arms to give a shit about her feelings, she could fuck off for all I care. She stomped her foot after a few seconds and stalked off, I just rolled my eyes.

Emmett came over and whispered to Edward, and he whispered back, just as I was about to pull away, Edward pulled me closer, and a new song started to play. My breath hitched when I recognized the music, and I pulled him closer, my head in the nook between his neck and shoulder.

_I swear that I can go on forever again,  
Please let me know that my one bad day will end,  
I will go down as your lover, your friend,  
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin,_

_Are you afraid of being alone,  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you,  
Are you afraid of leaving tonight,  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you,_

_I'll leave my room open 'til sunrise for you,  
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you,  
Where are you now? I can hear footsteps, I'm dreaming,  
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this,_

_Are you afraid of being alone,  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you..._

_I'm lost without you..._ain't that the truth. If it wasn't for Edward I have no idea where I would be right now? Would I have ran, when everything got tough? Would I be six feet under, no longer walking this earth, no longer an importance? That is if I were ever one before...

I didn't want to even think about before, so I just wound myself deeper into Edward, and I felt his arms tighten around me. It may have been just the one dance, or it could have been many, but before I knew it, his arms loosened their hold on me, and he was walking me to the door. I was fine with this outcome, the sooner we left the better.

We were some of the first to leave the dance, already bored with the high school drama, of girls crying in the bathrooms, and guys pushing each other around. We were just done with it.

Once we got home we walked hand in hand up to Edwards room, before slowly undressing each other, and appreciating each other's bodies, with less enthusiasm, but more care and nurturing than ever before.

Our love was made slowly, deeply, and with complete intimacy. Our embrace was tight, our kisses soft, our movements slow, and our climaxes silent, but heavy, as we panted into each other's mouths, moaned each other's names in hushed tones, and breathed our love to one other, as we spiraled out of control.

As Edward lay upon me to catch his breath, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and sighed in contentment, causing him to tighten his hold on me. I couldn't help but to feel safe and warm in his embrace, I never knew how love felt so consuming, but in that moment I understood it more than I could care to admit. It was scary how much I depended on him, and I decided I needed to lean less on him, and grow a pair of my own, because you never know what life throws at you, and that was exactly what I was afraid of...

The unknown.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Chapter 8: October is for Witches and Harlots Playlist**

**Temperature- Sean Paul**

**Psycho- Puddle of Mudd**

**I'm Lost Without You- Blink 182**

**Reviews are more than welcome. Please don't hesitate to ask questions.**

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**I hope you continue reading. :D**


	10. Chapter 9: Fight, Flight or Front

**My name is not Stephanie Meyer and I do not own 'The Twilight Saga.'**

**For those of you who are new to this story, number one go back and start from the beginning :) and moving on...there is SEXUAL CONTENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND in some cases MILD VIOLENCE. **

**I know it has been a long time coming for this update, and I would just like to say that I apologize. I got some drama, that I don't even know how to begin with right now, I know excuses excuses, but I'll try to do better...that is all I can promise right now.**

**As I promise, this isn't all hearts and rainbows and rose scented poo...just saying.**

*****Check out my profile for links to outfits and other such stuff.**

*****At the bottom is a playlist that you may want to refer to throughout the chapter.**

**I would like to thank Danna, (freakin' smart ass beta...editing text ha fucking ha...) my beta in which I love, for getting this chapter in line for me, and being the bad ass bitch that she is.**

**Okay...it's been long enough...again sorry...and...**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 9: Fight, Flight, or Front like you've heard it all before.

_"Tears of Crimson"_

_I have never had any photographs,  
And I lost that part of my memory,  
Instead of broken glass I live off maps,  
The night you were buried in history,_

_And your lips they lost sight of everything,  
Cried tears of crimson, and blood of sapphire,  
Your morgue of muses haunts me with your scream,  
Their voices your purpose seems to admire,_

_Your broken vase has shaved my wrists this eve,  
The lonely rose lies dead amongst the ground,  
As perplex a scene might bring death to these,  
Two loves so painful lying barbwire bound,_

_I'd like to thank you for your lovely line,  
The desire is worthless, my eyes kept blind. _

**BPOV  
**

Holding Edward, kissing Edward, loving Edward was all the same, not changing, a faithful constant in my life, no less passionate. It never lessened in intensity, never made me feel vulnerable, and well...at least didn't make me feel that our relationship was vulnerable. The strength our bond held was impeccable, no matter what I did. Though we never let it get past fondling, and oral sex...at least not lately.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want our connection to break, nor do I want us to break up. I just wish that at fifteen years old I didn't have this scary, intense relationship that didn't seem to be slowing down. By this rate I would be married before I was sixteen and that scared me shitless. Shitless!

I tried to backtrack some, and to slow our roll way the fuck down, but it just didn't work. Any time that the kisses would start to deepen, the hold would tighten, I was putty and couldn't do a effing thing about it. I know I'm weak, but if you had this gorgeous boy that meant the world to you and loved you to death, why would you try pulling away? I know I'm cra- (_no I'm not going there, I'm no Renee.) _ I'm stupid, (_yeah that is the one right there,) _and scared...remember? Shitless, and I'm not even sure what of.

_That you'll be like her?_

Maybe.

_That he'll regret all of it?_

Probably.

_That he'll fall out of love with you?_

Definitely.

_Is it worth risking any of that? _

I don't know, possibly.

_Would it kill your heart in the end?_

Absolutely.

_Do you need me to shut up now?_

Yes, please.

I gave a curt nod at myself into the mirror, and fell back down into the mattress. My mind had been arguing with itself time after time for weeks on end now. That I shouldn't love Edward this much, that I'm too young, that I can't possibly be feeling everything I feel for him, with so much intensity. I love him so much though, that I never want to be without him, I want to be his forever. _Forever._ Yeah, that tended to be a little scary, a little...crazy. There I said it.

I don't want to feel that I'm being obsessive about my relationship with Edward, because I don't want to be anything that anyone could identify with being like..._her._

For the most part, I left things alone. I let things fall where they may...because there really isn't anything I can do about it. Right? _Right._

Thanksgiving passed with little to no drama, and Christmas, well it was much more interesting.

_Last night was Christmas Eve dinner, and we stayed up watching our favorite marathon movies, before calling it a night and going to sleep. _

_Once I awoke and showered, I slipped my dress over my head, already having put on my undergarments and tights. Once my dress was in place and zipped I slipped my shoes on, adding a few pieces of jewelry, and sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Edward to emerge from the bathroom._

_He emerged finally in black slacks, a dark red button up shirt, and dress shoes. His green eyes shining reminded me of Christmas trees, and I couldn't help but to be in awe._

"_Ready to head down, love?" Edward asked as he held his hand out towards me._

"_Uh, yeah sure, never been more ready," I stuttered out, taking his hand and allowing him to help me to my feet._

_Once we got downstairs everyone gathered around the tree, Alice and Rose arrived before we had made it down and were already comfortably seated, looking every bit as good, if not much better than I did in their Christmas dresses._

_Carlisle acted the part of 'Santa Claus' handing out their presents and directing everyone to hand out theirs as well._

"_Bella, here you go, this is from Esme and me," Carlisle said softly, and I thanked them much the same._

_As I was peeling the shiny red paper back, my mind registered that this was the first Christmas I would celebrate with my new and improved family._

_I pulled the leather-bound journals from their concealment and took a deep breath to hold my emotions back._

"_We thought with all of your writing, that you could use something nice to compile everything in," Carlisle told me, and I nodded and thanked them yet again._

_A family that gets me._

_Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett gave me a gift as couples much like Edward and I did for all of them._

_They were the typical gift cards, clothing, music, and so on. Then Edward cleared his throat._

"_These are my gifts to you," Edward said as he pulled forth one really large gift, and yet another rather small gift._

"_Um, yeah, here are my gifts to you, too," I said as I pulled forward his gifts._

_I insisted that he open his first._

_The first was a framed picture of us, which had been taken on my birthday. The first time you could see the tell-tale signs of love surrounding our beings and gracing our faces._

_The second was a leather chord necklace, housing a small version of the pendent Carlisle had given each of his children: the Cullen crest. He already had a cuff with the crest, but he wasn't able to wear it while playing sports and such so, I decided to give him an alternative, so I asked Carlisle for another pendent._

"_I had one made into a necklace for you, it seemed like a nice thing to do, so you'll always have it with you" I shrugged, as he beamed at me._

"_It's perfect," he assured me._

_The last box had a compilation of music, books, movies, and anything I could find and throw together, all things I knew that he loved, or would probably love once he was exposed to it._

"_Thank you," Edward said softly, pulling me into his lap and kissing me on the forehead, "now open your presents, please."_

_I grabbed the biggest one first, and started to peel the paper back slowly. When I caught sight of 'Gibson' I tore the paper off with abandon._

"_I knew that you were wanting me to teach you, and we've been toying around with my guitar a little, but this way with your guitar it will be easier for me to teach you to play, and once you've learned we can jam together," Edward said with a wide and genuine smile._

"_Thank you so much, this means a lot," I told him my face hurting from all the smiling I was doing._

_He took the guitar from my hand, and replaced it with my last present._

"_One more," he whispered softly, and my hands shook as I took the small gift from him._

_I pulled the paper off to find a thin rectangular box; it was obviously jewelry, and thankfully obviously not a ring._

_I opened the box and found a beautiful, strand of white pearls, and at the end of the necklace was an onyx heart locket._

_I fingered the locket reverently, in shock maybe, or awe at the feelings this little piece of jewelry gave me. It was beautiful and fit my personality like a glove, the only thing that woke me from the trance it had on me was Edwards soft voice telling me to 'open it.'_

_I opened the locket and it unfolded like a clover revealing four slots for pictures, and then I focused on the pictures, three of the slots were filled._

"_I felt I should symbolize the movement of our relationship, and what you mean to me. The first is our friendship, our strength with each other, the second, our love and bond, and the third...my hope for our forever..." Edward explained quietly._

_The first picture was taken when we were friends, he had a hold of me, but it looked more protective than anything. The second was after we got together. He was standing and he had me lifted in his arms, holding me with my legs circled around his waist, and my arms around his neck. The last picture was a day that Alice had been goofing around with us, make us all dress up, I was in this weird dress that was beautiful, but also looked like a garbage bag, she called it recycled chic, and Edward was in a tux, but that wasn't all, we were playing around, and Edward was on his knees kissing my ring finger, as my left hand was embraced in both of his..._

_I gasped lightly, upon seeing it, and after switching from studying the pictures, to Edward himself, I drew in a deep shaky breath, and responded._

"_Thank you, this is...beautiful, but what about the last?" I said cupping his cheek, and placing a light kiss on his lips, before pulling my guard back up, and glancing around the room to check out what everyone else had._

"_You are beautiful Isabella, and the last is yet to come," I heard him mutter softly, so soft in fact, I don't think I was meant to hear it, therefore I didn't respond, but his arms did tighten slightly around my waist, and I recognized his intent. _

I was dreading Valentine's Day. I know...I know...I'm nuts, I have the most gorgeous and attentive boyfriend of all time, and the holiday I should have been looking forward to, I was absolutely terrified of, and with just cause.

Edward had ushered everyone out that day, it didn't take much convincing because it was Valentine's Day after all. Everybody already had plans he just made sure no one would come back while we were doing our thing.

He made me dinner, it was wonderful and romantic, with candles, soft music and lighting, and the food was delicious. We ate our dinner of mushroom ravioli and then had our cheesecake while sitting on the couch.

I presented him with my present first, Smile Empty Soul concert tickets, because he had been dying to go, and considering they were my favorite band, I wouldn't mind it either.

Then he got to my present.

_'Isabella Swan, you are the most unique and beautiful girl that I could ever dream to meet, and for you to be mine is unfathomable, but since you are, I'd hope to keep it that way,' Edward started, and my heartbeat kicked up tenfold, 'would you wear this ring in promise that in the future, when we are out of school and ready, that you will be mine forever, my wife, my mate, my love?' he finished pulling out the most beautiful white gold (because I hate yellow) ring with a square black diamond surrounded by white diamonds in the middle, and two rows of black diamonds to both sides._

I was stunned completely, and even though I felt that nagging 'doom' I've been calling it, I said yes and he secured the ring on my left ring finger, where it still sits today.

Lately I've been trying to drown my pessimistic self with music, securing my mp3 player to my hip, trying to drown out the voices that tell me that it's all to much, that it all is going to blow up in my face, and when the head phones don't do it, the guitar I've learned to play over the months surely does.

I switch songs faster than I rightfully should be able to, but I feel as though my music is mocking me, that I'm trying to be reached on some paranormal level, because honestly this is starting to freak me out by just how in tune the songs are with my rampant thoughts.

It all started with Avril:

_Sometimes I get so weird,  
__I even freak myself out,__I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby,  
__Sometimes I drive so fast,  
Just to feel the danger,  
I want to scream it makes me feel alive,_

_Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out,  
And leave me here to bleed,_

_Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life,  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please..._

_(Anything But Ordinary-A.L.)_

_Click..._

Then Jimmy Eat World:

_I don't feel the way I've ever felt,  
I know,  
I'm gonna smile and not get worried,  
I try but it shows,  
Anyone can make what I have built,  
And better now,  
Anyone can find the same white pills,_

_It takes my pain away,  
It's a lie, a kiss with open eyes,  
And she's not breathing back,  
Anything but bother me,  
It takes my pain away,  
Never mind these are hurried times,  
Oh oh, I can't let it bother me,_

_I never thought I'd walk away from you,  
I did,  
But it's a false sense of accomplishment,  
Every time I quit..._

_(Pain-J.E.W.)_

_Click..._

And finally...Muse:

_It's bugging me,  
Grating me,  
And twisting me around,_

_Yeah, I'm endlessly,  
Caving in,  
And turning inside out,_

_Because I want it now,  
I want it now,  
Give me your heart and your soul,_

_And I'm breaking out,  
I'm breaking out,  
Last chance to lose control,_

_Yeah it's holding me,  
Morphing me,  
And forcing me to strive,_

_To be endlessly,  
Cold within,  
And dreaming I'm alive..._

_(Hysteria-Muse)_

* Thud *

I tugged the buds from my ears before tossing it to the floor, hence the thud. With a sigh and a curse, I flung myself down on the bed and glared at the ceiling before huffing and making my way across the room, I grabbed my guitar and sat Indian style on the bed. I plucked a few chords out before my hands started playing a song my mind hadn't yet told them to, and even my sub-conscience was taunting me.

Reverting back to my favorites, I started in on a Smile Empty Soul song:

_You are my light, you are my fire,  
The only one that's not a liar,  
You get me through all of my days,  
You keep me numb to the pain,_

_When I'm lonely,  
When I'm calling out,  
Scream for a friend,  
You always hear a sound,  
Keep me happy,  
Keep me happy now,  
When all the world around,  
Crumbles to the ground,  
Crumbles to the ground,_

_You keep me calm when I'm not fine,  
You take the pressure off my mind,  
And even though I don't see clear,  
I feel safe cause you're here,_

_When I'm lonely,  
When I'm calling out,  
Scream for a friend,  
You always hear a sound  
Keep me happy,  
Keep me happy now,  
When all the world around,  
Crumbles to the ground,  
Crumbles to the ground,_

_Am I too fucked up,  
To really see (to really see)  
You're the best friend, that's killing me (that's killing me)_

_You get me through all of my days,  
You keep me numb to the pain,_

_When I'm lonely,  
When I'm calling out,  
Scream for a friend,  
You always hear a sound,  
Keep me happy,  
Keep me happy now,__  
When all the world around,  
Crumbles to the ground,  
Crumbles to the ground,  
Crumbles to the ground,  
Crumbles to the ground..._

_(To the Ground- S.E.S.)_

I let out a sigh as I held out the last chord, my mind in a haze, as it has been the last couple of months, I don't even know what my thoughts are on the whole thing, I don't think my brain is allowing me to deal with it. Like it is just too much to think about, that dealing with the issue at this point just isn't an option.

"Are you really that fucking depressed?"

I whirled around on the bed so fast I actually fell to the floor with a loud 'Eep!' and a louder thud. Luckily I had set the guitar to the side already.

"Excuse me?" I said hesitantly towards an annoyed looking Edward.

"You have been lurking around the past several months in a haze, and I have been doing everything fucking possible to get you to open up, to get you out of this funk you have been stuck in day after day, and nothing is fucking helping. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

This time, he was livid, but not nearly as livid as me.

"Excuse me!" I practically screamed with astonishment. "Where the fuck do you get off talking to me like that? Yeah, I'm going through some shit right now, it was bound to happen sometime, and I would like to know what is wrong with me just as much as you fucking would! If I knew I would fucking tell you believe me, but I don't! My mind is so fucking frazzled right now! I can't deal with everything, it's finally all settling in and I don't know how to react!"

"What do you mean 'it's finally all settling in'?" Edward asked with exasperation.

"Oh, well I dunno, let's see. I'm fifteen fucking years old, and I have been adopted by my boyfriend's parents, because my psycho bitch mother tried to fucking kill me and my dad didn't seem to give a shit. Then add in they didn't blink an eye when your father's lawyers placed the paperwork in front of them, they just signed like the fucking losers that they are.

Then there is the fact that I'm living here with you, like were married or some shit, and did I mention I'm fifteen! I love you don't get me wrong, but do you realize we still have nearly three years before we could even legally get married, even though doing that right out of high school would probably be completely foolish, but I feel like until then we're stuck, there's nowhere further we can go! We're already in as deep as possible.

It happened so fast, I mean we are still freshmen, and still have three years of high school and college, but when I think about my feelings for you, all I can think about is how I wish we were less than a month from graduation instead of from the end of freshman year, so that I can start a life with you, and being as we are let me say this again FIFTEEN that is beyond scary to me!

So yeah, I've been acting a little fucked up and zombie like lately, but that is because I don't know where to go with all of this, okay, I feel trapped. No, not trapped, but frozen. I feel like time is moving as slow as possible and it makes me just want to scream at the top of my lungs, because we need to keep building and building up and there's just no more room left in the sky for us to build.

Do you understand that? Do you get where I'm coming from, because I'm kind of drowning here," I was sobbing and gasping and was starting to get lightheaded, when I felt his arms circle around my waste, and pull me close to his body, but my breath was coming faster and faster until the whirling room became black empty space, and all I could here was the pounding in my head, and the beating of my heart.

**EPOV  
**

I stood in the doorway, listening as her beautiful voice curled around those words, words that spoke to me more than I thought they ever could, but the sadness in her eyes is what did me in. I just couldn't deal with the sadness any longer, the longer I listened to her playing, to her voice, the more annoyed I got. I could feel the depression coming off her in waves and that pissed me off so much, because over the months I had been working so hard to give her everything she might need or want. To give her the love she hadn't received from her parent's home, because no matter how much she downplayed and acted like whatever her parents did didn't matter, they did. More than she could control. She was letting this sadness own her, and I wouldn't let it anymore, so I snapped, and when I did, she did, and when she did she was fucking gone.

I listened intently to her whole rant, and I understood, boy did I understand. We were fifteen, and most days it took a lot for me to hold back from murmuring to her to simply marry me and make me the happiest man in the world, but that was the problem. I wasn't a man, I couldn't get married, and I was in fact a fifteen almost sixteen year old.

A boy who was so deeply in love already, that thought he had his whole life in perspective at the age of fifteen. I knew for a fact that Bella was my whole life, that I would marry her, and we would have children together, but not until we finished college. I thought maybe I would teach music, and hopefully she would major in something that would allow her to write, because she was fucking great at it, but looking at time spans, high school to college graduation that alone left us to at least seven years in the making, if not more.

Seven years, seven long years before I could respectfully and realistically make Bella my wife, and that sickened me, because seven days wasn't soon enough, seven months was excruciating, seven years was just fucking impossible.

I wanted to tear my hair out, I knew where she was coming from, but she had this so much worse than me, because all she wanted was someone to love, and someone to love her back, and though we had that, it just wasn't enough, because it wasn't permanent, though I was starting to wonder if even marriage was permanent enough for her.

I was thinking, not because a parent-child bond should be the most permanent bond there is, but her parents just gave her away, just threw that bond out, and my parents swooped in and gave her a new bond, but in her mind, what made that bond any more permanent than the first? Marriage, it could end in divorce so unless I literally sewed my hip to her hip with unbreakable thread, she would never believe in the words permanent, or forever.

She was lost, and I understood that, I just didn't know how to fix it, and then something happened.

She stopped her screaming at me, and her voice became pleading, pleading with me to understand, for me to not give up, for me to be the permanence no matter how lost she became, and so I pulled her into my arms to show her that no matter how much she screamed and fought to keep me away, that I wasn't going anywhere.

I was shushing her, caressing her hair and loving her, and she was breathing so fast and so hard until her head started to lull and her eyes became unfocused, and then she when limp in my arms, and I panicked, because we had been through so much, but generally when she passed out, there was a really fucking good reason, so I did the first thing that came to mind...

"DAD! DAD COME QUICK! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" I screamed as I pulled Bella into my arms as I stood and ran down the hallway to the stairs leading to the second story. He was halfway up the first story stairs when I got to the landing, and he ran faster when he saw Bella in my arms.

"What's wrong son, what happened?" Carlisle asked me urgently.

"We were arguing and she was screaming, then crying and breathing so hard and I was holding her and her eyes were moving around and her head was lulling and she passed out," I said in a rush, stuttering my way through the whole thing, trying to keep my sobs in and not act like such a fucking Emo girl, even though we all knew that I pretty much was.

"Sounds like she had a panic attack, here lets go lay her on the couch in my office, I'll check all her vitals again once we're in there," he said as he took Bella from my arms and carried her to the office.

"Edward, once I'm sure she's okay, I'm going to need you to tell me what you were arguing about," Carlisle said softly.

"It's not important, not anymore," I said quietly, ashamed that I snapped at her, knowing she had been through a lot this year.

"Yes Edward, it is. If she starts having panic attacks regularly, I'm going to have to prescribe her an inhaler, and probably some anxiety medication, and she might need to talk to a ther-" he started to say therapist but I cut him off not wanting to hear it.

"She doesn't need a therapist dad! She's not crazy she's just been through a lot, okay," I pleaded with him.

"Edward, I know she's not crazy, that's not why she should see a therapist, I should have insisted she see one after the ordeal with her parents. People who have been through traumatic experiences like Bella's having, need to see therapist just to talk it all out. Therapists can point out the proper perspective and provide the clarity she needs to understand all of what has happened and to cope with it. They aren't going to diagnose her with a mental illness, nor will they prescribe her for any medications, they will just listen to her, and give her the reassurance and support she needs."

"I...not...you...can't...no...fucking...way," I heard mumble from Bella.

"Um, what the fuck did you just say, Bella?" I asked with a slight smirk.

Her lashes fluttered a little bit, before her eyes opened and she tried to look at me or actually I think it was an attempt at a glare.

"I said, 'I'm not going to a therapist, you can't make me. There is no fucking way.'," Bella said it the most vulnerable fucking voice I have ever heard her use.

"Bella, you need to talk to someone about everything that has happened, it's affecting your health now, and that is where I draw the line," Carlisle said gently.

"I'm fine Carlisle, really. I just got upset, I promise it was nothing, just a little overreaction," Bella pleaded.

"Bella, I will only let this slide once, if you have any episode like that at all, you will be going," Carlisle said sternly.

Bella nodded her consent, with an agitated sigh.

**BPOV  
**

My freshman year ended a week ago, and I was going kind of stir crazy, so I did something. I walked into Newton's, took down the 'Help Wanted' sign, walked up to the register, where Mrs. Newton was reading a magazine, and said, 'I'll take it!' She laughed gently, nodded and told me to meet her that Monday at 8am to start my first shift.

I woke up this morning at six took my shower, ate breakfast, and was heading out the door when Edward stopped me.

"Where are you off to so early?" he asked with a lazy smile.

"Um, work?" I said shyly.

His eyebrows rose, and then he looked to see if I was lying. When he was satisfied that I was telling the truth, he proceeded.

"Work?" he questioned.

"Yes, I took the cashier job at Newton's, I needed something to do this summer," I said, as I set my chin high, and waited for a rebuttal. Edward scratched the back of his head, and nodded.

"Um, okay. What time do you get off?" he asked, resigned.

"Um, I believe she told me four, so I should be home by around four-thirty? Yeah, something like that. I've gotta head out or I'll be late. See you later, bye," I finished by kissing him soundly on the cheek and skipping out the door.

The day at work wasn't so bad; it was a pretty basic job. Scan the items, keep items stocked and restock purchased items, simple. Around four o'clock, Mrs. Newton relieved me of my position, and told me she'd see me back here tomorrow, I shed my apron, and left for home.

"How was your first day?" Edward asked as soon as I walked through the door.

I shrugged, "Pretty basic, it's a rather easy job," I said with a nod.

"I, uh, know this sounds lame, but I missed you today," Edward said timidly.

"I missed you, too baby," I said as a wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him soundly.

Edward deepened the kiss before releasing me and pulling me up the stairs.

I followed and as soon as we made it to our room, I shut and locked the door. I pulled my shirt over my head and unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans before easing them down my legs. I backed up until I sat on the bed, and pulled my self to the middle. I was leaned back on my elbows, my knees up and together, before I slowly dropped them apart, and took my left hand to rub my clit through my panties.

Edward was standing there mouth agape, as I waited for him to make the next move. He quickly shed his shirt and pants before crawling up between my legs and resting his chest atop of mine.

His hand made its way to mine, before linking our fingers together beside my head. 'I love you' he said looking into my eyes, then capturing my lips with his own. He broke apart, but only long enough to murmur, "God, Bella, it's been months," and descending his lips down my jaw and towards my throat.

And it had been months.

We hadn't had actual intercourse since, oh...late February? Yeah, late February. I couldn't help but feel ashamed, for I knew it was completely my fault.

Before I could make any commentary though, an agitated yell made its way up the stairs and through our door.

"Edward! Come here a minute, now please!" Esme the ever polite, mother trilled.

Edward sighed and regretfully pulled his body away from mine.

"I'll be right back, baby," he murmured with a chaste kiss to my lips, followed by my nod of consent.

He slipped his jeans on and grabbed his shirt, putting it on as he closed the door behind him. As I was laying there, contemplating, why I was questioning him, when he had never given me any reason to, when all I wanted was to love him, and live this life as best as I possibly could, his phone went off. Sounding the tone he had set for a text, I grabbed the phone before it could vibrate off the night stand.

I was just getting ready to silence it, when I saw the name flash across the screen.

_Lauren? What the fuck? _My mind was racing, and terribly confused. What the hell was Lauren doing texting Edward? I hated that bitch and he knew it. I actually thought he hated her, too.

So I opened the phone.

**Heard u were lookin 4 sum bhind the scenes play...Bella not givin u any?..im game...Free this weekend. Hit me up! ~L~ xoxo**

I saw red.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Chapter 9: Fight, Flight, or Front... Playlist**

**Anything But Ordinary- Avril Lavigne**

**Pain- Jimmy Eat World**

**Hysteria- Muse**

**To the Ground- Smile Empty Soul**

**Reviews are more than welcome.**

**Please don't hesitate to ask questions.**

**I hope you continue to read.**

**3 CkK**


	11. Chapter 10: Just Go

**I do not own 'The Twilight ****Sag****a****' some biotch West of me does.**

**Yes, that may have been harsh, savoring of jealousy and bitterness, with a touch of fun. :)**

**I would like to put forth my extreme gratitude to my beta Danna a.k.a danna0724, who should probably hate my guts right now, bc I'm a terrible****, ****terrible antisocial h00r. But...I still love you, and you are the bestest sex-eh biotch in the whole wide world!**

**I was told to POINT OUT that the LYRICS you see below ARE MY OWN, yes my own, but YOU may INTERPRET THEM as BELLA'S per usual.**

**It has been far too long since I have updated, I know this and I am prepared to grovel and beg for forgiveness, it's been a long and hard**** year****. I know excuses, excuses, but I believe I owe you guys my explanation, and honesty.**

**I separated almost immediately after the last chapter was posted, I was divorced little more than a month later. Anyway, in the event of the separation, I switched jobs, and started working nights at the factory I used to work at, I moved in with my parents, and eventually was laid off of work in November, I know somewhere in there I should have had time to type out a chapter right? My computer was hooked up in December, and yes about half the chapter was written. **

**I, however, was not in the right mind to finish it. I have now, and I am sorry for the wait. I had originally guessed this story to be somewhere around 30 chapters, but have decided to write shorter chapters, in hopes that it will allow me to update more, so bare with me. I am trying. Thank you for the understanding.**

**Btw. If you look for me on fb, I changed my last name on there so I'm under Cora Kathleen King now instead of Kollman.**

*****Check out my profile for links to outfits and other such stuff.**

*****At the bottom is a playlist that you may want to refer to throughout the chapter.  
**  
**For those of you who are new to this story, number one go back and start from the beginning :) and moving on...there is SEXUAL CONTENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND in some cases MILD VIOLENCE. **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 10: Just Go

"_Just Go"_

_Take this knife and plunge it deep,  
Deep into this crevice, watch it seep,  
Fill my lungs and watch them swell,  
Suffocating in agony, watch as I pale,  
Last wish-to breathe enough to scream you away,_

Away,  
Take this nail,  
Drive it deeper,  
Push me away,  
Tell me to stay,  
Beg you to come,  
Won't you just go,  
To hell...

Fell, Fell 'cause I'm falling,  
Harder, trying harder to stand,  
Land somewhere worth belonging,  
Wrong, was the wrong thing to say,  
Way, a way to scream,  
Scream, Scream you away,

Away,  
Take this nail,  
Drive it deeper,  
Push me away,  
Tell me to stay,  
Beg you to come,  
Won't you just go,  
Just go to hell...

Veil yourself, pretend to die,  
Die a little bit inside,  
Disappear a little more next time,  
'Cause you, I can see you're alive,  
Only time can tell,

_Only you will tell,  
How far we fall,  
To get to hell..._

Just get the fuck to hell.

_ (C.k.K)_

**EPOV**

I was rather pissed after getting downstairs just to be told Mom wanted me to take the trash out and to do a few little things downstairs. She could tell I was pissed, so she smirked at me, knowing full well what she had done.

_Cock-blocker_

I grabbed up all three bags of trash and made my way out the door, to the side of the house. Each step I took my still persistent hard on was rubbing uncomfortably in my jeans. By the time I was done the throbbing was unbearable, so I stepped the few steps into the garage, and took care of business.

Sure, I was going right back up to Bella, but trust it wouldn't take me long to be ready to go again. I couldn't believe we had gone this long without it.

I had mentioned something to Jasper about combustion at lunch one day last week, and that twit Eric had overheard. He had said that Lauren would give me some behind the scenes play, but I told him I wasn't interested.

He must not have heard me, because before I knew it he had given my number to Stanley and Mallory, though I hadn't heard from Lauren yet, Jessica was all over my shit. She was texting me all the time, and because I'm a desperate dumbass, I texted her back.

Okay so some people call it 'sexting,' but whatever, it isn't like I'm actually doing anything wrong, I'm not cheating, though a lot of guys probably would have by now, if their dicks had been getting wet like mine and then it suddenly stops and was on the verge of shriveling.

I didn't know how much more jacking off I could do, before it became like an obsession or some shit. That is why luckily Bella had suddenly changed her mind, and decided to open herself up for me again, and with that thought I was taking the stairs two at a time to get back to her.

I had taken so long, with the trash, and getting myself off, and having my own internal fucking monologue that she probably had fallen asleep.

I ran in my bedroom door, shutting and locking it quickly, but when I turned around, there was no Bella...anywhere.

I looked around and noticed, things were missing...a lot of things actually.

_What the fuck is going on in here?_

I started tugging at my hair, utterly fucking frustrated and confused. I went to our bathroom...nothing. No Bella...and none of Bella's things. Not her shampoos, or hair gels, or brush, toothbrush, not even a fucking hair-tie.

I went to the closet...none of her clothes.

Nothing on top of her dresser, in her dresser.

I was starting to panic, I couldn't figure out what would cause all this.

My phone snapped me out of my daze, and I ran to it quickly realizing that it wasn't Bella's ringtone, but it was a text.

I opened the phone.

_Lauren...fuck...no no no._

I opened the message, but it was pretty vague, nothing incriminating.

**Do you want to hang out sometime? ~L xoxo**

I checked my inbox.

_Fuck._

**Heard u were lookin 4 sum bhind the scenes play...Bella not givin u any?..im game...Free this weekend. Hit me up! ~L~ xoxo **

Then I looked further..._shit..._I had forgotten to erase my previous messages. There they were, all the sexting and flirting with Jessica.

_Not good...not good at fucking all._

I ran out of my room, and towards the staircase. I wasn't sure where she would have gone, but I was going to find out. As I was running past her old bedroom though, I distinctly heard a tiny sniffle. A sniffle that sounded like it didn't want to be heard, but I did hear it and it broke my heart, because I caused it, and I didn't know if I could fix it this time.

I stepped up to the door, I was trying to find the will to knock, with my forehead rested against the wood, I decided to try the handle first. It was locked of course. I could hear her in there, and I'm pretty sure she knew I was there. She was breathing deeply trying to stifle sobs, but I could hear her breath hitch when it got to be too much.

I took a deep breath as I felt the tears start to fall down my own cheeks. I fucked up, bad, and I'm pretty sure there would be no fixing it this time. I let out my shaky breath, and knocked.

"Please just go, Edward...please," She whispered.

"I can't Bella, please talk to me about this. I am so sorry, I...I know I fucked up, but Bella please, please talk to me," I pleaded with her, and I heard her sobs start, as she heard my own sniffling.

"I...I can't Edward. Not right now, not anytime soon...I just can't. Ple-_sniffle..._please...just go away," She begged, and I didn't want to, but decided to concede.

"I'm sorry, beautiful. I love you, and I'm so sorry I fucked up so bad," I whispered in defeat.

As I turned to leave she whispered one last time, "I loved you, too."

I returned to my room, stripped down to my boxers, and crawled under the covers. I let myself be surrounded by Bella, I could smell her everywhere, and when I closed my eyes I could almost feel her. I wrapped my arms around her pillow, allowing myself to softly cry myself to sleep, pretending that her pillow was her, and that she would eventually forgive me, though I had a feeling this time, she wouldn't, and this was the closest I would ever get to her again.

**BPOV**

_**Heard u were lookin 4 sum bhind the scenes play...Bella not givin u any?..im game...Free this weekend. Hit me up! ~L~ xoxo **_

_I saw red._

I couldn't even think, all I knew was I wanted to get the fuck out of here.

So I grabbed my duffel off the closet shelf, grabbed an armful of clothes off the rack and shoved them in. Then I stopped to think. Where could I go? I didn't have anywhere to go. So I said fuck it and decided until I could find somewhere I would just lock myself in my old room.

I grabbed the duffel, ran to the hall and into my old room, and ran back. Luckily the old room still held a lot of my stuff, so it didn't take long to grab the rest of my stuff from the closet, the dresser, bathroom, my few movies and pictures I had laying around, and my guitar.

Once I made it into my room with everything I slammed the door and locked it. I was so pissed off I couldn't even see straight, I wanted to kill him, at least slap him...really hard...in his fucking beautiful face. He deserved it.

In all my anger I started putting things away, wanting to rid myself of the chaos. It didn't take long and everything was in place, but I noticed in my haste I had grabbed Edward's phone.

I grabbed it up off the bed, and against my better judgment, I opened it.

I went to the messages and reread, the text from Lauren, as I went back to the inbox I decided I wouldn't read the message again...that was until the name Jessica caught my eye.

_Stanley?_

So I opened the texts one by one, starting with the older and working towards the new.

**U dnt want 2 play w/me? -J**

**Hmm... -J**

**Ok how bout we play a lil on the phone? -J**

**This is how I mean... -J**

**I wud take ur cock n my mouth. -J**

**I bet my mouth feels warm...u like it fast n rough bb? -J**

_Okay that is enough of that..._

_...wait..what did he say back?_

**I would never cheat on Bella...and I couldn't without getting caught. -E**

**Yeah. -E**

**What do you mean 'play on the phone'...how? -E**

**Shit Jess, you've got me really hard...I bet ur mouth is so wet and warm. -E**

**Yeah I like it a lil rough...maybe a lil teeth? -E**

_Oh my God..._

I've got to return his phone so I run to the door, and check the hallway...no signs of him yet, so I shoot across the hall and lay his phone on his bed before running back and locking myself in my room once again.

I start to pace because I'm still really pissed off, so I grab a cigarette and go out on the balcony. It doesn't take me long to smoke the one cigarette and I'm back to pacing.

I go back into my room and notice the chair still has stuff yet to be put away, so I walked over and started to set items on my selves...band awards, pictures of my family, and then I stalled.

Pictures of Edward and I...and I just couldn't put it down. That is when it finally hit me. What he had done, and what it meant for us. Well exactly that, there wasn't an us... not anymore.

I stripped down until I was in just my panties and t-shirt and crawled into bed, grasping the photo of Edward and me. The photo that was taken on my birthday, the first day that I realized I was irrevocably in love with Edward 'AM' Cullen.

Then I realized how lonely my bed was, and would be without him, it didn't even smell of him, and I definitely couldn't feel him, yet I needed to have a part of him here with me.

I jumped out of bed and ran to my closet, grabbing the shirt he gave me that night, his old football shirt. I changed and made my way back into bed, clinging to the picture, and the unfamiliar pillow that was all I had left to give me comfort.

The tears started to fall, and I couldn't find will enough to try to stop them.

I heard Edward run up the stairs a few minutes later, and had to stop myself from calling out to him, to ask him why? To ask him to hold me. To ask him to please go back, a make it so it never happened, but instead I just stifled my sobs and waited, and waited, and it felt like forever before he came looking for me.

In reality it was only a few minutes, but the feeling made it last a lifetime. He pleaded with me to talk to him, but I couldn't. Even if I wanted to talk to him, I couldn't, not between the sobs, and the disappointment I was feeling.

Then he told me that he loved me, and I just couldn't say it back. I felt like that part of myself, that part that I had given him so freely, that I trusted him with, was long gone, I just couldn't allow myself to go down that road again, and it hurt. It hurt bad, there was a brief thought in my mind to try that cutting thing... but I just knew I didn't have it in myself, it wasn't something that I actually thought would make me feel better. Then I would just be bleeding, broken, and alone...so, so alone.

I spent a few weeks just lying in bed. I called into work the first two days, and then decided that I needed to at least get myself out of bed long enough to work. Every day after work though, I would grab a snack and then go to bed, other than sleeping and eating my snack, all I did was shower.

I always made sure that Edward was still asleep or gone before I would leave my room, but on day twenty-three there was no avoiding him.

**EPOV**

I got home after playing a game of basketball with the guys, I had gotten up early today and left before I would have to hear Bella get up, get ready, and leave, all the while being as nonchalant as always. Today, her avoidance was just way too hard to accept. It's June 20th, my sixteenth birthday, and I hate today already.

My parents gifted me with the kick-ass Volvo S60 I had been eying and after a stern lecture on safe driving, they gave me the keys.

I made my way upstairs and into my room, shedding my shirt while simultaneously shutting the door, my original intent was to hop into the shower, but then I spied something on my bed.

I walked over and glanced at the present warily; I tugged the card from its place under the bow, and opened it.

It merely said:

Happy 16th Birthday, Edward.

Bella

Even though it didn't say anything extravagant I still got a surge of hope, and yanked the top off of the box.

In the box were two tickets to the Family Values Tour, and an envelope. I opened the envelope and my heart swelled when I saw the gift certificate, dinner for two at Chang's in Port Angeles. She remembered that I love their egg rolls, and their hilarious fortune cookies. She was letting me have another chance... or so I thought until I saw the note paper-clipped to the gift certificate.

_Dear Edward,_

_You need to get out, have fun. Maybe Lauren or Jessica hold the same taste in music as you do, enjoy, be careful and drive safe._

_Sincerely__,_

_Isabella_

The box crumpled in my hands, shower forgone I stalked out the door and up to Bella's before remembering she was at work. I tried the handle, and despite locking it lately, it opened and I sat on her bed, tugging on my hair trying to figure out what the fuck I was doing there in the first place.

I didn't have long to decide, because the next thing I knew I heard the front door close, and footsteps making their way up the stairs.

**BPOV**

I was tired and eager for a shower and bed after counting inventory with Mike all day, cursing as I climbed the two flights of stairs, but I paused as I saw my door cracked, anger wracking my body having been intruded upon, and some slight panic setting in, I usually lock it, but the thought must have skipped my mind this morning.

I pushed the door open and froze as I saw Edward sitting on my bed in only a pair of athletic shorts, his gift in one hand, his other worrying the already abused hair on his head, which was poised towards the floor, assuming he was unwilling to look up.

"H-happy Birthday," I stuttered out, and received no response, so I tried again.

"Do you not like your present?"

With that his head snapped up, and I noticed the redness in his eyes, and it looked like he was in pain.

"Seriously Isabella, if you wanted to torture me you could have just... I don't know ripped out my fingernails one by one, or tried that Asian torture thing, that I'm not sure actually exists, where you drip water on my forehead drop by drop until my skull caves in..." he replied with evidence of strain in his voice.

"I thought it was nice... did you want me to just ignore your birthday? I can't do that Edward, it's not who I am," I answered slightly hurt.

"Nice Isa, nice? You knew very well what I would think when I opened this present," he accused.

"What do you mean? I thought it would be nice to give you a nice night out for your birthday, I had no idea you would react like this, I... I thought you could take your girlfriend or whatever with you and have a great time..." I said slightly confused.

"My girlfriend, seriously? You know very well that I don't have a girlfriend, and you suggested Lauren or Jessica, really? You know very well I don't want to go anywhere with either one of those girls, you know that the only fucking person I would want to spend this date with is you," he growled out, and tossed the tickets and certificate at me.

"I'm sorry, but I thought that with the texts and everything that you would have went with one of them, after I... left," I whispered the last word, not quite wanting to reach that territory.

"You left Bella, you fucking left, and didn't give me a chance to explain, I was hurt, and confused and it sucked, and I know I fucked up, but I never was going to do anything with either of them, I fucking love you Bella, but you weren't here," Edward said, and he was shaking with rage and hurt and sadness, and he was merely inches in front of me now, and the tension was so thick I could feel it radiating in front of me.

"But I was here Edward, I was right in front of you and I know I was in this weird place and time, but we were getting there, do you not remember? I was in your bed spread open for you, when that text came through, and I wasn't even going to look at it, but your phone was going to fall so I moved it and I saw it and I wish I had never touched the fucking thing, but the words I read will never leave my head. If you had just said 'Bella, please, I need to be with you, I need to love you now' I would have given you whatever you wanted, but you didn't. You didn't," I cried, the tears fell from my eyes and down my face and I didn't even bother to try to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry that I didn't want to force you to feel like you had to have sex with me, to be loved with me, but I tried to tell you in every kiss, every hug, every time I fucking held you in our bed, and every fucking time I told you that I love you, Bella, I fucking love you. I didn't give those girls my number, fucking Yorkie did, and the only reason I responded to Jessica, was because I was curious as to what she was going to say. When you found the texts, I'm supposing you didn't read the very last one I sent to her did you?" he seethed.

I shook my head no, in response.

"I told her that I'm sorry that I lead her along with those few texts, and that it felt wrong, and that I didn't want to betray you anymore than what I already had, that no matter what, I was with you, and no one else was going to interrupt that. I want you Bella, you," he breathed out, his hand cupping my cheek, his eyes screaming at me to understand, but the guard shot up, with intent to shut him down.

I shifted my gaze from his and it wasn't very easily done, but I snapped it back to him once I figured out what I needed to say.

"It doesn't change anything Edward, do I still have feelings for you? Yes. I think it is best though, and healthiest for me, not to enter a relationship I'm not ready for, and the intensity I have with you is too much, I can't handle it, and I don't think because of what your actions show, that you are ready for this either. I'm sorry Edward, but you're going to have to find a different date from the one you had hopes of having tonight. Happy Birthday, Edward," I finished by opening the door for him, signaling his cue to exit.

"NO!" Edward screamed, grabbing the closest blunt object and throwing it into the wall, my lamp shattered to pieces, my wall cracked and scratched, with a loud crash. My body jumped and shrank back without telling it to do so. Edward stalked towards me, and I molded into the wall, I tried avoiding his gaze, but he turned my face so I had to meet his eyes.

"One day Bella, you'll be ready, and I don't know what I'll be, think about that," he said in a harsh, but smooth whisper, his eyes soft and pleading. He made his exit, and I closed my door behind him. My back slid down it, and I closed my eyes trying to will my swarming emotions not to turn to panic. They calmed and so did I, so much so that I awoke at three in the morning, with muscles I didn't know I had aching, and I had to force myself up and into bed.

This was it, this was what took Edward from a pining, kind of still boyfriend, to a pissed off ex-boyfriend in a less than five minute conversation, and I caused it.

Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind was telling me this was a good idea, this is what is supposed to happen here in this time and place.

I went on the next day, and the next in exactly the same way until the end of summer had rounded the corner and we were picking up our schedules for sophomore year.

Those nearly two months consisted of me working as much as possible, getting rides from anybody I could; I couldn't wait to get my license so I wouldn't have to be a hassle to everyone else around me. I managed to stay out of the house during the day, and in the nights, Edward was nowhere to be found, so I just went about every day as it was the same, and nothing was changed, just work home, work home, work home. The school year wouldn't make it much different just, school work home, etc.

The school year started pretty simply, the only classes I had with Edward were Band, Chorus, and P.E. So luckily we could avoid each other pretty easily.

My birthday came pretty quietly, no big celebration, or fanfare which was exactly what I preferred. Carlisle and Esme gave me a Volvo C70 convertible in blood red, which was completely kick ass. The girls decided they would take me shopping. The guys, excluding Edward took me to a movies and dinner, for a night of fun without any drama. Edward, he downloaded recording software to my laptop, so I could play and sing, and record demos all in my room. I left him a thank you note on his door.

A/N: Chapter 10: Just Go Playlist

**1. We've Had Enough- Alkaline Trio**

**2. Diary of Jane- Breaking Benjamin**

**3. Stupid Girl- Cold**

**Reviews are more than welcome.**

**Please don't hesitate to ask questions.**

**I hope you continue to read.**

**(P.S. I had written the beginning Author Note awhile ago and forgot when I changed it to mention the fact that I am off of 'lay-off' and back to working overtime on thirds. I don't know how often I will update, but I can assure you that it won't be another year hiatus. Chapter 11 is sitting in my inbox, beta'd and ready for me to do the final touches as we speak. Chapter 12 is nearly finished, {hoping to do that this weekend} and hopefully I can get it to you all quickly as well.)  
**  
**CkK**


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